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Kansas Custody Question/Advice Move Away Case

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billman87

Junior Member
Please excuse the length of this post but my Wife and I are desperate and need some real advice so thank you to anyone who can help.

My Wife and I have a daughter and she has a daughter from a previous relationship but was never married to the guy. I am in the military and am stationed in Kentucky while she stays in Kansas because of restrictions in the current parenting plan. After 2 mediation sessions her ex-boyfriend still would not let her bring her daughter here to Kentucky. I believe it is noteworthy that this ex-boyfriend has a violent history. He was found guilty of violating a protection order my wife had against him and was charged with criminal threat but my wife decided not to press charges. Both of these are on file and on public record.

It really hurts our family because I am unable to be with my wife and the two girls because the court process is so slow and her boyfriend is dragging hit feet. Unfortunately, we cannot afford an expensive great lawyer but do not necessarily qualify for those free lawyer services. Can anyone comment on whether or not his violent history will guarantee my wife is granted custody in a family court hearing? We are more than willing to let her daughter visit her father on holidays, school breaks, and summers, etc. but he wasn't willing to take that deal in mediation (totaling to over 120 days a year; almost a third of the year). We believe keeping our daughters together is in best interest because sisters should be together. Additionally, I have a nice newly renovated house on the military installation. It is a safe community; a family oriented one. The military provides health insurance for the whole family. Also I am an officer in the Army and have my college degree. So I make quite a bit more than a 18 year old enlistee. We believe a standard family environment is best for the child as opposed to the child just living alone with her Dad. She is 3 years old and her sister is almost 1.5 years old.

So please if anyone can help with this, any advice is much appreciated and any lawyers who can guide us in the right direction it would be super helpful. Thank you all!
 
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Proserpina

Senior Member
Please excuse the length of this post but my Wife and I are desperate and need some real advice so thank you to anyone who can help.

My Wife and I have a daughter and she has a daughter from a previous relationship but was never married to the guy. I am in the military and am stationed in Kentucky while she stays in Kansas because of restrictions in the current parenting plan. After 2 mediation sessions her ex-boyfriend still would not let her bring her daughter here to Kentucky. I believe it is noteworthy that this ex-boyfriend has a violent history. He was found guilty of violating a protection order my wife had against him and was charged with criminal threat but my wife decided not to press charges. Both of these are on file and on public record.
Assuming Dad has unsupervised visitation, the violent history is moot.

It really hurts our family because I am unable to be with my wife and the two girls because the court process is so slow and her boyfriend is dragging hit feet.
But is it not hurting Dad?

Unfortunately, we cannot afford an expensive great lawyer but do not necessarily qualify for those free lawyer services. Can anyone comment on whether or not his violent history will guarantee my wife is granted custody in a family court hearing? We are more than willing to let her daughter visit her father on holidays, school breaks, and summers, etc. but he wasn't willing to take that deal in mediation (totaling to over 120 days a year; almost a third of the year).
He's not compelled to agree.

We believe keeping our daughters together is in best interest because sisters should be together.
Write that down, 70 times, and then burn the paper. Why? Because it's a load of tripe.

Additionally, I have a nice newly renovated house on the military installation. It is a safe community; a family oriented one. The military provides health insurance for the whole family. Also I am an officer in the Army and have my college degree. So I make quite a bit more than a 18 year old enlistee. We believe a standard family environment is best for the child as opposed to the child just living alone with her Dad. She is 3 years old and her sister is almost 1.5 years old.
So what you're telling us that single parents, those on a tight budget and anyone whose house and garden don't come straight out of Martha Living are somehow lesser. Are you actively trying to get your wife to hand over custody to Dad?
So please if anyone can help with this, any advice is much appreciated and any lawyers who can guide us in the right direction it would be super helpful. Thank you all!
Oh I'm sure you'll receive some more answers.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Please excuse the length of this post but my Wife and I are desperate and need some real advice so thank you to anyone who can help.

My Wife and I have a daughter and she has a daughter from a previous relationship but was never married to the guy. I am in the military and am stationed in Kentucky while she stays in Kansas because of restrictions in the current parenting plan. After 2 mediation sessions her ex-boyfriend still would not let her bring her daughter here to Kentucky. I believe it is noteworthy that this ex-boyfriend has a violent history. He was found guilty of violating a protection order my wife had against him and was charged with criminal threat but my wife decided not to press charges. Both of these are on file and on public record.

