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I was reported to CPS

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wileybunch

Senior Member
I have a feeling that since I have been looking for employment in Austin, that he may try to make it hard for me to move. I also think that he's fighting to keep standard posession.
It would have been nice to know this in the first place. Yes, that is very likely what it could be. Do your orders or state statutes require you to get permission to make such a move? Will it impact his parenting time/relationship with the child if you move? Can't blame him for filing for this.

Again, because my ex wasn't able to get served, my attorney told me that I don't know that he is here and it could be his parents trying to utilize the visitation. I denied them last Wednesday not only because they have never in 8 years tried to visit her on Wednesday, but no one called and we were at my daughters religious class since she is working towards her sacraments.
It could be his parents, but you can't control who Dad lets spend time with your mutual child on his parenting time. That is the only time his g'parents CAN see the child see they can't sue for their own visitation time.

Any advice or just continue to wait and tell you what my attorney says? Thanks.
I think the whole school thing was BS, but you've resolved that. But, the jockeying for access and place of residence ... I don't know that you've handled that properly, but don't have enough info to know for sure.
 


cmtx2

Member
It would have been nice to know this in the first place. Yes, that is very likely what it could be. Do your orders or state statutes require you to get permission to make such a move? Will it impact his parenting time/relationship with the child if you move? Can't blame him for filing for this.

It could be his parents, but you can't control who Dad lets spend time with your mutual child on his parenting time. That is the only time his g'parents CAN see the child see they can't sue for their own visitation time.

I think the whole school thing was BS, but you've resolved that. But, the jockeying for access and place of residence ... I don't know that you've handled that properly, but don't have enough info to know for sure.

I should have clarified that I was considering moving, but it really hasn't been a secret to my exes. I am an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist and my field is not very well supported in the area since there is not much industry here. I stayed these last two years so that my daughter could finish her religous education. While I stayed here, I sought and obtained alternative certification to teach and that's what I have been doing so that I could earn enough.

My ex only moved back almost 2 years ago. We have been divorced for over 6 years. He chose to live away that entire time until the 2 years ago. He has no job and lives with his parents. Presently, he has no car either since he just totaled the one he did have.

Our divorce decree says that I may move anywhere that I want in the continental US. If I move out of state, which I don't intend to do, I must provide 6 months advance notice. If I move within the state, which I would like to do, I must provide 3 months advance notice, which I have done.

I would like to work in my field and the money is substantially better. I will not move unless the right job comes my way.

Remember also, that my ex only moved back almost 2 years ago and truly, he hasn't been involved with our daughter. It's his parents that see her the most and I have always allowed it until recently when the modification drama began.

Does that make sense? He lives with them, so yes, technically it's modifying their visitation.
 

cmtx2

Member
It's gone to the next level

Well, though I haven't been served, I received a copy of his wants and they include the following:

1. He wants me to pay all reasonable court costs and denies all allegations.
2. He is counterpetitioning for 50/50 since the standard posession isn't working out according to him.
3. For whatever reason, no alcohol during the times of posession (funny, cuz while I enjoy wine, I don't get drunk nor have I ever been in trouble).
4. He wants me to reside in our current county

He is also trying to block our daughter from leaving her current school, but luckily I had already enrolled her today and she starts tomorrow and I haven't been served.

Advice, comments?

I can't believe he wants to take her from me 50/50. What are his chances and what could they base this on? How would it be in our daughters best interest? I don't even spank her! I'm so scared now. I just wanted to modify until he got some help. I was asking the court for temporary orders!!!!!!!

He's still avoiding service, but there is an order for alternative service meaning that they'll serve anyone over the age 16 at his home.

Attorney still says I don't know if hes there and no his parents don't get to exercise his rights and it says in our orders that if he wasn't there that our daughter had to be returned to me.

Help.
 
Your divorce decree might not state it, but usually they restrict you in Texas to within the contigious counties of where the case was heard. You dont have anything like that in your decree? They usually dont like a CP to move away without a court ok. (however, all counties are diff) In Travis county they will try to put that restriction on you. (which is where you intend to move) and Williamson is even more strict (a county outside Austin)

My other question is, are you still denying the g-parents pickup's? I know you stated your lawyer said to do that, but that seems like contempt. Specially since in Texas a parent is allowed to designate someone to pick up. MOST lawyers in this area (I live in Austin) will tell you you MUST always have a child avaliable, even if the other parent never picks them up. In my case the judge said you can leave the house after 1 hour of the schedule visit if you dont hear from the other person, but the child has to be avaliable 1 hour before and 1 hour after, for EVERY court ordered visit.

