+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 29
  1. #1
    cmtx2 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    154

    I was reported to CPS

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

    This is what I posted on my other thread in which I am seeking modification of visitation. I thought this warranted a new thread, but if I am wrong I apologize in advance and will do what I should to end the thread.

    This took place yesterday and is what I wrote.

    My daughter had early release from schoold today and I asked my mom to call me when she had picked her up. Call me paranoid, but I just had a feeling that all would not be right. My mother called me at work and told me that my daughter told her that a CPS worker was at the school to talk to her.

    She said that she got called to the principals office (who happens to be her paternal grandma) and thought she was in trouble, but she wasn't. The worker was there to ask questions and that was all.

    I immediately told my principal (yes, i'm a teacher) that I had to leave and why and called my attorney while driving to my daughters school. My attorney was in court, but her clerk said to make sure and file a complaint at the school for not contacting me about the investigator and to follow up with CPS.

    I got to my daughters campus (mind you that she was with my granny where my mom had taken her) and immediately informed my exes mother that I would be filing a complaint against her for her failure to contact me regarding the situation. I also asked for the investigators info since it was my understanding that they are supposed to leave a way to contact. She just sat there and smuggly said that I could get the info from CPS and I can file whatever complaint I want.

    This is not the first time she abused her power. Last year, she took my daughter out of school without my permission to take her to a funeral. I didn't file a complaint then, but I warned her that she was not to take my daughter off campus without my permission ever again.

    Also, and here's where it get interesting, my former sister in law works for CPS!!!! That's right!!! Gasp if you must.

    I did tell former mother in law that I would pursue a complaint with CPS too. I went directly to CPS and asked to speak to a supervisor or the investigator because I was being wrongfully accused. They asked me to wait which I did. The investigator, who was from another town due to the fact my ex sis in law works there, told me that there was a call alleging emotional abuse and neglect and that he couldn't tell me who made the allegations although I would bet money it was my former sis in law because of the precise nature of the allegations and descriptions.

    He asked me questions about my daughter, arguements with my mom, and other things, but determined that nothing was going on that's unusual. He does want my daughter to seek counseling, but I already have two appointments with two counselors because I knew she would need it.

    I provided him with that information and he advised me on filing complaints and such and said that everything would be fine.

    Since both my mom and I work for the school district (public) she got approval to move my daughter to any campus that I would like and we are considering doing just that since grandma can't keep personal and professional seperate. I am trying to get in touch with the Catholic Diocese regarding the complaint, but no ones available. I also have to get approval from them to release me from the contract that binds my daughter to their campus.

    What else should I be doing and what am I missing? Can you believe how heartless they are? I even told grandma that this could all get resolved in court if they would let my ex get served.

    I'm waiting for my attorney to call me back. I can't believe this. 8 years as a mom and now they complain. They said I have an eating disorder, that it could rub off on my daughter. I explained that I don't, but I do take meds for adult ADD and i've lost a few pounds from stress over this modification thing. They said I locked her in the bathroom! I just now started to send her to her room for 5 minutes at a time because she hates to be alone. Stepping away for a minute.

    BACK....just talked with the Priest who presides over the schools and he said that I could remove my daughter. While it's a consideration, I want to wait the weekend and let emotions die down before making that decision. I think what I will try to do is have an intervention with Grandma and her superiors (the priests) discussing her role at the schools and how negatively it would effect my daughter if she is put in the line of fire.

    I also spoke to my attorney and we need the counselors but the appointments aren't til the 27th. I've tried and tried, but that's the earliest we can get in. I have to meet with my attorney on Monday too.

    Any advice?


    Addition: Can I file false allegation charges and if so against who? and how?
  2. #2
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,110
    I absolutely would change the child's school. Having the child going to school where the paternal grandmother is the principal, in a situation like yours, is simply asking for trouble.

    I hope you made it clear to the CPS personnel that you were talking to, that sis in law works for CPS and the situation regarding dad.
  3. #3
    cmtx2 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    154
    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    I absolutely would change the child's school. Having the child going to school where the paternal grandmother is the principal, in a situation like yours, is simply asking for trouble.

    I hope you made it clear to the CPS personnel that you were talking to, that sis in law works for CPS and the situation regarding dad.
    I have truly considered removing my daughter from the school, but the entire Diocese is controlled by one entity. There are no other Catholic schools to move her to and I would be taking her from a school she loves and moving her to public school for the first time in the middle of the school year.

