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  1. #1
    chloe_dawg Guest

    Question Infant custody arrangements

    What is the name of your state? Texas

    Can anyone give me information on what sort of custody arrangements are made in the case of an infant child? My child is 7 months old, and I thought I had heard that formal custody arrangements can not be made until the child is at least 1 year of age.
  2. #2
    karma1 is offline Senior Member
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    are you married?

    I'm assuming not but could be wrong-
    custody, as far as I know, can be established as soon as the child is born-
    things to consider-
    did father sign birth certificate? if not, paternity may need to be established.
    what kind of custody do you want? full legal/physical? full legal/split physical?
    is child support being paid?
    do parents live in same area-for visitation issues?

    I guess more info is needed to help you--
  3. #3
    chloe_dawg Guest
    I'm sorry that my original question was so unclear. Let me try to give more specifics. I am still in the marriage. I'm trying to find out what might happen specifically with visitation, not custody, in the event that I leave the marriage. I realize that I didn't make that very clear. My daughter (I'm the mom) is 7 months, and yes her father is named on the birth certificate. If I were to receive physical custody through a separation agreement, would the father be allowed standard visitation even though she is still a baby? When I refer to standard visitation, I mean specifically the overnight visits. Any help you can give would be great!
  4. #4
    usmcfamily is offline Senior Member
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    Since you are currently married there is actually MORE chance that he would be granted that type of visitation than if you were an unmarried couple not living together -- the reason for that is that as your husband he has been living with this child since her birth and has established a relationship with her much more deep and bonded than he would have as a father not living in the home with you (ie a b/f or ex). In most cases where there is not overnight visits granted from the beginning it is because that relationship has not yet been built -- but your child and her father HAVE that relationship.
  5. #5
    haiku is offline Senior Member
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    My child had overnite visits with my ex (we were unmarried) from the time of separation at 4 months old.
    "It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men." Frederick Douglas
  6. #6
    CMSC is offline Senior Member
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    Originally posted by haiku
    My child had overnite visits with my ex (we were unmarried) from the time of separation at 4 months old.

    wow! That is actually great to hear, I have heard of courts not allowing this. Did it work out well? I am always wondering about breast feeding and if that would play any part in the over night visits or extended visits?

    Oh, I am stalking you sorry! I am trying to control my obsession, really I am!


    Here is a weekly visitation schedule in Texas for children under age three [url]http://www.divorce-bankrupt.com/divorce/visitation.html[/url]

    It reads down at the bottom:

    "WEEKLY VISITATION SCHEDULE FOR CHILD UNDER THE AGE OF THREE YEARS

    AT ALL TIMES MUTUALLY AGREED UPON BY THE PARTIES and failing agreement, the Non-Custodial Parent shall have possession of the minor child under the age of three years as follows:

    1. Each Monday from 3PM until 6PM or from 6PM until 8PM
    2. Each Wednesday from, 3PM until 6PM or from 6PM until 8PM
    3. Each Friday from 3PM until 6PM or from 6PM until 8PM
    4. Each Saturday from 3PM until 12PM the following Sunday or Each Saturday from 9AM until 7PM.
    5. Each year on the child's birthday from 1PM until 3PM or from 6PM until 8PM.
    6. Holidays:
    CHRISTMAS: in even numbered years, the NCP shall have possession of the child from 9AM until 7PM on December 26th, and in odd numbered years the NCP shall have possession of the child from 9AM until 7PM on December 24th.
    THANKSGIVING: in odd numbered years, the NCP shall have possession of the child from 9AM until 7PM on Thanksgiving Day."
  7. #7
    nailtech is offline Senior Member
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    My daughters sister in law has a 3 years "NO over night visits" order in place cause she breast fed.. might be other reasons involved as well that I'm not aware of...
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    153.254. Child Less Than Three Years of Age
    (a) The court shall render an order appropriate under the circumstances for possession of a child less than three years of age.
    (b) The court shall render a prospective order to take effect on the child's third birthday, which presumptively will be the standard possession order.
    Added by Acts 1995, 74th Leg., ch. 20, 1, eff. April 20, 1995.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    you can copy and past the link into a browser to read the full Texas codes on custody orders...

