I am so done with fighting

[chrisstansberry]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have been thru hell this last year, as well as my daughter has. I have had an on going battle with my daughters mother for the last year and I have gotten to the point were I am done fighting. 3 years ago my ex had a little girl and told me there was a possibility of me being her father. She told me it was between me and three other guys. During the first 1 1/2 years she would email me or call saying my daughter was in the hospital. I would tell her tell me were you are and I and my family will be there. ( I would always try to bring someone because she has threatned me before if I showed someone would be there ready to kick my ass) she then would tell me don't bother she is not yours. I got tired of the games and filed for paternity thru the AG. She never filled out her paper work so they proceded w/o it. I found out she was mine per DNA test

Over the last year I feel as though I have tried my hardest and trying to establish a relationship with my daughter and I had regular visits. She stopped showing up I made a comment and it got out and the authoritys called and my visits then became supervised. I know what I said was wrong and I can only blame myself. Now I have been found in contempt for child support payments that were made 4 days late and have to pay her attorney fees of $730.00 and she never got held accountable for keeping me from my daughter now I have to start my visits all over again.

I am done fighting for something I feel she will continue to keep me from. I love my daughter very much her and my step children are my life but I can not continue to fight this battle. I have paid 65,000 in legal fees and have gotten no were. Is it best for me to just sighn over my rights if I am going to get no where?

 

[ray25]

You are not a victim. You have made poor choices and must now deal with the consequences of your choices. If you want a better result than what you are getting perhaps you should try different actions.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have been thru hell this last year, as well as my daughter has. I have had an on going battle with my daughters mother for the last year and I have gotten to the point were I am done fighting. 3 years ago my ex had a little girl and told me there was a possibility of me being her father. She told me it was between me and three other guys. During the first 1 1/2 years she would email me or call saying my daughter was in the hospital. I would tell her tell me were you are and I and my family will be there. ( I would always try to bring someone because she has threatned me before if I showed someone would be there ready to kick my ass) she then would tell me don't bother she is not yours. I got tired of the games and filed for paternity thru the AG. She never filled out her paper work so they proceded w/o it. I found out she was mine per DNA test

Over the last year I feel as though I have tried my hardest and trying to establish a relationship with my daughter and I had regular visits. She stopped showing up I made a comment and it got out and the authoritys called and my visits then became supervised. I know what I said was wrong and I can only blame myself. Now I have been found in contempt for child support payments that were made 4 days late and have to pay her attorney fees of $730.00 and she never got held accountable for keeping me from my daughter now I have to start my visits all over again.

I am done fighting for something I feel she will continue to keep me from. I love my daughter very much her and my step children are my life but I can not continue to fight this battle. I have paid 65,000 in legal fees and have gotten no were. Is it best for me to just sighn over my rights if I am going to get no where?

go see a therapist. you have issues you need to work with. you cannot just give this child away because you don't like the dirty work of being a parent. fight for your daughter. fight for yourself.

pay your child support on time.

file for contempt EACH and EVERY TIME mom does not produce the child. attend the supervised visitation. graduate to unsupervised, then work your way back to overnights and weekends.

 

[chrisstansberry]

Ray I am not making myself out to be a victim. I am tired of fighting and getting no were. My child support was paid late yes but it was paid.

 

[Drake01]

No one can tell you what to do, I would suggest maybe sitting down with a pyschologist and talking about some of these issues. What I will say is this: there's a lot more to life than kids. I know that's the great taboo in today's day and age, but it's also the truth. The reality is you can do everything right and still end up with a lousy outcome. Only you get to decide if the finanical and emotional toll this is taking on you is worth it. If it isn't, then take advantage of the fact that Texas is one of the few states where you can sign way your parental rights.

 

[chrisstansberry]

Isabella I have been seeing a therapist since august of last year. She is the reason I was knocked to supervised after having standard. My ex held my daughter from me and when I expressed to her that this pissed me off and made me angry she called CPS on me because she thought I was a danger to her and we live 2 hours away from each other. I do not want to give her up but I am running out of money and running out of fight. All I want is to be a part of her life and her mother will not let me. I just do not have it in me any more. It has taken potential money for her from her. I am at my last straw. I have filed contempt against mom but she always walks away because the case keeps going to a diffrent judge who does not know the history and she walks away every time

 

[ray25]

Ray I am not making myself out to be a victim. I am tired of fighting and getting no were. My child support was paid late yes but it was paid.

