joint custody - primary address?

[kceb2001]

What is the name of your state? pa
i have both joint physical and legal custody of 2 children and we agreed to live in the same school district. my home address has always been used as their primary address for school, doctor, etc. they are under my medical insurance also. my x says he is going to change their address through the school to reflect his because he is tired of being treated second class. who should be considered their primary in regard to address?

 

[annefan]

Primary residence doesn't exist when the custody arrangement is truly joint. The child spends exactly 50% with one parent and exactly 50% with the other. If you find that the child is spending 51% or more with one side, then arrange to make that the mailing address. Although, this isn't as a big a deal as one can make it to be. Most school districts will accommodate to send all information, report cards, progress reports, etc. to both parents addresses providing a copy of the court order.

 

[nextwife]

"he is tired of being treated second class"

Obviously, he is upset about some communication failure in regards to the kid's school stuff. Does the school only send notices to you, and refuse to also send them to him? Or are they to be shared between the parents, and he is being notified late? Why is he feeling out-of-the loop?

 

[kceb2001]

his reason for feeling second class was that he doesn't receive his copy of mailings, report cards and such at the same time i do. it may be a week later. however, if there is anything of immediate concern we almost always contact each other.

my point regarding a primary address is that there has to be one. i see no reason to change it when this is what the school has had. this is also what the doctors office has since they are under my insurance. i don't want a game of changing it without my agreeing, and was hoping for something to back me up.

 

[annefan]

Does either party pay or receive child support?

 

[kceb2001]

yes, i receive monthly child support

 

[annefan]

Then keep the child's primary mailing address as yours and make your ex feel "more important" by courtesy, send a copy of the court order/transcript to the school and request that duplicate records be sent. If they are already doing this, and he's receiving his correspondence a few days after you receive yours, give him the names, telephone numbers and email addresses of the child's teachers and counselors and tell him he's more than welcome to have contact directly with them regarding the child's education and progress.

 

[nextwife]

Heck, offer to invest $50 in a fax machine and promise to fax him a copy of everything the same day it comes home. And then make sure you do so.

 

[kceb2001]

thanks for all your advice and i want him to have the information he is entitled to.

my problem is how to prevent him from just changing their address. isn't there any legal backing to prevent that without my agreeing?

 

[annefan]

Yes, compose your own courteous letter to the school and inform them of the father's concerns about lack of timely correspondence and politely remind them that you possess physical custody and the address should remain unchanged. Refer to your court order and include a copy of the pertinent information in the order concerning physical residence. Then respectfully request that they send all progress reports, etc. to his address as well (provide them with his mailing address). He can thank you later. Much later.....like, when the kids are grown and gone.