Joint or Sole - Sex Addict

[EileenB]

What is the name of your state? AR

I'll go straight to the point - We're divorcing because my dh is a sex addict. He would never do anything to our children. Sex addict like adults, porn, cybersex, etc..However, he's going down a dark path. I feel I should file for sole custody but I don't know enough to know the difference. I met with a lawyer but didn't ask this question. I did talk to her about the safety of my kids, etc... He wants joint custody - is willing to pay good child support and alimony. Please help. TIA

 

[tigger22472]

What is the name of your state? AR

I'll go straight to the point - We're divorcing because my dh is a sex addict. He would never do anything to our children. Sex addict like adults, porn, cybersex, etc..However, he's going down a dark path. I feel I should file for sole custody but I don't know enough to know the difference. I met with a lawyer but didn't ask this question. I did talk to her about the safety of my kids, etc... He wants joint custody - is willing to pay good child support and alimony. Please help. TIA

What is your goal here? All sole custody means is that you will get the last say in major decisions in the child's life. It does not prevent visitation of any kind. From what little you have said it's even highly unlikely that he would be order supervised visitation but given a standared order. You're idea of a sex addict, his idea and a judge's idea may vary greatly. Once this goes to court the judge gets the last say. You have the right to ask for sole custody but again by what you have said that likely won't happen.

 

[EileenB]

I don't know what my goal is. I'm getting lots of advice from friends who say I need to ask for sole custody to make all the major decisions. I guess I need to know the pro's and con's of joint and sole custody.

 

[LdiJ]

I don't know what my goal is. I'm getting lots of advice from friends who say I need to ask for sole custody to make all the major decisions. I guess I need to know the pro's and con's of joint and sole custody.

Unless you can prove him legally unfit (ie a danger to the children) he will have visitation/parenting time no matter what form of custody is ordered.

Sole custody generally means that you have full decision making rights regarding the children, and he has none. Its very rare for judges to award sole custody these days. Even with sole custody its difficult to enforce your decisions, during his parenting time.

Joint custody takes different forms. There is joint legal custody (joint decision making, which is very much the norm) and joint physical custody.
Therefore, you really need to know what he means when he says that he wants joint custody. Once you know that...then you can consult with a local attorney regarding that issue.