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Joining Military and May Need to Relocate Out of State

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49erFan

Junior Member
What is the name of your state: CA

My fiance and I are planning on getting married before I join the Navy. She has a 9 year old daughter from a previous relationship, though they were never married. The 3 of us have been living together as a family for the last 7 years. When her daughter was 4, she was awarded custody of her daughter by the court and a visitation agreement was arranged that gave the father visitation every other weekend, every other major holiday and about half of the summer.


After I join the Navy, I'll be stationed at a base that may very well be out of the state, or possibly the country. The father takes advantage of his visitation rights, but he does not pay any child support. How difficult will it be to relocate given the fact that the current visitation agreement (every other weekend) will not work if we wind up out of state?



He has never been a joy to deal with. In fact, we offered the current visitation schedule many times only to have him decline it before making us take it to court, and he ended up with the same thing anyway. My guess is that he will fight it if he can.


We currently have her enrolled in private school, something we would like to continue. I am currently unemployed and looking for work and having a hard time keeping up the tuition payments on my fiance's salary. In the part of California we live in, jobs are very scarce and the military would provide financial and educational benefits for all 3 of us.


Any and all information would be helpful. Thanks in advance.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
Mom can give custody over to Dad. Mom can visit!

(problem solved!) And please do yourself a favor - read the sticky post at the top of the forum and edit your post accordingly. You'll thank me for it.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Tell Mom to set up her own account so she may ask her own legal questions about her legal situation and her daughter.


What is the name of your state: CA

My fiance and I are planning on getting married before I join the Navy. She has a 9 year old daughter from a previous relationship, though they were never married. The 3 of us have been living together as a family for the last 7 years. When her daughter was 4, she was awarded custody of her daughter by the court and a visitation agreement was arranged that gave the father visitation every other weekend, every other major holiday and about half of the summer.


After I join the Navy, I'll be stationed at a base that may very well be out of the state, or possibly the country. The father takes advantage of his visitation rights, but he does not pay any child support. How difficult will it be to relocate given the fact that the current visitation agreement (every other weekend) will not work if we wind up out of state?



He has never been a joy to deal with. In fact, we offered the current visitation schedule many times only to have him decline it before making us take it to court, and he ended up with the same thing anyway. My guess is that he will fight it if he can.


We currently have her enrolled in private school, something we would like to continue. I am currently unemployed and looking for work and having a hard time keeping up the tuition payments on my fiance's salary. In the part of California we live in, jobs are very scarce and the military would provide financial and educational benefits for all 3 of us.


Any and all information would be helpful. Thanks in advance.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 

49erFan

Junior Member
That's a rude response

What a cold hearted pointless answer. If we wanted to give custody to her father I wouldn't have bothered to post in the first place. Problem NOT solved. I was under the impression that this board was created to help people who have serious legal questions. Why didn't you just tell me to break up with my fiance? That would have "solved" the problem too huh?
By the way, I did read the sticky post. Maybe you should read the part about being rude.
 
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49erFan

Junior Member
To TinkerBelleLuvr

No, child support is not court ordered. We decided back when custody was established that we would not persue child support because we made good money back then and didn't want to hassle with it. Since the economy has turned, however, we have tried to get him to start paying something. We were hoping he would agree out of a feeling of obligation.


Over the last few months, he has paid about $100 per month. We spend about $80 per month in gas just driving to drop her off and pick her up so that he can have his visitation. The tuition and child care costs alone are $650 per month.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
You don't get to decide who answers your post/s.

It doesn't matter what you write, or to whom. Your rudeness is not tolerable.

To TinkerBelleLuvr
No, child support is not court ordered. We decided back when custody was established that we would not persue child support because we made good money back then and didn't want to hassle with it. Since the economy has turned, however, we have tried to get him to start paying something. We were hoping he would agree out of a feeling of obligation.


Over the last few months, he has paid about $100 per month. We spend about $80 per month in gas just driving to drop her off and pick her up so that he can have his visitation. The tuition and child care costs alone are $650 per month.
A bright guy would've grasped by now that there is no legal "WE." :rolleyes:
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Look.

You aren't even married to Mom yet, and you're hear asking about taking the child away from her father. You are also a legal stranger to this child. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth.

If Daddy is actually having contact with his child, the chances of Mommy relocating the child from state to state become lower. The chances of Mommy relocating the child out of the country are virtually nil.

Hence the PLAUSIBLE suggestion of transferring custody. So, if Mommy doesn't want to do that, she needs to come up with an incredibly generous long-distance parenting plan AND be prepared to provided ALL transportation costs associated with Dad's visitation.

Daddy will have the opportunity to fight at every step to stop the relocation/s.

Now take your attitude back, because it wasn't necessary. The law IS cold - it doesn't coddle you and it doesn't cover you in nice warm fuzzy blankets.
 
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Proserpina

Senior Member
No, child support is not court ordered. We decided back when custody was established that we would not persue child support because we made good money back then and didn't want to hassle with it. Since the economy has turned, however, we have tried to get him to start paying something. We were hoping he would agree out of a feeling of obligation.


Over the last few months, he has paid about $100 per month. We spend about $80 per month in gas just driving to drop her off and pick her up so that he can have his visitation. The tuition and child care costs alone are $650 per month.


Then he has had no obligation to pay a cent. Mom should've filed.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
You are not one of the people on the court order. No one has been rude to you. YOU are the RUDE one.



That's a rude response
What a cold hearted pointless answer. If we wanted to give custody to her father I wouldn't have bothered to post in the first place. Problem NOT solved. I was under the impression that this board was created to help people who have serious legal questions. Why didn't you just tell me to break up with my fiance? That would have "solved" the problem too huh?

By the way, I did read the sticky post. Maybe you should read the part about being rude. .
 
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49erFan

Junior Member
Both of you are rude

You are both rude. You can justify it however you want. I am engaged to this woman, and I don't "want" to take her daughter away from her father. We would be getting married whether I joined the military or not. I am simply trying to make a better life for the 3 of us. Not that I have to justify myself to you.

Also, my question wasn't about whether or not he has to pay child support. I simply included that information in the event that it would be helpful information to disclose. My detailed response to TinkerBelleLuvr was a response to her question.

If you don't want to be helpful, go post to another thread.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
You are both rude. You can justify it however you want. I am engaged to this woman, and I don't "want" to take her daughter away from her father. We would be getting married whether I joined the military or not. I am simply trying to make a better life for the 3 of us. Not that I have to justify myself to you.

Also, my question wasn't about whether or not he has to pay child support. I simply included that information in the event that it would be helpful information to disclose. My detailed response to TinkerBelleLuvr was a response to her question.

If you don't want to be helpful, go post to another thread.


You've been given the correct information.
 
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