Thank you all
I have read and re-read the postings in this thread and I appreciate the advice.
Nagol818: we would never disparage the father to the child. We too hope that he will eventually mature into someone the child might want a relationship with.
BelizeBreeze: thanks for the info on that ruling. I will read it carefully.
In the meantime, we will try and set up some basic, well-delineated, supervised visits, where either I (the stepgranddad) or my stepdaughter's father (whom we get along with very well) will be present at all times.
Until the baby's father tries to escalate the issue, we will take no further action, other than perhaps a consultation with a lawyer, just to get up to speed on the California-specific legalities.
And while this is irrelevant to the discussion, it is possible that some of the more 'assertive' responses were caused by a subconscious vision of a softee grandad.
I am 44, 6 foot 5, 255 lbs and I work out 5 days a week.
Not your average fuddy-duddy
Thanks again.