Joint Custody Modification

[corrie09]

Alabama

My questions is myself and my ex-husband have joint custody of our two children they spend two weeks and two weeks, it has been this way for about three years. In our papers it states that niether of us are allowed to have any over night guest of the opposite gender during the childrens visitation. During this three year period he has had about seven different over night guest of the opposite gender. I know this because my children have told me and they are very confused and are acting out in ways at school. I am re-maaried and have been for over a year now. I am concerned about my children and the environment that they are being put in while at thier dad's, it is unstable and I want to know if I can get full custody.

 

[Silverplum]

Alabama

My questions is myself and my ex-husband have joint custody of our two children they spend two weeks and two weeks, it has been this way for about three years. In our papers it states that niether of us are allowed to have any over night guest of the opposite gender during the childrens visitation. During this three year period he has had about seven different over night guest of the opposite gender. I know this because my children have told me

And what did you do about each of these conversations? Seven, at least. Did you discuss with Dad? How did you find out each of these occurrences?

and they are very confused and are acting out in ways at school.

What ways?
What have you done to correct these problems?
Counseling?

I am re-maaried and have been for over a year now. I am concerned about my children and the environment that they are being put in while at thier dad's, it is unstable

What "environment" do you mean?
"Unstable," as defined by whom? Make sure it's not YOU.

and I want to know if I can get full custody.

Of course you do. That's just GOT to be the answer.

No. You have a looooooong way to go from here. And I doubt you know exactly what it is you are asking.

 

[Zigner]

Ahhh, but it was FINE for you to bring another man in to the equation. I don't suppose there's any possibility that they are acting out due to the fact that their mother has chosen a new daddy for them?

 

[Isis1]

i'm confused...if you have a clause that has no opposite genders in a custody agreement...where does the OP's spouse go during her two weeks? does marriage somehow modify that order? what does your order say exactly regarding the clause?

 

[corrie09]

Custody

I did discuss this with his dad and the court papers so no overnight guest unless married, he is not married and having women spend the night with thier children too and my children are telling me they are sleeping on the floor so the other kids can have a bed, the fact is that this is wrong and ordered by the court not to happen. He doesn't give them attention abd we he has them he also puts them off on other family members to. The issue is that I care about my kids and want full custody to put them in a loving and more stable envorinment. One of my children doesn't already want to go over there but I encourage him to because it is his father. i don't want him not to see them, but I belive that I can offer a more stable and loving envorinment instead of them going back and fourth which they don't like.

 

[corrie09]

i'm confused...if you have a clause that has no opposite genders in a custody agreement...where does the OP's spouse go during her two weeks? does marriage somehow modify that order? what does your order say exactly regarding the clause?

The clause states no opposite gender unless married.

 

[corrie09]

i'm confused...if you have a clause that has no opposite genders in a custody agreement...where does the OP's spouse go during her two weeks? does marriage somehow modify that order? what does your order say exactly regarding the clause?

Ahhh, but it was FINE for you to bring another man in to the equation. I don't suppose there's any possibility that they are acting out due to the fact that their mother has chosen a new daddy for them?

If they were married it would be different, there is no communication it is hard to communicate when he will not answer the phone, nor response to e-mails. When my children are with him I don't get to talk to them, he refuses to answer the phone and I never know where my children are I have to call three different numbers but there is still no answer I was told by my nine year old that there dad said he refused to answer the phone when I called.

 

[Isis1]

time for a modification? contempt of court for overnight visitors? but how would you prove it unless he admitted to it? i never understood ordering something you can't prove someone not following it

 

[LdiJ]

time for a modification? contempt of court for overnight visitors? but how would you prove it unless he admitted to it? i never understood ordering something you can't prove someone not following it

It could be proven if they got a GAL for the kids and the kids discussed it with the GAL. However, you are right, its really tough to prove something like that, and unless dad shows very poor judgement in the types of women he gets involved with, most judges are not going to get too riled up about that.

 

[TheGeekess]

It could be proven if they got a GAL for the kids and the kids discussed it with the GAL. However, you are right, its really tough to prove something like that, and unless dad shows very poor judgement in the types of women he gets involved with, most judges are not going to get too riled up about that.

However, OP is in Alabama, and judges tend to be extremely conservative.

 

[CourtClerk]

I never know where my children are...

You absolutely know where your children are. They are with their FATHER and he is under no obligation to report his whereabouts with his children to you everytime they make a move.

Or... do you call him everytime you go somewhere with the children also?

 

[birdbrain53]

It sounds like Dad has moved to a new address and has not notified the children's mother. So then Dad picks up children and takes them to a location that OP doesn't know. If that is the case then OP should go back to court to have Dad be required to notify her and the court of his physical residence.

And when he doesn't comply go back to court for contempt.

Bird Brain

 

[CourtClerk]

It sounds like Dad has moved to a new address and has not notified the children's mother. So then Dad picks up children and takes them to a location that OP doesn't know. If that is the case then OP should go back to court to have Dad be required to notify her and the court of his physical residence.

And when he doesn't comply go back to court for contempt.

Bird Brain

The OP has said nothing at all about not knowing dad's address, only that he won't answer her phone calls when he has the children.