    [url]http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/fa/fa0015300.html#fa029.153.137[/url]


    hope that helps...
  8. #8
    haiku is offline Senior Member
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    Ryry you are SCARING me girl!!! (just kidding!)

    I did not breast feed, so that was never an issue. I was a nervous mother and of course was freaked out a bit at first. We did go through negotiations, but the result of overnights was inevitable according to my lawyer. he had weds to thurs evenings per his work schedule. and a week in winter and a week in summer, and of course alternate holidays. At age 5 we were supposed to renegotiate for schooling.

    for all that WE didn't get along, there was really no reason the dad shouldn't have a right to overnights, and I relaxed shortly into the arrangement.

    My husband also, in a different state, had overnites from the time of his divorce, when his youngest was under a year, he was clueless but he learned how to care for the baby also. No breastfeeding and mom was willing to do it, I have no idea what the state would have granted had they had to negotiate.

    looking back on my experience and my husbands I think those texas guidelines are very restrictive....why shouldn't dads have overnites?
    "It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men." Frederick Douglas
  9. #9
    nailtech is offline Senior Member
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    it's not a given, its just when the mother presses the issue... she has to fight for that order to take place... breast feeding is the only issue I can think of... but I'm sure theres more..
  10. #10
    karma1 is offline Senior Member
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    looking at this from a practical perspective....

    if you were still together, odds are, the father would be caring for the child, alone, at one time or another-for an entire evening/night or at least helping out to care for the child, so, why not overnights?
    Also, by the time anything actually goes to court, say from date of filing, 2 or 3 or more months will pass and the child will be somewhat older--and more months can pass if there are continuances----child will be older still.
    In the mean time, I would encourage as much visitation as possible with the father and be available for questions, etc....he might have.....share as much information about the child you can so father can be prepared for things....this way, when the court order is made, you can be more assured of your babies care while he has visitation, whether is be overnites or not..
    just some thoughts.
  11. #11
    nailtech is offline Senior Member
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    quote from Haiku ~looking back on my experience and my husbands I think those texas guidelines are very restrictive....why shouldn't dads have overnites?~

    some men cant take care of themselves little lone a baby... lol.

    in my little sisters case the baby was a premie (she's a year old and only weights about 15 lbs still... so she needs extra care... she needs medicine that the (21 year old butthead) father cant stay sober long enough to give her..
    so he only comes to visit her and no over night visits...

    other than breast feeding I dont know why my daughters sister in law wont let hers go for overnight visits... she's two already.... and I'm sure she's weined..
  12. #12
    usmcfamily is offline Senior Member
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    I am sorry but I happen to think that fathers can be JUST as capable as mothers to care for a child regardless of the child's age -- in the case that was cited with the drunken father I would like to point out that there are also many mothers who choose alcohol/drugs over staying sober to care for their children. I am sure that the intent of the post was not to imply incomptence of all males ...... but I think it is important to remember that a Y chromosome does not render one unable to care for an infant.....
  13. #13
    nailtech is offline Senior Member
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    I said "Some"......

    but men do lack a maternal instinct... and so do some women I agree.... guess it might be a southern male macho man thing.. I dont know... I have only met a few, very few men who dont gag at changing a poopy diaper...
  14. #14
    CMSC is offline Senior Member
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    lol nailtech. I gag changing poopy diapers!d Hubby is great at it!LOL

    I agree that most men are capable of taking care of a child but I will tell you, I can understand some concern. If a man doesn't get up in the middle of the night when the baby is crying (mostly because he knows we will) then it worries you a little when you are seperated, you may think, "who is going to hear the baby" etc. These concerns can be laid to rest by observing how your husband is around the baby now.

    I will say that I am a little uneasy giving advice to someone who is checking out all options BEFORE she decides to leave! Seems a little sad to me. Maybe you should all go into counceling, does your spouse know you are having second thoughts?
  15. #15
    nailtech is offline Senior Member
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    Ok so I guess I'm just one of them women who can do anything better than any man.....hehehe..

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