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joint physical but sole physical custody want to move, not far away.

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kaitiesmom

Guest
joint legal but sole physical custody want to move, not far away.

What is the name of your state? Mass
my divorce was final as of yesterday, I have sole physical custody and joint legal. my ex lives in pepperal which borders new hampshire. i am going to be getting remarried and will most likely be moving to either new hampshire or maine. which is not that far from mass. i have spoken with my ex regarding the possible move and he said he would fight me on it. i told him that i'm not trying to take our daughter away from him and he can still have her every other weekend, 4 weeks each summer, and school vacations. right now we live a little over an hour from each other and he tries to visit her once during each week. not always making it keep in mind. he's worried about not seeing her during the week i think that's his biggest concern but i told him there is the phone and the computer during the week and he can still have her every other weekend. he has a power trip problem. my question is since i am complety willing to do what i have to in order to keep them connected, will there be a problem if he tries to take me to court? her quality of life will be alot better, stable with a home and not moving from place to place, i will be able to go back to school, and she will finally be able to attend a school consistently and start to make lifelong friends. this move would be in both of our best interests and would only hinder the once a week visit. what do you think?
 
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haiku

Senior Member
my husbands order is in Ma. he has joint legal physical is with the mom. Pretty standard in Ma.

In thier original divorce Ma. law required that it be placed in the orders that my husband allowed her to move to a specific state if she desired after divorce. (which she did, but since moved back to Ma. We also do not live in Ma. anymore) If she desires to move anywhere but THAT state in the papers, she must get my husbands permission, and if they can't agree the court will decide.

That is Ma. law, and not something between them. Ma. does not like children under thier jurisdiction moved from thier state. You must check with your lawyer, yo umust provide a letter to him within, I believe, sixty days of your move. If he contests you must show that it is for the kids good, and that you will NOT hinder his access to the kids in any way.

likely you will also be responsible for most of the transport and cost because you are the one who caused the further distance.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I believe.....

"you must provide a letter to him within, I believe, sixty days of your move"

That's sixty days *prior*, not sixty days after.

You may have trouble if he contests the move, since he does make an effort to see her during the week, as well. The move would preclude his ability to attend school, sports and other functions should he choose to. A judge isn't going to really like that much. Since your move would be to NH or Maine, sounds as though your fiance doesn't have strong ties to either area - why can't he move to MA instead?
 
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kaitiesmom

Guest
My fiance' might move to mass. Everything is up in the air because he is retiring from the military after 30 years and is applying for positions throughout New England. Most positions are at Universities because he has such high qualifications. So as to where we would live is not set in stone yet. This is in the best interest of my child and if my ex really wants to see her in school, sports, etc...than he can drive an hour or 2..My fiance' knows that my ex might give me a hard time and that's why we are talking about maybe 2 hour drive away. I don't think that is that far at all compared to alot of people that want to move cross country.
Thanks for your advice.
 

haiku

Senior Member
kaitiesmom said:
interest of my child and if my ex really wants to see her in school, sports, etc...than he can drive an hour or 2..My fiance' knows that my ex might give me a hard time and that's why we are talking about maybe 2 hour drive away. I don't think that is that far at all compared to alot of people that want to move cross country.
Thanks for your advice.
I would NOT say that in court! YOU need to go out of YOUR way to get those kids to HIM in this case because you are taking them OUT of the state, this is not the angle you should use.

Thank you Momma tiger for clarifying my words
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
kaitiesmom said:
than he can drive an hour or 2..My fiance' knows that my ex might give me a hard time and that's why we are talking about maybe 2 hour drive away. I don't think that is that far at all compared to alot of people that want to move cross country.
Thanks for your advice.
Interesting point. Then I'm thinking you won't be that bothered driving 2 hours to either take the child to Dad's, or.... should a judge not find in your favor.... driving 2 hours to visit your daughter. Certainly not so very far compared to people living cross country.
 
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kaitiesmom

Guest
Trust me I have no intention of saying that in court. I've spoken with her father, and he already lives over an hour from us anyway. I wouldn't have any problems if it were a 2 hour drive meeting him half way. Which he agreed would be fine, because it would be the same distance. I guess maybe because of the fact that we would be 1 state away could change all this. I'm prepared to do what is necessary for my daughter and her father to keep as close as they are. I would never seperate them, I couldn't. I can say for certain that the quality of my child's life would improve dramatically. I read in some other peoples stories and that seems to be one of the key factors in having a situation like this work out for the mother. As far as transportation is concerned my ex and I have always met 1/2 way because he moved so far away and there wouldn't be a problem with meeting 1/2 way again.
Also I screwed up in typing my title. I have sole physical and joint legal custody.:)
 
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