    Mind you, that she has been attending this school since she was 3! I don't think it would be in my daughters best interest if I didn't try this avenue first. That is, if I didn't get the schools administrators involved like i'm doing. Should another incident occur, then I will act and the court would have to acknowledge that I tried first, especially because my exes would try to make me look bad for moving my daughter so swiftly.

    I did make it clear that the paternal aunt worked with CPS and is aware of the ins and outs. That is why the investigator was from another town and the file would remain off limits to her. I have requested a copy of all information related to this case that they are allowed to provide me since i'm sure my attorney would like to see it as well.

    I also told them about the pending modification and while they made note of it, they also told me that it's seperate from this. I'm just glad they understood that I already had 2 counselors set up to speak with my daughter.

    On another note, I will be calling both counselors to inform them of the situation and my daughters need to see them. My daughter is well aware of what CPS is because her aunt works for them. She was so upset because I had told her she would be talking to counselors soon and that's what she thought the investigator was until he told her what he was. She was so scared at home that I was in trouble and her nerves were so bad, that she threw up about 4 times that evening. She must see the counselors sooner than the 27th.

    Is there any other advice?
  4. #4
    wileybunch is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Southern NV
    Posts
    3,577
    You felt your daughter needed counseling because of Dad's drug use, right? Until you can get in with a counselor, you might visit a parenting forum or online resource that deals specifically with that to get words of encouragement and ideas. If the anxiety is from the CPS incidents, I think with that you need to assure her it was a mistake and that you are handling it. I think with that one you have a lot of control so can change your daughter's perception of things (whereas the drug situation's more difficult, not so much in your control).
  5. #5
    cmtx2 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    154
    Quote Originally Posted by wileybunch View Post
    You felt your daughter needed counseling because of Dad's drug use, right? Until you can get in with a counselor, you might visit a parenting forum or online resource that deals specifically with that to get words of encouragement and ideas. If the anxiety is from the CPS incidents, I think with that you need to assure her it was a mistake and that you are handling it. I think with that one you have a lot of control so can change your daughter's perception of things (whereas the drug situation's more difficult, not so much in your control).
    Right, I was getting my daughter counseling for his drug use, alcohol use, and other things that were going on in the home. I wanted her to obtain coping methods and such that I can't teach her.

    As for the sickness, I did reassure that I had taken care of it and that she is not being taken away from me. Since she is sure that my exes had something to do with because of her paternal aunts employment with CPS, she has expressed being scared of my exes. Again, I have told her that I don't know who did what, but that her other family is not mad at her and in no way would they hurt her. I've explained they are mad at me, but that she doesn't have to worry about that either. They aren't going to hurt either of us.

    I'm working hard to ensure she feels safe. While I am a teacher, I have a BS and MS in psychology and have some insight on what I should do, but I also know that I am biased and she needs the third party to help her.
  6. #6
    wileybunch is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Southern NV
    Posts
    3,577
    She could probably use someone to talk to who's not related to the situation anyway. She's got to have some trust issues with what the paternal g'ma has done. You might also get some counseling to learn how you should deal with the situations that involve her and even for yourself. It may get worse, too, and you'll be glad you have a relationship established with a counselor you can tap into.
  7. #7
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    52,252
    I have been following your threads and believe that you have gotten great advice. Pursue the counseling and quite frankly you may seriously want to look at pulling your daughter at the end of this year and sending her to public school beginning next school year. Why? Because grandma is going to most likely continue doing what she wants.

    Don't worry too much about CPS. Until you have something to worry about. Okay?
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  8. #8
    cmtx2 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    154
    Thank you all for your responses. Ohiogal, I am going to pull at the end of this year. I just wanted to avoid pulling her over the weekend/in the middle of the year while I could.

    On the counseling for her, yeah, she is going to need it and i'm calling both counselors tomorrow to beg for an earlier appointment since both are still a couple of weeks away.

    As for counseling for me, I definitley need it. I've been putting it off while I arrange everything for my daughter, but I am going to pursue it for me as well. Not only to learn to cope better with the situation and help my daughter, but to help myself too. My anxiety level is killing me and there's a certain amount of betrayl that I feel too since the paternal aunt and I were practically best friends til I filed for modification.

    As for CPS, I will leave it alone since they found nothing and the case is closed. We, my attorney and I, will see about getting a copy of the report since the CPS investigation will probably be brought up in court, but that's after my ex finally gets served.

    Are my exes digging themselves a hole? I mean, this can't look good to a court since it's not in our daughters best interest.

