I want to modify a decree...

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

I will do English! I was the first in my high school to EVER get a PERFECT ACT English score! Yeah me! Scared the bejeebers out of me because I was the ONLY one who didn't get their scores returned and was told to report to the office to discuss my results. After informing me they announced it to the school -- okay back before FERPA. LOL.

Well, I'll jump in and say that I live with someone who sports perfect scores in both Math & English on the SATs.

And by the way, people... remember - it's not just spelling that counts. Punctuation is important, too.

[AHA]

Originally Posted by 254lady28

I'm new to this and I'm only being honest and seeking answers, yes, not only for my benefit but for my husband primarily.

To the posts that actually tried to help me I do sincerely thank you.

For the others, I thank you too, for so honestly BASHING me for the questions and concerns I have. What kind of person YOU think I am is of no concern to me I am simply looking for a finger to point me in the right legal direction if there is one for this case. If all you can do is laugh at someones concerns maybe you should keep your opinions and advice to yourself.

Yes, from a legal standpoint I am a stranger to the situation. Just take all the I, me, we, us, and our and pretend it's my husband saying I because there is nothing that I have asked that he isn't with me on or curious to know about. However, the choices that my husband and I make contribute to OUR new family together as well as our previous families (aka marriages).

The purpose of this thread for US was to find out about which of the parents incomes from the dissolved marriage were taken into consideration when deciding child support, and if things change financially does it change? WE didn't know if it was pertinent to list the fact that my husband has not only me as a dependent but my son as well that OUR combined incomes (as well as my sons biological father) do provide for. I do have a part time job and I am in school full time for nursing.

With his ex we are the ones that try to keep the peace with both sides for the childs benefit. The ex certainly does NOT as she uses the child as a pawn to see how much she can either hurt my husband or make it more difficult for him to be a father by not comprimising with travel arrangements and costs as well as a list of other things. She is the type to go strictly by the decree but only when it benefits her. Most importantly we are concerned with the costs of travel and its difficulties.

Til death do us part as a relationship when kids involved....I'm right there with you but it's a two way street just like the marriage. There should be compromise depending on what is in the child's best interest.

Good for her is right when she set up the decree the way she did when from a legal aspect 9 times out of 10 its about who can screw who and not about what is right. We don't argue or dispute the fact that child support is a must and it isn't of main concern. But we do want our facts straight.

For the question who is he going to appoint for picking his daughter up, it would either be one of my family members like my mother/father or one of his friends that the wife knows.

Yeah, go do that face to face with a lawyer, and you'll see how far you get .

[254lady28]

As happy as I am to see the comments on this thread have taken a lighter and more fun note, I would like to say I omit half of what I have written due to the way I had phrased things. The questions I had asked I worded completely wrong. I didn't realize this until a few days later when I read back over everything on this thread.

I realize now everything that is written can be interpreted in many different ways by a variety of different people. It can be difficult choosing what is important to write and what is not. And by writing what I was thinking while thinking it, my choice of words were not right at all. When I reread things I saw how someone else would not only be confused, but how it would easily be misinterpreted what my intentions were.

I also read OG's list of rules for newbies and that gave plenty of insight. I truly am not here for a pissing match about who can outwit who, etc. I'm here for knowledge just like many of the rest.

I have recognized my mistakes on how to use this forum. Please no more drama. I will do my best to word my questions properly from here on out and not include myself in the questions when the answers do not pertain to me.

One question I may have asked but I don't think I received an answer. How much does it cost to take a decree back to court for modification on average? Or if you've been following this threads then for the concerns my husband is having with his decree? I'm sure it varies from case to case and depending on the state.....I was just wondering if anyone knew an educated guess type figure?

Also since my husband is in PA and the divorce was in TX how does he begin taking this back to court when he lives in PA?