I guess my point is, you should be careful, it seems they are trying every way to get to you and to find some hole to cause you trouble...
 

cmtx2

Member
Our decree states I can move within TX provided I provide three months notification which I have. I can even move to another state provided I give 6 months notification

Yes, I am following my attorneys advice and since I don't know where he is since he hasn't gotten served, I don't have to let my daughter go. He can designate the grandparents to pick her up, but if I have reason to believe he isn't there (and I technically do since he hasn't gotten served) I don't have to let her go.

What about his requests? Is it possible for him to get 50/50 when I was asking for temporary until he gets help. I have a clean record, teach science, and don't do anything.
Hell, i'm 31 and don't even date...and not to toot my own horn, but i'm attractive. I get asked out all the time but it's not worth it.

I think his attorney is reaching, but seriously, it will break our daughters heart to be separated from me that long. I want her to see her dad....I just want her to be safe at the same time.
 
Of course his attorney is reaching :) Dont you think they do that? My husbands ex's lawyer asked for SOLE custody while she was on supervised visitation. Sole custody in Texas is rare as it is, but when you are supervised visits you ask for that?

Like others have said I cant predict what a judge will do, and I am not in your county. I attended many, many hearings in several counties in Texas while determining I didnt want to take the bar :eek: As a rule, judges here are big on making sure parents get visitation and that the parent child relationship is not disturbed. You have an attorney, so you should be ok...nothing anyone tells you on here will make up for the fact that your attorney knows your county and judges. I know they charge you everytime you call, but the $ you might be out will make up for your peace of mind, you should call and ask your attorney what they think.
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
Make sure you are intimately familiar with every provision in your court order to make sure you are in line with all things.

Yes, I am following my attorneys advice and since I don't know where he is since he hasn't gotten served, I don't have to let my daughter go. He can designate the grandparents to pick her up, but if I have reason to believe he isn't there (and I technically do since he hasn't gotten served) I don't have to let her go.
I think you are treading on thin ice here. It's not restricted who can pick up child or where the visitation must occur. You have no way of "knowing" in advance if Dad will be there or not. And, you can bet that any time you withheld a visit, of course Dad WAS there. There's no way you can say he wasn't. G'parents can easily say they came to pick up child and that dad was due to arrive and meet up with daughter/g'parents within 30 minutes, but daughter wasn't there therefore the visit was missed.

In reality, Dad does not have to let daughter do her religious education classes. I know it stinks, but you do not get to decide what happens on his time. I know you think Dad isn't going to be there for visitations, but you can't prove that when you're not even letting the child go to visitations (can't prove a negative). What you CAN do since you are going to court in the near future is get the CO modified for this specific instruction that you know the dates/times be allowed, but keep in mind in the future if dates/times change, you can't unilaterally decide child will attend those things on Dad's time.
 
I totally agree with Wiley on this. (not that you need my approval)

You really have to be careful, judges are not happy to see a parent not getting visitation.
Specially in Texas, they really frown on that. The AG in Texas now will give help to parents being denied visitation through courses with lawyers. Which goes to show how much they encourage the child/parent relationship.

Just be careful here...I would let your child go unless a judge says no..but that just my OPINION.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Our decree states I can move within TX provided I provide three months notification which I have. I can even move to another state provided I give 6 months notification

Yes, I am following my attorneys advice and since I don't know where he is since he hasn't gotten served, I don't have to let my daughter go. He can designate the grandparents to pick her up, but if I have reason to believe he isn't there (and I technically do since he hasn't gotten served) I don't have to let her go.

What about his requests? Is it possible for him to get 50/50 when I was asking for temporary until he gets help. I have a clean record, teach science, and don't do anything.
Hell, i'm 31 and don't even date...and not to toot my own horn, but i'm attractive. I get asked out all the time but it's not worth it.

I think his attorney is reaching, but seriously, it will break our daughters heart to be separated from me that long. I want her to see her dad....I just want her to be safe at the same time.
He is hiding out on a warrant for being a no-show for court for a previous DUI, and got another DUI in the meantime. I really don't think he has any reasonable hope of not spending some time in jail, let alone getting 50/50 custody.

However, what may happen is that he will get supervised visitation with his parents as the supervisors...which really won't change anything unless his parents take the job of supervisiors seriously.

Listen to your attorney. Your attorney is the best person to give you advice regarding your situation.
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
He is hiding out on a warrant for being a no-show for court for a previous DUI, and got another DUI in the meantime.
Where is the information that he has a warrant and was a no-show in court? OP's other thread said he'd had prior arrests, but hasn't had a conviction and just recently got another DUI arrest.

Listen to your attorney. Your attorney is the best person to give you advice regarding your situation.
But, you are giving advice here, too, so why do that if she should just listen to her attorney? Is this a counter-statement to the advice to tread carefully about continuing to deny visitation even in light of the filings yesterday coming down the pike against OP?