    Again, thank you all for the advice and I will definitely keep you updated as I know you all are right....it will get worse before it gets better.
  9. #9
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,110
    Quote Originally Posted by cmtx2 View Post
    Thank you all for your responses. Ohiogal, I am going to pull at the end of this year. I just wanted to avoid pulling her over the weekend/in the middle of the year while I could.

    On the counseling for her, yeah, she is going to need it and i'm calling both counselors tomorrow to beg for an earlier appointment since both are still a couple of weeks away.

    As for counseling for me, I definitley need it. I've been putting it off while I arrange everything for my daughter, but I am going to pursue it for me as well. Not only to learn to cope better with the situation and help my daughter, but to help myself too. My anxiety level is killing me and there's a certain amount of betrayl that I feel too since the paternal aunt and I were practically best friends til I filed for modification.

    As for CPS, I will leave it alone since they found nothing and the case is closed. We, my attorney and I, will see about getting a copy of the report since the CPS investigation will probably be brought up in court, but that's after my ex finally gets served.

    Are my exes digging themselves a hole? I mean, this can't look good to a court since it's not in our daughters best interest.

    Again, thank you all for the advice and I will definitely keep you updated as I know you all are right....it will get worse before it gets better.
    Yes, they are digging themselves a hole. Keep good documentation of everything that happens.

    Its really sad that they have decided to turn this into an adversarial situation between you and them, because it forces you to do things that you might not otherwise do. However they clearly hoped that by involving CPS that they would have an opportunity for placement of your child...or leverage in a custody/visitation suit.

    I still think that it might be best to change your child's school sooner than the end of this year. Things may very well escalate since they gained no leverage from this last stunt. Its not guaranteed that they will escalate because your ex sis-in-law may get some backlash at work and grandma may get some backlash at work as well. However, its not unusual for things to escalate so don't let it get you too worked up if it does.
  10. #10
    cmtx2 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    154
    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Yes, they are digging themselves a hole. Keep good documentation of everything that happens.

    Its really sad that they have decided to turn this into an adversarial situation between you and them, because it forces you to do things that you might not otherwise do. However they clearly hoped that by involving CPS that they would have an opportunity for placement of your child...or leverage in a custody/visitation suit.

    I still think that it might be best to change your child's school sooner than the end of this year. Things may very well escalate since they gained no leverage from this last stunt. Its not guaranteed that they will escalate because your ex sis-in-law may get some backlash at work and grandma may get some backlash at work as well. However, its not unusual for things to escalate so don't let it get you too worked up if it does.
    I understand what you mean about her school. Believe me, I go back and forth, but we're meeting tomorrow at 2...Me, ex mom in law, and her supervisor. If she even gives a hint that she can't handle it, and believe me she can't act, then I will pull my daughter. I have the forms ready for her to start public school and the backing of my district.

    I also have her supervisor, in this case a priest, who is granting me permission to pull my daughter without reprecussions. After all, I have a contract with the school that he is willing to let me out of in the best interest of my daughter because grandma has screwed up. It's hard to decide, but if I have to, then I will. Does that make sense? She's been going to her school for 5 years and has never been in public school. It's hard.

    I have been documenting everything and will document the meeting tomorrow. I have also talked with my daughters teacher who has assured me that what we discuss is confidential in the best interest of my daughter. She is taking good care of her.

    I'm sure that things will get worse before they get better and I am trying to handle it as best as I can. Thank god for my family.

    Thank you, too.
  11. #11
    cmtx2 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    154
    Well, I met with my attorney and she showed me the affidavit from the person responsible for serving my ex husband. The affidavit states that she showed up the Monday before last at 2 pm and his father answered the door. She told him what she was there to do and he insisted that my ex was too sick to come to the door and called my ex mother in law to the door. She stated the same thing, but told her to come back at 6 pm. When the service person went back at 6, they did not answer the door. They never answered it again and she states in the affidavit that she believes my ex husband is avoiding service.

    Meanwhile, I went to the meeting with my ex mother in law and her superior (remember she is my daughters principal too) and felt that she was a complete fake. I also felt that her superior was not supportive and a complete fake, so I decided to pull my daughter from the school.

    Yes, she was hurt at first and while I supported her disappointment, I also remained upbeat about the new possibilities and she is excited now. Yes, there is still sadness for both of us, but we are remaing optimistic.

    I signed the paperwork and informed my ex mom in law that if her son wants to know what school our daughter is attending, he can ask me himself since she is not only the principal, but his mom and it would be a conflict of interest. Whether she will listen to me or not is yet to be seen.

    I think I have made the right choice and we look forward to her first school day on Wednesday.

