inquiring to change joint to full custody to myself and husband

[cherylbfranklin]

What is the name of your state? California
I've been divorced about 6 years now and have remarried. Ex has never payed any child support, though I never pursued it. Mainly, I want to know how to go about changing the joint custody I have on file, to full custody to myself and my husband since we've been the one's supporting him anyway for how many years. Any advice?What is the name of your state?

 

[tigger22472]

What is the name of your state? California
I've been divorced about 6 years now and have remarried. Ex has never payed any child support, though I never pursued it. Mainly, I want to know how to go about changing the joint custody I have on file, to full custody to myself and my husband since we've been the one's supporting him anyway for how many years. Any advice?What is the name of your state?

You would have to file through the courts and prove why dad should not have a say in this child's life. YOU may be granted full custody if you can prove this but your husband will not... he is not party to this, nor is he one of the parents of the child... he is a legal stranger in the eyes of a court and if you go in there with the idea that he should be granted custody you will surely lose. On top of this... not paying support is not going to be enough for this to be granted. You say you have never pursued it.. does this mean that dad has not been ordered to pay it?

 

[GrowUp!]

What is the name of your state? California
I've been divorced about 6 years now and have remarried. Ex has never payed any child support, though I never pursued it. Mainly, I want to know how to go about changing the joint custody I have on file, to full custody to myself and my husband since we've been the one's supporting him anyway for how many years. Any advice?What is the name of your state?

Umm...you have not pursued child support, therefore, you have no right playing the "We've been the ones supporting" card. Child support is not due unless there is a court order for it.

 

[cherylbfranklin]

Not looking for cookies- just info!

Obviously child support isn't an issue. That's why there's never been one ordered. But like I said I'm mainly looking for any info on what I need to know about changing a joint custody to a full physical custody to myself, and if possible to by husband. I only mention him because I'd like to know how he can be legally responsible for my son in case something were to happen to me since it's in my sons best interest.

 

[Silverplum]

Obviously child support isn't an issue. That's why there's never been one ordered.

Then you have no right to complain.

But like I said I'm mainly looking for any info on what I need to know about changing a joint custody to a full physical custody to myself,

File with the court. Convince the court.

and if possible to by husband.

Not gonna happen. He's a legal stranger. Can't have "custody" or anything like it.

I only mention him because I'd like to know how he can be legally responsible for my son in case something were to happen to me since it's in my sons best interest.

Actually, the only reason you mentioned it is because you didn't do a SEARCH as required by TOS. A hundred moms per week come online and ask this q. You ain't special or unique, that's for sure.

 

[tylersmom]

Does your exhusband see the child? I may be wrong on this, but I'm pretty sure that unless your exhusband gives up all rights to the child and your new husband adopts the child, you aren't going to get what you want. Why would you want to cut the ex-husband out of his child's life anyway?

 

[nextwife]

What is dad's involvement with the child? Does he have a visitaion schedule? Exercise vistation?

 

[cherylbfranklin]

not trying to cut ex out

Does your exhusband see the child? I may be wrong on this, but I'm pretty sure that unless your exhusband gives up all rights to the child and your new husband adopts the child, you aren't going to get what you want. Why would you want to cut the ex-husband out of his child's life anyway?

I'm not trying to cut him out of my son's life at all, in fact I encourage him to spend time with my son more often than he does. Here's the deal: the joint custody was done so my son could come and go as he does betweent he both of us parents not through the court. Though my son sees his dad sometimes, he resides with me, I take care of all his medical, educational needs and so forth. So I'd just like to change the custody on file from joint to sole. I've just started researching this, so I don't know much, which is why I'm trying this out.

 

[cherylbfranklin]

What is dad's involvement with the child? Does he have a visitaion schedule? Exercise vistation?

There's no schedule. Whenever he wants to see my son, he'll call. He moved back into town recently so I've encouraged him to spend more time with my son when possible. Only stipulation I give him is to call me ahead of time, not just that morning or the night before. I explained that it's only fair to our son that the time with him is planned out for him, not " oh I was gonna do something this weekend but something came up, can I pick him up" type thing. I just don't like the idea anymore of having on file "joint custody" when there's nothing "joint" about it at all. I kinda feel like he only sees our son when convenient for him even though I've made it more than easy for him to be more involved.

 

[mommyof4]

You do need to understand at least one thing. Even if a court does grant modification of the custody order and awards you primary custody, that will have no effect on what rights (or lack thereof, in this case) your new husband would have in regards to custody should you kick over.

If something happens to you, DAD will have custody of y'alls child, especially as there is a viable relationship between them, as it stands.

 

[mommyof4]

There's no schedule. Whenever he wants to see my son, he'll call. He moved back into town recently so I've encouraged him to spend more time with my son when possible. Only stipulation I give him is to call me ahead of time, not just that morning or the night before. I explained that it's only fair to our son that the time with him is planned out for him, not " oh I was gonna do something this weekend but something came up, can I pick him up" type thing. I just don't like the idea anymore of having on file "joint custody" when there's nothing "joint" about it at all. I kinda feel like he only sees our son when convenient for him even though I've made it more than easy for him to be more involved.

For the sake of your son, this is what you should be doing, no matter WHAT the court order states.

Just being unhappy with the legal terminology of the court order is not a reason for modification. You are going to have to show the court how it is in the best interest of your son to modify the order. As Dad has recently moved back and is once again living in close proximity to his son, you're going to have a very uphill battle on your hands.

 

[nextwife]

pehaps you and your husband can consider having your husband adopt the child. thats the only way your husband will have any legal rights.

???? Dad is involved with the child. The poster can "consider it" all she wants, but her husband can't adopt.

 

[CJane]

Ya know, I'm not sure you (OP) even really understand the difference between joint custody and sole custody - especially as it applies to your situation.

It doesn't sound to me like there's really any problem with the current arrangement except that Dad doesn't see the child as often as you'd like him to - something that MAYBE could be 'fixed' with a clearer order establishing a set visitation schedule since you've stated that you want him to 'plan' his time w/the child better.

You having sole custody wouldn't remove any of the father's rights to time with the child, nor would it automatically confer YOUR rights to your husband if you were to die or become incapacitated. What you're really wanting, from the sounds of it, is for your husband to adopt your son, and that's not going to happen as long as Dad has ANY sort of relationship with the child.