It really hurts our family because I am unable to be with my wife and the two girls because the court process is so slow and her boyfriend is dragging hit feet. Unfortunately, we cannot afford an expensive great lawyer but do not necessarily qualify for those free lawyer services. Can anyone comment on whether or not his violent history will guarantee my wife is granted custody in a family court hearing? We are more than willing to let her daughter visit her father on holidays, school breaks, and summers, etc. but he wasn't willing to take that deal in mediation (totaling to over 120 days a year; almost a third of the year). We believe keeping our daughters together is in best interest because sisters should be together. Additionally, I have a nice newly renovated house on the military installation. It is a safe community; a family oriented one. The military provides health insurance for the whole family. Also I am an officer in the Army and have my college degree. So I make quite a bit more than a 18 year old enlistee. We believe a standard family environment is best for the child as opposed to the child just living alone with her Dad. She is 3 years old and her sister is almost 1.5 years old.

So please if anyone can help with this, any advice is much appreciated and any lawyers who can guide us in the right direction it would be super helpful. Thank you all!
Sigh.... Perhaps your wife could come and tell us what her order actually says? Most of us outgrew the game of "Telephone" a long time ago.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
Assuming Dad has unsupervised visitation, the violent history is moot.



But is it not hurting Dad?



He's not compelled to agree.



Write that down, 70 times, and then burn the paper. Why? Because it's a load of tripe.



So what you're telling us that single parents, those on a tight budget and anyone whose house and garden don't come straight out of Martha Living are somehow lesser. Are you actively trying to get your wife to hand over custody to Dad?


Oh I'm sure you'll receive some more answers.
The OP's name is VERY familiar. Perhaps from down the street? :cool:
 

billman87

Junior Member
So what kind of things should I be taking into account? How can my wife keep her Daughter and move in with me her Husband so our family can be together? I have my military obligation so I cannot move. But my wife and I want our family together. Is there anyway this can happen? What all is the court going to look at in order to make the decision? Is it even worth trying to do this? My wife hates that our family is separated. All we are trying to do is bring the family together so my wife can be happy. Because it saddens her that we aren't together. What type of legal advice can anyone offer to help with this. We are not attempting to deprive Lesley from her father at all. We just want her to live with us for the majority of the time. I had a good friend growing up who lived with his mom and stepdad and went home and visited his father in Texas every summer break, winter break, spring break, federal holidays, school holidays etc. We are looking for something similar so she can still get to know her Dad and be close to him.

NOTE: I will attach a copy of current parenting plan soon I am having my wife send it to me.

Thanks again for the responses.
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
So what kind of things should I be taking into account? How can my wife keep her Daughter and move in with me her Husband so our family can be together? I have my military obligation so I cannot move. But my wife and I want our family together. Is there anyway this can happen? What all is the court going to look at in order to make the decision? Is it even worth trying to do this? My wife hates that our family is separated. All we are trying to do is bring the family together so my wife can be happy. Because it saddens her that we aren't together. What type of legal advice can anyone offer to help with this. We are not attempting to deprive Lesley from her father at all. We just want her to live with us for the majority of the time. I had a good friend growing up who lived with his mom and stepdad and went home and visited his father in Texas every summer break, winter break, spring break, federal holidays, school holidays etc. We are looking for something similar so she can still get to know her Dad and be close to him.

NOTE: I will attach a copy of current parenting plan soon I am having my wife send it to me.

Thanks again for the responses.
What you are missing is DAD is the child's family and he most likely wants his family with him as well. It is going to be up to the court. You quite frankly don't matter.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
If your wife wanted to take your daughter far away from you, would you just lie down like a beaten dog and let her?
 
