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Joint Custody/Primary Physical Custody

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A

acalley

Guest
What is the name of your state? Virginia

Court document says we have joint custody with primary physical custody going to me.

I do not understand. I am having a problem at my son's school. I have no problem with my x having records, however the school releases my son to not only his dad but my x's wife without my knowledge or consent. They keep telling me he has the right.
I would like to send him to school and be at peace that he is there unless someone calls and tells me otherwise.

Until this year in school my son received all A's. This year he is doing very poor, therefore I have requested that he be tested for any learning disabilities that may just now be showing up. All his teachers say he is a well behaved happy child and do not believe his grades are do to emotional problems, stress, etc... However the school says they can not do testing without both of our Signatures. X refused to sign, he says it is my fault and his son does not need to be tested. Therfore the school refuses to test him.

My X also comes unannounced to my home at all occassion. I have no problem with him coming and bringing son home when scheduled visitation, but the constant invasion of Privacy seems wrong to me. I have ask him to call first, he says he has the right due to the joint custody. He also comes when I am not home and goes inside my home with our son.

Do I have to put up with all this stuff? What are my rights?

My divorce and custody battle took 4 1/2 years, cost well over 20,000.00 and I do not have one more penny to give to a lawyer. I hope that somebody will help me out.
 


K

kindnesscounts

Guest
What is/are your x's reasons for picking your son up? Is he removing the child from school early, or JUST picking him up at the end of the school day and bringing him right to your home? Honestly, if it's just providing transportation, I wouldn't get to worked up about it-provided the x/x's wife leaves immediately after your son gets out of the vehicle. If it's really a concern though, and/or your x is taking the child out early, does your custody agreement contain specifics on when your x's parenting time(s) start and end? If so, give a copy of the agreement to the school to have on file. Also give them written notice that his father/father's wife isn't to pick the child up outside of those times without your written permission.

Joint Custody does NOT give your x the right to continuously "drop by" your home unwelcomed or to enter your home unless invited in by you! (How is he getting in when you aren't home anyhow? Does son have a key, or do you live in a small enough town that doors are unlocked most the time? If it's a matter of being unlocked, then lock the door from now on.) I don't know for certain the legal recourse for your x's actions, but restraining orders and harassment charges come to mind IF your x continues this behavior after being advised you will take legal action if he doesn't stop.

As for not allowing additional testing, depending on the wording in your agreement, your x may well be able to hold up the works by refusing to sign! Does your custody agreement contain some kind of clause about how to handle disputes? You'd have to start with that before you can really do anything else. Some say
mediation, other papers may designate who gets the "final say" in the event the 2 of you can't agree...
 
K

kmoss

Guest
tresspassing! i have the same custody agreement (basically) only i'm on the other side, the father has primary custody. i am not aloud beyond his driveway without taking the risk of being charged with tresspassing. all he did was mail me a certified letter, carboned to his lawyer stating the above. is this legal? i'm not sure. i've never really looked into it. i haven't bothered him the way your x is bothering you - it was just a little push that made him feel big. but in your case i can see the nexessity.
 

skyy

Member
Schools have a form in which parents/guardians fill out who else is permitted to get a child from school. It would only make sense that the wife would be permitted to get the child if the father didn't the same way you could say you want your mom or friend to pick him up from school when you can't.
 

djohnson

Senior Member
I agree, I think the ex's wife should be able to pick him up if it's a legit time and reason. Where is the OP? Is he taking him out of school early for reason regularly? What is he actually doing? Have you discussed with ex and son about who is allowed in home when you are not there?
 

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