    Meanwhile, I worry about what else they may have up their sleeves. My attorney has advised me since he can't be served, how do I know he is here and why would I let his parents exercise his rights. I don't like it, but she's right and my daughter is feeling too betrayed for me to make her go over to their house. I can't trust that they would return her.

    Thoughts?
  12. #12
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    With Capt'n Hook
    Posts
    11,320
    Have the process server continue to try serving ...

    I can sympathize with the CPS card; my X's GF mother and the GF tried that trick a number of times. What it landed up doing was documenting that I WAS being a good mother AND that my X was "emotionally" damaging the children. He was warned by a number of heads of a few departments that if he tried that again, he would be charged with "emotional" abuse.

    Best I can suggest is to remain upbeat. And keep the child away from the grandparents.
  13. #13
    cmtx2 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    154
    Thank you. I just checked the county website and this was posted there. Not only will alternative service take place, but the following was there too.

    01/12/2009 ANSWER AND COUNTERCLAIM/PETITION/CROSSACTION
    RESPONDENT'S ORIGINAL ANSWER, COUNTERPETITION TO MODIFY P/C RELATIONSHIP, AND COUNTERPETITION FOR ENFORCEMENT OF POSSESSION OR ACCESS

    What does that mean. Could he be trying to take her from me now?
  14. #14
    wileybunch is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Southern NV
    Posts
    3,577
    Quote Originally Posted by cmtx2 View Post
    Thank you. I just checked the county website and this was posted there. Not only will alternative service take place, but the following was there too.

    01/12/2009 ANSWER AND COUNTERCLAIM/PETITION/CROSSACTION
    RESPONDENT'S ORIGINAL ANSWER, COUNTERPETITION TO MODIFY P/C RELATIONSHIP, AND COUNTERPETITION FOR ENFORCEMENT OF POSSESSION OR ACCESS

    What does that mean. Could he be trying to take her from me now?
    01/12/2009 ANSWER AND COUNTERCLAIM/PETITION/CROSSACTION --> This looks like a title for the entire filing

    RESPONDENT'S ORIGINAL ANSWER --> He's filed an answer to your motion

    COUNTERPETITION TO MODIFY P/C RELATIONSHIP --> He's filed his own motion to modify the parent/child relationship, it looks like, which sounds like your state's terms for custody and/or visitation

    AND COUNTERPETITION FOR ENFORCEMENT OF POSSESSION OR ACCESS --> This sounds like it could a filing about contempt, that you are keeping daughter from him
  15. #15
    cmtx2 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    154
    Quote Originally Posted by wileybunch View Post
    01/12/2009 ANSWER AND COUNTERCLAIM/PETITION/CROSSACTION --> This looks like a title for the entire filing

    RESPONDENT'S ORIGINAL ANSWER --> He's filed an answer to your motion

    COUNTERPETITION TO MODIFY P/C RELATIONSHIP --> He's filed his own motion to modify the parent/child relationship, it looks like, which sounds like your state's terms for custody and/or visitation

    AND COUNTERPETITION FOR ENFORCEMENT OF POSSESSION OR ACCESS --> This sounds like it could a filing about contempt, that you are keeping daughter from him
    I emailed my attorney this as well and she states that she couldn't yet access the info online to see what he's attempting. I have a feeling that since I have been looking for employment in Austin, that he may try to make it hard for me to move. I also think that he's fighting to keep standard posession.

    He told the CPS investigator that he doesn't want custody, he just wants to retain standard posession so I hope if the investigator has to testify, he will remember telling me this and hearing it from my ex.

    Again, because my ex wasn't able to get served, my attorney told me that I don't know that he is here and it could be his parents trying to utilize the visitation. I denied them last Wednesday not only because they have never in 8 years tried to visit her on Wednesday, but no one called and we were at my daughters religious class since she is working towards her sacraments.

    Mind you that my exes mom is well aware of where we would be, that the class starts at 5:45, and I know this for a fact since she is the principal of the Catholic Schools and has attended every class with us up until last Wednesday. She's playing games.

    Any advice or just continue to wait and tell you what my attorney says? Thanks.

Similar Threads

  1. Can this even be reported?
    By breezymom in forum Domestic Violence & Abuse
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-20-2012, 12:18 PM
  2. What can be reported?
    By sod124 in forum Consumer Bankruptcy
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-11-2004, 04:44 PM
  3. Should this be reported to CPS?
    By Jenni_Pooh2 in forum Domestic Violence & Abuse
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 02-11-2004, 01:29 PM
  4. When is BK reported?
    By gr8minds in forum Consumer Bankruptcy
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 10-01-2003, 04:18 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.