Inappropriate contact / lack of supervision ...what to do ?

[mamadi]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina


Step-kids have summer visitation in NY with mom right now. We went up father's day to spend weekend with kids.
Step-daughter tells us (she is 6) that mom's boyfriends kids have been tickling her near her "peepee" (boyfriends kids are 6 and 11). She also said that even her brother is doing it (he is 8)........Dad has custody of both kids.

Anyway, we had this problem two summers ago when they came home from visiting mom but it was only with brother. We spoke to him, he spoke to his counselor about it and it's been fine ever since.

Now, step-daughter is saying it is happening again. She says she tells them to stop but they don't. She says she can't tell Eric (mom's boyfriend) because he is sleeping during the day (he works at night). Mom goes to work and leaves boyfriend in charge of the children who are obviously not being supervised........3 boys and 1 girl ....all under the age of 11.

Dad talked to mom about this right away. She kind of brushed it off and said she would talk to her boyfriends kids.

Dad spoke to step-daughter on the telephone last night and she said that two of the boys were tickling her again near her peepee. Dad tried to talk to mom again but all she said was "What day did it happen?" ....well we don't know and the little 6 year old doesn't keep track of days !! She was more concerned with the fact that dad said the children are not being supervised than with the fact that his baby is being touched inappropriately.

Is there anything we can do about this situation immediately ??
Thanks for any help

 

[stealth2]

Well, the main problem is that you have no proof of anything. I would likely speak with my attorney and ask that s/he write a strongly worded letter about the matter. Absent an attorney, Dad should write it himself and sent it CRR.

When the girl comes home, teach her how to kick the offending little boy in the nuts - the "tickling" will likely come to a swift end. Also, Dad should have a stern talk with the boy (*) about inappropriate behavior, standing up for his sister, and what the consequences of it occuring again will be.

(*) as in his son.

 

[BL]

Mom goes to work and leaves boyfriend in charge of the children who are obviously not being supervised........3 boys and 1 girl ....all under the age of 11.

While 11 is boarder line on babysitting , the fact is the one father is home .

I'd also run this by my Attorney , or raise my concerns .

If this really continues to be an issue , I'd have CPS in NY investigate your concerns about the Children . You can at Least call the 800 # and they could tell you If the concern warrant an investigation .

The children could be acting out on what the see the Adults doing , plus it's not abnormal for young kids to experiment .

 

[mamadi]

Thanks ! Those are all good suggestions. Dad has spoken to son quite sternly about this....... it's mom's boyfriends' two kids that we have no control over.

Thanks again !

 

[stealth2]

Well..... I've always told mine that it's important for them to look out for one another. Not that they should necessarily fight one another's battles, but that they should keep an eye out for each other and stand together in a united front. If the 8yo is there when his sister is being "tickled" and she's saying no and stop - he needs to either tell the other boys to cut it out or get an adult.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina


Step-kids have summer visitation in NY with mom right now. We went up father's day to spend weekend with kids.
Step-daughter tells us (she is 6) that mom's boyfriends kids have been tickling her near her "peepee" (boyfriends kids are 6 and 11). She also said that even her brother is doing it (he is 8)........Dad has custody of both kids.

Anyway, we had this problem two summers ago when they came home from visiting mom but it was only with brother. We spoke to him, he spoke to his counselor about it and it's been fine ever since.

Now, step-daughter is saying it is happening again. She says she tells them to stop but they don't. She says she can't tell Eric (mom's boyfriend) because he is sleeping during the day (he works at night). Mom goes to work and leaves boyfriend in charge of the children who are obviously not being supervised........3 boys and 1 girl ....all under the age of 11.

Dad talked to mom about this right away. She kind of brushed it off and said she would talk to her boyfriends kids.

Dad spoke to step-daughter on the telephone last night and she said that two of the boys were tickling her again near her peepee. Dad tried to talk to mom again but all she said was "What day did it happen?" ....well we don't know and the little 6 year old doesn't keep track of days !! She was more concerned with the fact that dad said the children are not being supervised than with the fact that his baby is being touched inappropriately.

Is there anything we can do about this situation immediately ??
Thanks for any help

You need to get your son back to the counselor ASAP. It was the son who did this initially 2 years ago~ And now the behavior is repeating (and now includes the boyfriend's 2 kids) There is a pattern here. The counselor can talk to your son, and likely your daughter too, and that is one way to get professional documentation that this is occuring. Be prepared for them to shift the blame to your household, since this problem originated with your son.