I need help! I want custody of my grandson!

[msstaples]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I live in Mississippi. My daughter is 14. She had my grandson when she was 13. Her dad and I are divorced. We have joint legal custody and I have primary physical custody of her. Well she is now acting very rebelliuos and wants to go live with her dad. She has lived with me since the baby was born before that she lived with us both you know she took turns at each house. Her dad has since lost the house and his car. I have taken care of him and her. Her dad hasn't done anything for the baby. I barely get child support for her. Which he is 3000 behind in now. The baby's father is 16 and he doesn't pay child support either because he quit his job. But there is an order for 100 a month for the baby. The baby is 10 months old. Now that I am getting ready to move to another state, her dad wants to jump up and take the baby from me. He says that if my daughter comes to live with him then the baby is too. He doesn't have anywhere to live. He can't pay child support for our 3 kids and he has never done anything except bought pampers twice and gave me 25 for his daycare. I pay his daycare every week of 50. I buy his clothes and everything. I don't have a job but I haven't had one since he was born. I was drawing unemployment but I go to college and my mom helps me and so does my lover. Which is the problem I guess. I am a lesbian. My lover has helped me take care of this baby with since he was in his mother's womb. Everything he has either I , she or my mom bought it. We have a secure place to stay, she has a full time job, and she is in school as well. I want to know how I can get custody of him and if I stand a reasonable chance at getting it because I am a lesbian. Please help me!

 

[cyjeff]

That was almost a classic overshare.

Anyway, your daughter lives where the custody order says she lives.

You have no control whatsoever over the grandchild. Your ex is not responsible for supporting the grandchild.

The grandchild has two parents. Those are the only two people responsible for supporting the child.

 

[Ohiogal]

And quite frankly you won't get custody of your grandchild if your grandchild's father wants her.

 

[msstaples]

First of all if you are not an attorney I don't need your opinion! And as far as overshare I'm stating the facts. The parents are 14 and 16 and can't take care of themselves or my grandson. That's the whole point! I'm taking care of him. I need legal advice not your opinion on my lifestyle. So again if you are not an attorney please don't bother to respond. Thank you!

 

[Just Blue]

First of all if you are not an attorney I don't need your opinion! And as far as overshare I'm stating the facts. The parents are 14 and 16 and can't take care of themselves or my grandson. That's the whole point! I'm taking care of him. I need legal advice not your opinion on my lifestyle. So again if you are not an attorney please don't bother to respond. Thank you!

An attorney DID respond.

And considering the splendid job you did raising your daughter...Why on earth do you think a court would award you custody of this baby???

 

[Ohiogal]

First of all if you are not an attorney I don't need your opinion! And as far as overshare I'm stating the facts. The parents are 14 and 16 and can't take care of themselves or my grandson. That's the whole point! I'm taking care of him. I need legal advice not your opinion on my lifestyle. So again if you are not an attorney please don't bother to respond. Thank you!

WEll I am an attorney an if dad wants the child and does NOT agree to you having custody then you will NOT get custody. So deal with it.

 

[msstaples]

Well obviously you didn't read what I said. The father is 16! He nor his mother wants the baby. I've had him since he was born! And how I raised my daughter is not the issue here. I worked two jobs to take care of my kids because my sorry husband did nothing as he is doing now. I wanted to know what the law in Mississippi stated not just your "opinion". So deal with that!

 

[msstaples]

An attorney DID respond.

And considering the splendid job you did raising your daughter...Why on earth do you think a court would award you custody of this baby???

You don't know me....so before you start running your mouth and judging how I raised my daughter - read the facts know-it-all! Your approval is not needed nor desired.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well obviously you didn't read what I said. The father is 16! He nor his mother wants the baby. I've had him since he was born! And how I raised my daughter is not the issue here. I worked two jobs to take care of my kids because my sorry husband did nothing as he is doing now. I wanted to know what the law in Mississippi stated not just your "opinion". So deal with that!

The law states that the child's PARENTS have priority and constitutionally protected rights to raise their child. NOT the grandparents. Hence if the baby's father wants to raise him, he will win over you. Regardless of the fact that he is a minor. So get mad and stomp your feet like a child -- how you raised your daughter IS at issue. Before you try to raise your grandchild you should grow up first yourself and get some maturity. At least so you don't start throwing temper tantrums because you don't get your way on a public message board.