ETA: Never mind. There was apparently yet a 3rd post in the last few weeks before these recent 2.
https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/modification-visitation-444426.html
 
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cmtx2

Member
I apologize in advance for all the confusion. Let me make this as clear as possible (mud :)

1. Ex is facing pending DWI charges for an accident that occured on Nov. 20. The charges have been turned over to the county attorneys office according to a police officer friend of mine. Ex hasn't gone to fight this because he has an open warrant for Mis. B Theft of checks.

2. Was arrested in October for failure to appear in court on what is referred to as a 2nd DWI. The status of that case is still filed and pending another hearing.

3. Is still avoiding service, so there is now an order for alternative service and I am unsure what that means.

4. I haven't been served yet either and he was trying to block me from removing my daughter from Catholic School since his mom is the principal, but as of yesterday she was enrolled in another school and as of this morning, started her new school. I still have not been served and this is what my attorney told me to do before I got served. I have provided the school with a certified copy of our divorce decree so that he can't remove her much less pick her up and such.

This is such a game of cat and mouse and yes, I feel better today and believe that he is reaching for the stars and i'm still going to follow my attorneys advice. I have repeatedly called both counselors too in hopes of moving her appointments up from the 27th without success.

I'm also hoping that he will get supervised visitation and given the interference of his parents in all of this (and the fact that his sis works for CPS) I hope that the court will grant someone else as the supervisor.

There's so much confusion in all of this, but ask and I will tell you anything that you have questions about.

I know that you are only providing me with all scenarios and I intend to follow my attorneys advice, but it's nice to know what I may have to expect.
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
OP, thanks for laying some of the things out together in one post.

But, I'm still trying to figure out what grounds you think you have to deny visitation since 3rd parties are allowed to do pick ups. (1) Did Dad allegedly drive under the influence with the child in the car and (2) what was the timeframe between when you became aware that happened and you filed in court to modify his visitation because of that?
 

cmtx2

Member
OP, thanks for laying some of the things out together in one post.

But, I'm still trying to figure out what grounds you think you have to deny visitation since 3rd parties are allowed to do pick ups. (1) Did Dad allegedly drive under the influence with the child in the car and (2) what was the timeframe between when you became aware that happened and you filed in court to modify his visitation because of that?
I understand, the fact is that I don't know where he is because the address that he provided (and yes he is ordered to keep me notified of address changes and no he never has) has been unuseable in serving him or contacting him in any way. I even gave his parents an out and asked them if Les would be present during visitations and they said they don't have to tell me anything, so I don't know where he is and he can't get served.

Also, it does state in our decree that if he is unavailable, that our daughter is to remain with me or if he must leave a visitation early, she is to be returned to me.

He did not drive under the influence of alcohol while with my daughter, but he has managed to total 2 vehicles in less than 4 months and has gotten in an accident with her in the car, but no police were involved.

I learned of his second wreck and pending DWI less than a month after it happened and while I made the mistake of denying him access before I had retained my attorney, every other time (only once more) has been under the advisement of my attorney because of what I stated earlier.

There are also other grounds such as "emotional" that the counselor is aware of and that's another reason I have been searching for so long and now have 2 lined up.

It was a long shot and modifying visitation on the grounds that I stated above, but because of his record, his current warrants (5 city, 1 county), there was also a chance. I was never going to ask for denial of visitation or anything, just temporary because of he medication that he's on too, which I don't believe he hasn't used while driving with our daughter. These meds include barbituates and vicoding. He is also drinking again, obviously, and doesn't need to mix the meds with alcohol. Our daughter has expressed concern, because of his drooling, not getting out of bed, and weird behavior that frightens her, but when I told her to tell her grandparents, she said they get angry with her.

It's a mess. Oh, and I filed on the 30th of December...CPS happened on the 9th of Jan. It's just a mess now.
 
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cmtx2

Member
On a more positive note, I still have not been served, but also our daughter had a wonderful day at her new public school. She stated that "it's way differnet", but she likes it and was super excited today. She didn't even let me get out of the car and walk her to class today which made me happy/sad. You know what I mean?

The police came again last night because we were not there, but once they saw that she was happy and that I have an attorney that's advising me, they said that they won't intervene. They'll just continue to write the report and agreed that they don't know where my ex is either because he isn't the one contacting them at all. It's all the grandparents, but we're working still to get him served.

I wanted to take the time to thank you all for your continued advice and input, especially those that believe my attorney will take care of everything and knows this county better than anyone.

I finally feel like everything will work in my daughters best interest. There's just no way that a judge could give him 50/50 considering his record and all that his parents are doing instead of him.

Her last school hasn't sent her permanant records yet, but that was to be expected since paternal grandma is the principal. I will probably have to intervene and submit another complaint should that problem continue, but it just discredits her.

Based on everything that's happened up until now, do you think I have a real chance for modification of visitation or is it still probably going to remain standard?

We have asked for temp orders so that investigations of my allegations and his can take place and that will happen once one of us has been served...I think?
 

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