What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ
I have not posted a thread in a long time, but it appears now is the time. Background - I am the NCP (mom) of 15 year old daughter. Have 41% of the time with her - so it is considered (in Jersey) as shared custody.
OK - my 15 year old has decided that she "hates" her stap-dad (has been her tsp dad for over 11 years) and his anger issues (which he does have). His anger is such that it can be very intimidating. He has never exploded "at" her but has many times in front of her. It is not physical, but loud words (and I know that can be even more unsettling at times). He is seeking an anger management therapist and will have his first appointment this week.
Now - the issue is that she has been crying to everyone that will listen. I have to admit that her issues are real but the drama is a bit intense (teenager/girl). She has stated (and everyone agrees - except me) that she needs some time to NOT come over so that her head can get straightened out (she is seeing a school psychologist) and that my husband can get a handle on his anger.
My issue (amongst others) is a) if I let her "wait" I am breaking the court order and she does not confront the very issues that are concerning her. If I force the court order- she becomes resentful and even more hateful.
Her father knows full well of this situation (from her) and told her he is ready to modify the court order if need be and I worry that if I do force the co-parenting time and she cries to her dad - he will haul me back to court to modify the court ordered time I have with her.
Just an fyi - about a year ago (maybe a little more) my daughter found out how her step-dad and I got together (I cheated on her dad) - I believe that this massive hatred stems from that bit of info given to her by her father's mother. But that does not change what I need to need not do today.
I have arranged schedules (for the next month) so that she can be at our house (with me andher 6 year old brother) when he is travelling...so the next month will be fine, but after that there is only so much I can do.
My family, his family and my husband all agree I need to give her time.
I have to admit - I am lost with this - it is emotional and well as legal and I am not quite sure whatis best to do legally and psychologically for her.
thank for your your help.
I have not posted a thread in a long time, but it appears now is the time. Background - I am the NCP (mom) of 15 year old daughter. Have 41% of the time with her - so it is considered (in Jersey) as shared custody.
OK - my 15 year old has decided that she "hates" her stap-dad (has been her tsp dad for over 11 years) and his anger issues (which he does have). His anger is such that it can be very intimidating. He has never exploded "at" her but has many times in front of her. It is not physical, but loud words (and I know that can be even more unsettling at times). He is seeking an anger management therapist and will have his first appointment this week.
Now - the issue is that she has been crying to everyone that will listen. I have to admit that her issues are real but the drama is a bit intense (teenager/girl). She has stated (and everyone agrees - except me) that she needs some time to NOT come over so that her head can get straightened out (she is seeing a school psychologist) and that my husband can get a handle on his anger.
My issue (amongst others) is a) if I let her "wait" I am breaking the court order and she does not confront the very issues that are concerning her. If I force the court order- she becomes resentful and even more hateful.
Her father knows full well of this situation (from her) and told her he is ready to modify the court order if need be and I worry that if I do force the co-parenting time and she cries to her dad - he will haul me back to court to modify the court ordered time I have with her.
Just an fyi - about a year ago (maybe a little more) my daughter found out how her step-dad and I got together (I cheated on her dad) - I believe that this massive hatred stems from that bit of info given to her by her father's mother. But that does not change what I need to need not do today.
I have arranged schedules (for the next month) so that she can be at our house (with me andher 6 year old brother) when he is travelling...so the next month will be fine, but after that there is only so much I can do.
My family, his family and my husband all agree I need to give her time.
I have to admit - I am lost with this - it is emotional and well as legal and I am not quite sure whatis best to do legally and psychologically for her.
thank for your your help.