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STEPHAN

Senior Member
I have my military obligation so I cannot move.
I somebody forcing you to be in the military? When you married your wife, you knew her situation. She decided to have a child with that man and he will always be the dad. Stop trying to take the child away from the dad any find your own solution.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
So what kind of things should I be taking into account? How can my wife keep her Daughter and move in with me her Husband so our family can be together? I have my military obligation so I cannot move. But my wife and I want our family together. Is there anyway this can happen? What all is the court going to look at in order to make the decision? Is it even worth trying to do this? My wife hates that our family is separated. All we are trying to do is bring the family together so my wife can be happy. Because it saddens her that we aren't together. What type of legal advice can anyone offer to help with this. We are not attempting to deprive Lesley from her father at all. We just want her to live with us for the majority of the time. I had a good friend growing up who lived with his mom and stepdad and went home and visited his father in Texas every summer break, winter break, spring break, federal holidays, school holidays etc. We are looking for something similar so she can still get to know her Dad and be close to him.

NOTE: I will attach a copy of current parenting plan soon I am having my wife send it to me.

Thanks again for the responses.
You haven't read a word I've typed, have you?

Fine, let's break it down.

Wife: She should have thought of these issues before marrying a military member.

Dad: Has every right to feel a bit peeved - so far it's been "Me, Me, Me". That rarely works.

Wife: For some unknown reason refuses to let Dad have custody. He's not unfit

(And I beg of thee, don't come back with a laundry list of Dad's faults - if they were that important they would have been mentioned already)

Dad: Wondering who on earth gave Mom's husband parental rights

Dad: Also somewhat bemused that Ex's husband thinks he's going to march into court and walk out with everything.


OP, you're doing this wrong. Read, and re-read your first post and then the responses. Then step back 180 paces or so. Recognize your place. Do not think that you're more important than Dad's relationship with his child.

(That you're doing it in the first place is inappropriate)

You can also drop the "sisters should be together" rubbish.

I'm going to hope that you're both just a bit clueless as to how things go.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
So what kind of things should I be taking into account? How can my wife keep her Daughter and move in with me her Husband so our family can be together? I have my military obligation so I cannot move. But my wife and I want our family together. Is there anyway this can happen? What all is the court going to look at in order to make the decision? Is it even worth trying to do this? My wife hates that our family is separated. All we are trying to do is bring the family together so my wife can be happy. Because it saddens her that we aren't together. What type of legal advice can anyone offer to help with this. We are not attempting to deprive Lesley from her father at all. We just want her to live with us for the majority of the time. I had a good friend growing up who lived with his mom and stepdad and went home and visited his father in Texas every summer break, winter break, spring break, federal holidays, school holidays etc. We are looking for something similar so she can still get to know her Dad and be close to him.

NOTE: I will attach a copy of current parenting plan soon I am having my wife send it to me.

Thanks again for the responses.
I don't know how I missed that.

Since when has your wife's happiness been important?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
So what kind of things should I be taking into account? How can my wife keep her Daughter and move in with me her Husband so our family can be together? I have my military obligation so I cannot move. But my wife and I want our family together. Is there anyway this can happen? What all is the court going to look at in order to make the decision? Is it even worth trying to do this? My wife hates that our family is separated. All we are trying to do is bring the family together so my wife can be happy. Because it saddens her that we aren't together. What type of legal advice can anyone offer to help with this. We are not attempting to deprive Lesley from her father at all. We just want her to live with us for the majority of the time. I had a good friend growing up who lived with his mom and stepdad and went home and visited his father in Texas every summer break, winter break, spring break, federal holidays, school holidays etc. We are looking for something similar so she can still get to know her Dad and be close to him.

NOTE: I will attach a copy of current parenting plan soon I am having my wife send it to me.

Thanks again for the responses.
You are missing the point - this is not your issue - legally. Time for your wife to step up to the plate and be a big girl. Tell her to post for herself, with her own username.
 
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CJane

Senior Member
I recently completed a move away battle in court. We won, and the kids and I moved to WA to be with my husband (He's Army).

BUT, it took a year after I'd notified ex of relocation, and 9 months of being married before we got permission from the court to move out here and live together. It also took around $14000 out of our pockets, significantly more out of my exhusband's.

Are you prepared for that, with no guarantees?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
It would be worth adding that there were issues wrt CJane's ex/new SO and the KIDS, not her. Your wife's issues with her ex wrt the PO are quite different. If he has not been deemed a danger to HIS child? Moot.
 

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