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infant visitation

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C

CA stumped

Guest
I'm a single mom and still nursing a 4 month baby.The father wants to keep the baby overnight on the weekends. What happens with visitations with infants at this age???? Any advise?:confused:
 


S

smh33

Guest
If you were still married or living together and had to go out of town over night....what would you have done?

That said, with nursing...you really should avoid using an artificial nipple for atleast 6 months if possible. Try to explain nursing to Dad...you should be able to find plenty of stuff on net that explains nursing, nipples,pumping, etc..a lot depends on how you do it..if you use daycare & pump anyway, well let Dad try 1 night..give him written instructs, where u will be, a phone #...leave nothing up to him to figure out. If you nurse only...try working out some visitation around feedings...again explain reasons to Dad, if you show proof(internet info) he is more likely to believe real reason, not just you trying to keep him away. He may be more accepting if you are willing to go ahead and agree to some type of visitation plan to start at specified time in the future...you know, if he feels sure he will get it (visit) in future may be more willing to give up some now so as not to interfere with feedings. Good Luck
 
J

july_child

Guest
Breastfeeding

Hello CA Stumped. I nursed my daughter for the first year. I went back to work after 6 months. Once my daughter started on baby food, she went over her father's house for 5-8 hours once every 2 weeks. He could have gotten her once a week for that time but chose not to. When she was about 9-10 months, she would spend one night with him and at 1 year, she would spend the weekend. As you will see when you start pumping, your milk will be less and less that's why you should limit the time pumping and be with your child as much as possible to nurse and keep your milk up when the child is very young and depends on the milk the most. I agree with smh about getting the father's child more literature about breastfeeding. It's the best thing you can do for your child. Good luck.
 
D

deefran

Guest
CA stumped said:
I'm a single mom and still nursing a 4 month baby.The father wants to keep the baby overnight on the weekends. What happens with visitations with infants at this age???? Any advise?:confused:
If the father is going for court ordered visitations...the courts usually do not order overnight visitations for infants until the child reaches at least 1 year of age....especially if said child is nursing.
If it is not court ordered visitations, but a simple request, it is at your discretion...but as SMH has said...switching from breast to bottle (back and forth) can cause what is called "nipple confusion" and infant will have difficult time continuing to nurse...but from what health care professionals and my own lactation consultant have said..it is okay to switch back and forth between breast and bottle after 6 to 8 weeks of age...just use a bottle which closely resembles the mother's own breast...Advent bottles are the best brand for this...my children adjusted very well to these. Remember a father's bond to his child is just as important in the first year of that child's life as a mother's. Good Luck to you.
 
C

CA stumped

Guest
What I did was get prior approval for my baby to be with me at all times while I was away on business for four days. I have research info on breastfeeding & have also spoken to him regarding it. I also periodically send him e-mail msgs from various websites, he himself has registered to baby websites. I'll be going back to work at the end of this month, but will be job sharing until August. My goal is to nurse until then. My sitter is only 5-10 minutes away from my job site,so I will be visiting them to nurse. I have on too many occasions gone out of my way for dad to visit with his baby(his job consumes alot of his day & he is always on the go). At times I have spent the night at his home(seperate bedrooms him & I) in order for him to see and visit baby. He no longer wants me to stay the night(I can Understand), that it isn't a package deal. I feel I have gone beyond the call of duty for dad to see & visit with the baby, he has called everyday since the baby was born to see how baby is doing, except during the time he is upset with me. I think he feels I will try to use the baby against him or try to interfere with his bonding. I have never given him any reason for him to think or believe such a thing. His ex has done some evil things in the past with his other two children and she continues to play games with him regarding his kids and his visitations with them.
 

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