 

[OhReally?]

You don't know me....so before you start running your mouth and judging how I raised my daughter - read the facts know-it-all! Your approval is not needed nor desired.

Well I see nothing's changed here since I posted over 3 months ago. The same BS by the same "breed" -- that "breed" being those that don't like being told the legal truth. So, here's what you do MSYouDontKnowJack -- fork out money and PAY an attorney for an hour of their time to tell you the exact same thing.

 

[OhReally?]

So deal with that!

Oh here we go. Another Keyboard Commando -- some poster who thinks their Mr/Ms Tough Person with that keyboard. Spare us your "tough chick" act. Because you're actually not as tough as you think. Nor are you that smart since it appears you didn't talk to your child about the options that were available since neither of them wanted the child.

 

[cyjeff]

You don't know me....so before you start running your mouth and judging how I raised my daughter - read the facts know-it-all! Your approval is not needed nor desired.

Marvy.

The overshare comment was related to your lesbianism. I really don't care and it had nothing to do with the case.

You state that you are providing for the child. However, then you state that you don't have a job and are relying upon the charity of your lover and mother for support. THEY are providing for the child.

Your own children (you know, the new parents) are responsible for the life they brought into the world... whether they wish to be or not.

Your caring for the grandchild will guarantee that your 14 year old daughter will be dropping off another child for you to raise ever year and a half or so.

Have you thought about getting your child a hobby that DIDN'T involve sex? And that would be the bad parenting mentioned above. There isn't a judge in the county that will say, "Wow. So your own daughter had sex at 13 and a child at 14 and you want to start taking in others? Sure!!!"

Do the baby a favor and put him up for adoption. He really deserves better than the Jerry Springer episode you are living in.

 

[TheGeekess]

Marvy.

The overshare comment was related to your lesbianism. I really don't care and it had nothing to do with the case.

You state that you are providing for the child. However, then you state that you don't have a job and are relying upon the charity of your lover and mother for support. THEY are providing for the child.

Your own children (you know, the new parents) are responsible for the life they brought into the world... whether they wish to be or not.

Your caring for the grandchild will guarantee that your 14 year old daughter will be dropping off another child for you to raise ever year and a half or so.

Have you thought about getting your child a hobby that DIDN'T involve sex? And that would be the bad parenting mentioned above. There isn't a judge in the county that will say, "Wow. So your own daughter had sex at 13 and a child at 14 and you want to start taking in others? Sure!!!"

Do the baby a favor and put him up for adoption. He really deserves better than the Jerry Springer episode you are living in.

Cosign permission, please!

It's obvious that these two teens are unable/unwilling to care for Baby; Granny isn't much better since she allowed her 13 year old daughter to have sex and a baby. (Birth Control is available in Mississippi!) Baby needs to be with a family that will take care of Baby.

 

[stealth2]

*warning* - non-legal response.

This thread makes my heart hurt. I don't care about granny, or her "lover" (who cares, to be honest), or grandpa, etc. But I do care about all of these children - Mom, Dad and the babe.

I have a 14yo daughter. As mature as she is (emotionally), a child of her own is the last thing she is ready for. Luckily, she has goals and dreams and aspirations for herself - enough to help her refrain from making this sort of mistake. OP's daughter obviously has none of that. Or she wouldn't have felt the need to lay down with a boy at the age of 13. It physically hurts to know that there are children who have so little to look forward to, and so little regard for themselves, and no one to help them along the way.

I also have a 16yo son. He's no more prepared to be a father than his sister is to be a mother. He also has places he wants to go - intellectually and professionally. He knows that becoming a father would shatter those dreams in a heartbeat.

Then there's the poor little boy. Who deserves so much more than children for parents. Children who, quite obviously, were allowed to run off the track somehow, somewhere. And have no possible way of supporting him as he should be supported. His future is dim, to say the least.

It's truly heartbreaking.

 

[cyjeff]

Which is why I said...

If the grandmother really loves this child, the best thing is to let him be adopted.