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Informing of paternity

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Monsoonseason

Junior Member
WA state. My husband and I were separated for awhile and during that time I became pregnant. My husband and I decided to work things out shortly before I found out and decided to raise the child as his. My question is: Do I legally have to inform the biological father of the child's existence and if he were to find out what are the chances of him gaining visitation to the child (I do not consider him to be financially, or otherwise, stable)?
 


SESmama

Member
You picked him.

If he finds out he has up until the child is 18 to come in and establish paternity. At any given time between now and 18 years of age the father will be given every chance to be a parent to the child. The courts don't care about your thoughts on whether he is suitable parent material. You told the courts he was fine when you carried the child to term.

I know seniors, pulled from all those old posts on the very same subject.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
WA state. My husband and I were separated for awhile and during that time I became pregnant. My husband and I decided to work things out shortly before I found out and decided to raise the child as his. My question is: Do I legally have to inform the biological father of the child's existence and if he were to find out what are the chances of him gaining visitation to the child (I do not consider him to be financially, or otherwise, stable)?
I can just about guarantee that if you are not honest with everyone involved, including the biological father AND the child, it will come back to bite you in the behind later. If I had a dollar for every case that has been posted on these forums, that came back to bite someone in the butt, I would be a wealthy woman.

Legally, your husband becomes the legal father by default. You are not under any legal obligation to inform the biological father. If he does find out, he is legally allowed to file to establish paternity and visitation pretty much until the child becomes a legal adult. There have been judges that refused to disrupt teenager's lives, but that is not really the norm.

Once again, be honest with everyone or risk serious issues down the road.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
WA state. My husband and I were separated for awhile and during that time I became pregnant. My husband and I decided to work things out shortly before I found out and decided to raise the child as his. My question is: Do I legally have to inform the biological father of the child's existence and if he were to find out what are the chances of him gaining visitation to the child (I do not consider him to be financially, or otherwise, stable)?
Well... Your husband will *legally* be the child's father. HOWEVER your child's actual DNA father will have the right to establish paternity until kiddo is 18. I can almost guarantee that he will find out. And yes, he will be able to file for parenting time. You will also be able to file for support. Once paternity is established. And not back to birth.

One thing to consider.... Do you not think that this child has the right - and that you have the responsibility to him/her - to know who their biological father is? What happens if, at say 25, this child needs an organ transplant? How will you explain that neither you nor "Dad" are matches, but a stranger is? ('cause don't tell me that you would not move heaven and earth to save your child.)

You played a game - time to ante up.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Well... Your husband will *legally* be the child's father. HOWEVER your child's actual DNA father will have the right to establish paternity until kiddo is 18. I can almost guarantee that he will find out. And yes, he will be able to file for parenting time. You will also be able to file for support. Once paternity is established. And not back to birth.

One thing to consider.... Do you not think that this child has the right - and that you have the responsibility to him/her - to know who their biological father is? What happens if, at say 25, this child needs an organ transplant? How will you explain that neither you nor "Dad" are matches, but a stranger is? ('cause don't tell me that you would not move heaven and earth to save your child.)

You played a game - time to ante up.
Best thing is that the actual biological father will be able to file for CUSTODY and even child support from OP. Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants for OP?
 

Monsoonseason

Junior Member
Well... Your husband will *legally* be the child's father. HOWEVER your child's actual DNA father will have the right to establish paternity until kiddo is 18. I can almost guarantee that he will find out. And yes, he will be able to file for parenting time. You will also be able to file for support. Once paternity is established. And not back to birth.

One thing to consider.... Do you not think that this child has the right - and that you have the responsibility to him/her - to know who their biological father is? What happens if, at say 25, this child needs an organ transplant? How will you explain that neither you nor "Dad" are matches, but a stranger is? ('cause don't tell me that you would not move heaven and earth to save your child.)

You played a game - time to ante up.
Yes, thank you. Although financial support is not wanted or needed, my husband and I are concerned about doing what is right for the child. My husband feels we need to inform the biological father and I guess I just needed to hear some other opinions and be informed of the legal rights of all parties involved.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Yes, thank you. Although financial support is not wanted or needed, my husband and I are concerned about doing what is right for the child. My husband feels we need to inform the biological father and I guess I just needed to hear some other opinions and be informed of the legal rights of all parties involved.
It sounds to me like your husband has a decent head on his shoulders. I'm astonished that you think that lying to the child might somehow be "right" for the child.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Yes, thank you. Although financial support is not wanted or needed, my husband and I are concerned about doing what is right for the child. My husband feels we need to inform the biological father and I guess I just needed to hear some other opinions and be informed of the legal rights of all parties involved.
The child deserves to know who their actual, biological, parents are. For all sorts of reasons. Do right by the child.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
The child deserves to know who their actual, biological, parents are. For all sorts of reasons. Do right by the child.
I would also say that the actual, biological parent of the child deserves to know of his child.
The more I mull this one over, the lower my opinion of this poster becomes.
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
I would also say that the actual, biological parent of the child deserves to know of his child.
The more I mull this one over, the lower my opinion of this poster becomes.
We've seen the ending of this story many, many times.

Mom & Dad split up, Dad wants custody, Mom gets bio Dad involved to try and prevent Legal Dad from having any sort of rights to the child.

We've seen it all before, and too frequently.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
We've seen the ending of this story many, many times.

Mom & Dad split up, Dad wants custody, Mom gets bio Dad involved to try and prevent Legal Dad from having any sort of rights to the child.

We've seen it all before, and too frequently.
Or...mom and dad split up, mom gets primary custody and dad does not want to pay child support because its not really his child even though he is the legal dad. That one happens about as often.
 

paddywakk

Member
WA state. My husband and I were separated for awhile and during that time I became pregnant. My husband and I decided to work things out shortly before I found out and decided to raise the child as his. My question is: Do I legally have to inform the biological father of the child's existence and if he were to find out what are the chances of him gaining visitation to the child (I do not consider him to be financially, or otherwise, stable)?
Before you contact him, I'd get a paternity test for your spouse just in case.
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
Or...mom and dad split up, mom gets primary custody and dad does not want to pay child support because its not really his child even though he is the legal dad. That one happens about as often.
Fair point.
 

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