[kimberlywrites]

Originally Posted by 254lady28

Ohiogal why are you so ugly in refrence to my questions. It's obvious you have a bias on what I'm trying to get at here. My husband is not computer savy and that is why i am on line he is beside me asking these questions...We don't make all the money in the world. We would like to be somewhat prepared for what we are getting into before he takes this back to court.



I am not pretending anything so you make the wrong assumption of what I have told you. THE POINT IS I AM TRYING TO FIND ANSWERS FOR HIM IN WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE LEGAL ISSUES HE IS PRESENTED WITH. Instead of putting me down for not phrasing something perfectly although its obvious you understand what I am getting at YOU SHOULD LEARN SOME BETTER PEOPLE SKILLS.



I am online researching these topics to better our family. Regaurdless of what you say about how much i don't matter....from the aspect of what is between him and his ex you are right. However the him and I that form our current family, I am very much a part of that everyday life and decision as you as a human being very well should know.

And ecxcuse me what is the proper term for biological father? Real dad? I don't see how one is more ignorant than the other...it is what it is...


I thought you were the one with legal knowledge..If I'm not mistaken anything in the court of law involving a minor always puts the minors best interest FIRST...not the mothers or the fathers.

If a mother will obey a divorce decree and demand a father to obide only to tweak things when they are needed for her advantage then deny him his right to have someone pick his daughter up that is legally compitent and board her on a nonstop flight straight to him that is nowhere forbidden in his decree I don't understand why a mother is able to deny a father this and instist that he must pay triple the amount necessary every time he wants to have a visit from his daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's manipulative and uncalled for.

IN THE DIVORCE DECREE IT IS NOT DESIGNATED THAT A COMPITENT ADULT MUST BE A FAMILY MEMBER.

May I ask what is the legal definition of a compitent adult?

Here is the legal definition i found off line
Competent adult--an individual eighteen years of age or older who is neither a party to the action nor an employee or a relative of a party.
at website [url=http://www.pabulletin.com/secure/data/vol29/29-22/850.html]PA Bulletin, Doc. No. 99-850[/url]

Since you looked up the definition, maybe now you'll know how to spell it.

OG is trying to warn you that if your choice of wording is incorrect on an internet forum, it will be twice as bad in a courtroom - so best to practice now.

All of her legal advice is bang on for a Texas case.

Dad moved, so why should mom pay half the travel costs - unless it was a military move, I imagine that request won't fly at all. Even then.

[254lady28]

Originally Posted by TinkerBelleLuvr

Because dad is military, the best thing he can do is get "virtual" parenting time added to the custody plan. I would have dad ask for webcam access, specified phone time. As the child gets older, instant messaging and emailing. Have dad get a long distance plan that will also allow access to the child when dad is there locally.

I didn't realize you could get a court order for something like that. My husband used to webcam with his daughter sporatically until his ex and him got into an arguement about getting names off of deeds and stuff from when they were together or something of the sort. The ex was mad so she took his privilage of webcaming away.....just like that. Because she was frustrated with him.

To me this is unfair punishment for not just my husband but their daughter as well. That's one of the things his ex has done that make me think she uses their daughter sometimes....I knwo that sounds bad but I don't know how else to phase it.

I will definately tell him about having that put in the order. He would be extatic(spelling?) to be able to webcam with her again. It really improved their relationship.

Thank you for the advice....

[kimberlywrites]

Ooops. Sorry for not reading the whole post before replying. Had I realized we ventured into drinking, my response would have been different.
Like,
How do you make slippery nipples?

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by kimberlywrites

Ooops. Sorry for not reading the whole post before replying. Had I realized we ventured into drinking, my response would have been different.
Like,
How do you make slippery nipples?

The answer to that question is NOT for a family forum.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by 254lady28

One question I may have asked but I don't think I received an answer. How much does it cost to take a decree back to court for modification on average? Or if you've been following this threads then for the concerns my husband is having with his decree? I'm sure it varies from case to case and depending on the state.....I was just wondering if anyone knew an educated guess type figure?

