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seniorjudge

Senior Member
Q: Why is hiring an investigator considered medeling?

A: It isn't.


Q: If you are concerned about your child?

A: This is not a complete sentence.
 

waitinMd

Member
I was told today that it was medeling to hire an investigator.

I went back to court for a modification of custody.

My ex was told by the judge that she was not to have the child around her current boyfriend. She admitted to smoking pot in court, and to smoking pot With her mother.

The judge said the baby could not be around the bf, or drugs, and he gave the baby back to my ex. I had her for a month because of temporary custody ordered by this same judge.

The judge told me ex to move back in with her mother. I don't understand this! She just admitted to smoking pot with her mother!

Then my ex gave me today and the rest of the weekend, so she could go out with her bf, after not seeing the baby for a month!


How can I prove there are drugs and prove she will go right back to the bf??
 

Mbarr77

Member
waitinMd said:
I was told today that it was medeling to hire an
investigator.


Who told you it was medling??


I went back to court for a modification of custody.

My ex was told by the judge that she was not to have the child around her current boyfriend. She admitted to smoking pot in court, and to smoking pot With her mother.

The judge said the baby could not be around the bf, or drugs, and he gave the baby back to my ex. I had her for a month because of temporary custody ordered by this same judge.

The judge told me ex to move back in with her mother. I don't understand this! She just admitted to smoking pot with her mother!

Then my ex gave me today and the rest of the weekend, so she could go out with her bf, after not seeing the baby for a month!


How can I prove there are drugs and prove she will go right back to the bf??
Was it the ex that told you it was medling? Because of course she would feel that way.
 

waitinMd

Member
No, it was my lawyer.

We went to court because I had the baby EVERY DAY except 2 days from the 4th of November until today.

I was asking for a modification of custody because:
-drugs
-violent boyfriend who hit her and threw her and my child out
-ignored the baby's shot - never took her to the doctor for 4 months and lied to me about it
-never provided food/formula stating she couldn't afford it
- lied about working; she would drop the baby off and NOT go to work;used the baby as an excuse to miss work
-lied about where she was living; moving back and forth with the baby several times
- not giving me phone numbers and blocking her calls from me
the list goes on and on....

How can I prove she will go back over the bf's house or drugs if I can't get a lawyer?
 

Mbarr77

Member
waitinMd said:
No, it was my lawyer.

We went to court because I had the baby EVERY DAY except 2 days from the 4th of November until today.

I was asking for a modification of custody because:
-drugs
-violent boyfriend who hit her and threw her and my child out
-ignored the baby's shot - never took her to the doctor for 4 months and lied to me about it
-never provided food/formula stating she couldn't afford it
- lied about working; she would drop the baby off and NOT go to work;used the baby as an excuse to miss work
-lied about where she was living; moving back and forth with the baby several times
- not giving me phone numbers and blocking her calls from me
the list goes on and on....

How can I prove she will go back over the bf's house or drugs if I can't get a lawyer?
From the sounds of it your lawyer didn't say that you CAN'T get an investigator, they simply stated they felt it would be medling. Although, I would never suggest you go against the advice of your lawyer, you need to make the decision that is best for you child. If you feel that the mother is still doing drugs around the child, and the child is in danger then you need to make that decision of whether or not to get one.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
i understand why you were told it would be meddling to hire a PI to follow MOM. The courts main concern is the child. I don't think there would be any problems associated with hiring a PI to follow mom around when the CHILD is with her though.
 

waitinMd

Member
I don"t understand why the lawyer didn"t mention that my ex's house is violent also. She has been kicked out of there by her mothers bf...
 

MrsK

Senior Member
You can hire a PI. In fact, that could help your case in court if you can prove she is doing something illegal, or taking the child around the BF. Its not illegal to have a PI follow someone.

Maybe its just me but I think I'd get a new lawyer. If you know the mom is using drugs & the lawyer isnt giving you the best advice to protect your child....well, that would make me, as a parent, worried.
 

Mbarr77

Member
waitinMd said:
I don"t understand why the lawyer didn"t mention that my ex's house is violent also. She has been kicked out of there by her mothers bf...
Did you ask your lawyer why this information was left out?
 

MrsK

Senior Member
waitinMd said:
I don"t understand why the lawyer didn"t mention that my ex's house is violent also. She has been kicked out of there by her mothers bf...
Yeah, see....I think I'd def. get a new layer who is interested in helping you protect your child.
 

CJane

Senior Member
waitinMd said:
I was asking for a modification of custody because:
-drugs

Did you have PROOF of drug use - particularly around the child?

-violent boyfriend who hit her and threw her and my child out

Did the BF injure the child?

-ignored the baby's shot - never took her to the doctor for 4 months and lied
to me about it

Did the child need to go to the doctor? My middle child has been to the dr about 5 times in her life, and she's nearly 6. Which vaccination was missed and by how much?

-never provided food/formula stating she couldn't afford it

Was she starving the child, or not providing food/formula while the child was in your care? Was she ordered to provide formula/food to you?

- lied about working; she would drop the baby off and NOT go to work;used the baby as an excuse to miss work

So?

-lied about where she was living; moving back and forth with the baby several times

Did you file contempt if she was moving w/out notifying you?

- not giving me phone numbers and blocking her calls from me
the list goes on and on....

Is she ordered to provide you w/phone numbers or to take calls from you? 99% of the time, I don't answer the phone when my ex calls. I don't feel obligated to speak to him.

How can I prove she will go back over the bf's house or drugs if I can't get an investigator?
The ONLY thing that an investigator would be able to provide you with is possible proof that she's taking the child to the BF's house/having the BF around her when the child is with her. It would be nearly impossible to prove the drug use w/out testing of mom and even then it might not be enough if you can't prove the use took place when the child was present.
 

waitinMd

Member
I have proof of drugs, I dated her. I know people who buy from her father/grandfather and they are being watched by the police.

the judge took the baby away from my ex because of the bf kicking them out while the baby was sick, my ex's bf abused my ex.

all the vaccinations were missed.

my ex was court ordered to provide her own formula, i was ordered to provide mine. she said she could not afford formula.

I did not file contempt per my lawyer

She was ordered to provide home/work phone numbers
 
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