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Irresponsible Father

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I

IowaMom1975

Guest
What is the name of your state? Iowa

Here is my situation:

-I got pregnant at the age of 18 (1993), yes, out of wedlock.
-He ended our relationship when i was 8 months pregnant.
-I gave our son the father's last name and the father signed the birth certificate.
-I was on welfare the first year of my son's life. Because of that, the state made the father pay child support, the first 50.00 going to me and the difference going back to the state.
-He still pays child supprt through the state but it all comes to me now.
We have never gone through the court system for custody or visitation.
-I care for our son 96% of the time in a given year, paying for everything associated with raising a child with the exception of what I get in child support, which I get 1/3 of what he should be paying.
-The father sees his son very seldom as well as that entire side of the family, so when they call to say they are coming up, my son gets VERY excited, and some of the time it is a huge let-down for him because they cancel at the last minute.
(on a lighter note, my son has had a great father-figure for the past 6 years now :) )

Here is my idea:

I want to establish custody and visitation through the courts so the father meets his obligations to his son. In dealing with the father's irresponsibility for the past 10 years, I feel just fine saying if the father makes no attempt to see his son on a regular basis then he should not see him at all.

Here are my questions:

What steps do I need to take in order to establish custody and visitation? Are my rights different because we were never married and the child is considered 'illegitimate'? Do I even have a case?
 


Hmm

You probably don't have much of a case since he's been paying child support. You can't make him see your son if he doesn't want to. And if he has his father's last name, it will probably have to stay that way unless his father agrees to have it changed. As far as him calling to say he is coming to visit...don't tell your son about it. If he shows up it can just be a surprise.
 

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