Also since my husband is in PA and the divorce was in TX how does he begin taking this back to court when he lives in PA?

How much it costs depends on a lot of things. He needs to call the county of the original decree and ask how much it is to file a motion to modify. He should also read the local rules and rules of civil procedure. He most likely will need to file a UCCJEA affidavit with his motion. He can do this pro se if he is willing to do his homework and the leg work but he will HAVE to make the hearings in Texas. Or he can hire a local attorney -- he would still have to make the hearings but he may not have to do most of the legwork. The costs depend on what choices he makes as well.

The suggestion of virtual visitation is a great one. He should ask for that. He should also ask that mom share transportation costs. He should ask for court ordered phone contact with the child. He might get a credit towards child support depending on how much transportation costs. MIGHT. Not guaranteed.

[254lady28]

Originally Posted by kimberlywrites

Since you looked up the definition, maybe now you'll know how to spell it.

OG is trying to warn you that if your choice of wording is incorrect on an internet forum, it will be twice as bad in a courtroom - so best to practice now.

All of her legal advice is bang on for a Texas case.

Dad moved, so why should mom pay half the travel costs - unless it was a military move, I imagine that request won't fly at all. Even then.

Yes dad is military, that's why he moved. Mom also REmarried into military and will now be moving around the world as well. Mom has recently found out she is moving to Alaska with daughter because new husband has been stationed there.

This is part I don't understand and think both parents should be responsible for travel costs. Half and half since both parents are moving around due to military. Legally I don't know what the correct answer is and probably won't know until dad takes it to court and requests motion. Just wondering if anyone has seen similar cases and what the verdict usually is.

[254lady28]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

He should also read the local rules and rules of civil procedure. He most likely will need to file a UCCJEA affidavit with his motion. He can do this pro se if he is willing to do his homework and the leg work but he will HAVE to make the hearings in Texas.

Can he find those local rules and rules of civil procedures online? I get frustrated when looking up laws and codes online it gets confusing and I usually get directed to the wrong sites. Do you have any suggestions for websites that I could find this info for him on?

What is a UCCJEA affidavit?

Pro se means represent himself right?

Other things he's gone through with his ex he's appointed a POA for him to help him in TX with things. Can he do this for a divorce case? Or would that look bad him using a POA instead of being present for this kind of matter?

His daughter is more than worth it to be there. The concern is if it's a drawn out process with multiple court dates I'm not sure how much he could be present for. Army doesn't lean much for personal affairs unless death of an immediate family member is the issue. He does have personal time saved up that he could use, but I'm not sure how much.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Let me just say this much:
Yesterday afternoon -- before OP wrote the above -- she sent me a very nice PM. She swallowed a lot of her pride and actually apologized. One that I took as sincere.

I accepted said apology and told her to stick around and learn. It is not often people swallow their pride and eat crow when called on the carpet.

Seriously - I'm thinking of starting a social group thingy here for us crow-eaters

There seems to be quite a few of us sticking around

[kimberlywrites]

I love it when we (okay, you guys) convert somebody to a proper poster. OP has done a great job.
Now, back to drinking, please.
I want some Baby Duck.

[254lady28]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Seriously - I'm thinking of starting a social group thingy here for us crow-eaters

There seems to be quite a few of us sticking around

Reading some of the posts that olders members to the forum write that are playful help to show me that their reponses to what I write aren't personal. That they aren't personally attacking me. Just what I write......

It's hard to find free anywhere now days so to the people that take the time to answer this forum and share their knowledge, my hat is off to you.

Dog did you have a rocky start on the forum or somewhere during?

[254lady28]

What makes someone a senior, junior, or just regular member?

[kimberlywrites]

It's based on the number of posts...so people like me who post a bunch of nothing can become a Senior quicker.
But really, you can tell people like me apart from the people who know what the laws are just by what and how they write. People like OhioGal who come off as abrupt are actually the smartest ones.
But then there's Dog. she's nice. And LdiJ is nice. And others.