What you fail to see is that your child support was late. Late is late in the eyes of the court.

This is only a personal opinion here but for 65k of your parents money, your lawyer is really bad or there are many details left out of your story. Why is your lawyer not trying to get everything heard by the same judge?


I'm not trying to be a jerk here. The only thing I know about you is what you have written. From a neutral standpoint I can say that I see a lot of mistakes that are contributing to the problems you are facing and a lot of justifications.


Your ex is going to make your life as difficult as possible until she gets what she wants (which seems to work for her so why stop?). If you walk away from your child, you let your ex win. You ex will be happy but you will have to try to live with your actions for the rest of your life. The ultimate price will be paid by your daughter. I know this from hearing my oldest step-daughter's personal story of how it feels to have daddy walk away like that. Different circumstances in the situations that led up to the reason her father walked away but the hurt is the same.

 

[stealth2]

Is your ex's name Angela? If so... you may want to peak at the CS board... Just sayin'.

 

[Ohiogal]

Is your ex's name Angela? If so... you may want to peak at the CS board... Just sayin'.

I thought Carrie West was his ex.

 

[stealth2]

Well... given HIS handle, AngelaStansberr seems a bit of a giveaway.

 

[ray25]

My guess is that Angela is his current wife. I don't think he was married to the mother in his case.

 

[chrisstansberry]

Angela is my wife and the only one I have been married to. She has read alot of posts here and referred me here. Carrie is actually my ex and yes I printed what she wrote and gave to my attorney.

Yes my daughter will be the one who he is missing out.

I went to see her yesterday at the nuetral exchange location in San Antonio and I am to show up on time and she is suppose to show up 15 min ahead and she did not do this. I walked in with my step kids and 3 min later they came in. My daughter came running to me " Daddy Daddy miss you lot lot" Her mother then yanked her up and said " No thats Chris" Of course this was documented and the min mom left she was all over me and the kids. Plus she was giving the director a hard time because she did not like the dates for this month and next. The director set them up because it was all she had available due to short notice from the judge. Plus she is not happy she has to pay $40.00 each visit.

The reason it is not going back in front of the same judge who ordered standard visits is because he does not want to here the case untill the social study is complete ( ordered in Dec 08) My family and I completed ours in Jan but she will not even start hers till April 26th then it takes another 30-45 days to close it. She keeps prolonging this and I am getting no where

 

[CourtClerk]

Well given those circumstances, I think you should just give up. Throw in the towel. No one should subject themselves to something that is hard or difficult in life. Life should be all fluff and bunnies and when you face something that is unbelievably difficult, you should run the other way as quickly as possible. So what if what you are walking away from is your own child. It's hard for YOU and that's all that matters... After all, what's the point of fighting for a relationship with your child. You can always just show back up when she's 20 or something and if it's not too hard for her, you can resume then.

In fact, raising teenagers is hard. I think I'll throw mine away too. Thanks OP. I thought I'd just stick it out, but I think I'll go get some younger kid instead. They were easier.

 

[penelope10]

No one can tell you what to do, I would suggest maybe sitting down with a pyschologist and talking about some of these issues. What I will say is this: there's a lot more to life than kids. I know that's the great taboo in today's day and age, but it's also the truth. The reality is you can do everything right and still end up with a lousy outcome. Only you get to decide if the finanical and emotional toll this is taking on you is worth it. If it isn't, then take advantage of the fact that Texas is one of the few states where you can sign way your parental rights.

If there is not another party willing to adopt said child, a Judge in TX is NOT going to allow a parent to sign away their parental rights and obligations. Why? Because it is not in the BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD.

 

[CourtClerk]

Because it is not in the BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD.

But it IS in the best interests of the adults... why doesn't THAT matter????

IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!