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  1. #1
    chloesGM is offline Junior Member
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    Unhappy keep my grandchild out of fostercare

    What is the name of your state? ky
    I am the gandmother of a one year old, who was placed in my temporary custody after her parents were charged with neglect. Both parents have a long history of drug use and legal problems. We are doing family planning through social services and they have supervised visitation with both parents at her other grandmothers home at least 3 times a week. As you can imagine my sons girlfriend hates the fact that I have custody of the child and has made it known from day one. I have provided a safe, stable and loving inviroment for my granddaughter since she was placed with me in early july. I have followed all the visitation and family planning criteria. I was called in for a meeting last wensday and told the parents want the baby to be placed in foster care, the mother stated that she cannot progress as long as the child is with me because of her dislike for me. The parents have not been able to maintain a drug free life style nor have they been able to move from her mothers home since they lost custody. I am amazed that s.s. are willing to actually set up a court date to petition to have the child put in foster care when she has a good home with relatives all on the whim of someone whose mind is clouded with drug use. The mother has had a very strong, close relationship with s.s in our small town since she was young and they feel sorry for her. She also has two other children by her ex and he has had custody of both those children for 3 years. Their ages are 6 and 3. Please help me keep my granddaughter out of the foster care system! I love her very much! Thanks!
  2. #2
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by chloesGM View Post
    What is the name of your state? ky
    I am the gandmother of a one year old, who was placed in my temporary custody after her parents were charged with neglect. Both parents have a long history of drug use and legal problems. We are doing family planning through social services and they have supervised visitation with both parents at her other grandmothers home at least 3 times a week. As you can imagine my sons girlfriend hates the fact that I have custody of the child and has made it known from day one. I have provided a safe, stable and loving inviroment for my granddaughter since she was placed with me in early july. I have followed all the visitation and family planning criteria. I was called in for a meeting last wensday and told the parents want the baby to be placed in foster care, the mother stated that she cannot progress as long as the child is with me because of her dislike for me. The parents have not been able to maintain a drug free life style nor have they been able to move from her mothers home since they lost custody. I am amazed that s.s. are willing to actually set up a court date to petition to have the child put in foster care when she has a good home with relatives all on the whim of someone whose mind is clouded with drug use. The mother has had a very strong, close relationship with s.s in our small town since she was young and they feel sorry for her. She also has two other children by her ex and he has had custody of both those children for 3 years. Their ages are 6 and 3. Please help me keep my granddaughter out of the foster care system! I love her very much! Thanks!
    You need to get yourself an attorney ASAP. You do NOT want the child placed in foster care for a very important reason. If the parents fail at their reunification plan, the parent's rights will be terminated and its very possible that the foster family would be allowed to adopt the child. You need to fight to keep the child in your care. An attorney would be your best advocate.
  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by chloesGM View Post
    What is the name of your state? ky
    I am the gandmother of a one year old, who was placed in my temporary custody after her parents were charged with neglect. Both parents have a long history of drug use and legal problems. We are doing family planning through social services and they have supervised visitation with both parents at her other grandmothers home at least 3 times a week. As you can imagine my sons girlfriend hates the fact that I have custody of the child and has made it known from day one. I have provided a safe, stable and loving inviroment for my granddaughter since she was placed with me in early july. I have followed all the visitation and family planning criteria. I was called in for a meeting last wensday and told the parents want the baby to be placed in foster care, the mother stated that she cannot progress as long as the child is with me because of her dislike for me. The parents have not been able to maintain a drug free life style nor have they been able to move from her mothers home since they lost custody. I am amazed that s.s. are willing to actually set up a court date to petition to have the child put in foster care when she has a good home with relatives all on the whim of someone whose mind is clouded with drug use. The mother has had a very strong, close relationship with s.s in our small town since she was young and they feel sorry for her. She also has two other children by her ex and he has had custody of both those children for 3 years. Their ages are 6 and 3. Please help me keep my granddaughter out of the foster care system! I love her very much! Thanks!
    This story makes want to throw up! I can't imagine this mother thinking her child would be better off in foster care. She may even have good reason to dislike you, however, she obviously is not thinking about what is least harmful to her child. I hope the judge tells her to stick it! Find a good attorney NOW!
  4. #4
    chloesGM is offline Junior Member
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    legal help

    As with most grandparents, raising their grandkids, money is always a factor when it comes to hiring a lawyer. I have gotten the number to the ombudsman, and am going to see if they can help. I really do think the s.s. are looking more to what the mother wants instead of the best intrest of the child. Anyone with more suggestions would be appreciated.
  5. #5
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by chloesGM View Post
    As with most grandparents, raising their grandkids, money is always a factor when it comes to hiring a lawyer. I have gotten the number to the ombudsman, and am going to see if they can help. I really do think the s.s. are looking more to what the mother wants instead of the best intrest of the child. Anyone with more suggestions would be appreciated.
    Do you have a 401k or IRA that you can tap? Or even life insurance with a cash value? Or possibly a home equity loan...because you really NEED that attorney.
  6. #6
    majomom1 is offline Senior Member
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    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by chloesGM View Post
    As with most grandparents, raising their grandkids, money is always a factor when it comes to hiring a lawyer. I have gotten the number to the ombudsman, and am going to see if they can help. I really do think the s.s. are looking more to what the mother wants instead of the best intrest of the child. Anyone with more suggestions would be appreciated.
    You might try calling some attorneys, for a free consult and accidentally find one that would be willing to help you out, or set up payment arrangements that you can afford.

    There are some decent attorneys out there and I would think most of them would agree that the children being with a grandparent would be better than foster care!

    I would think that a good attorney could easily handle this case without much expense. Kiddo has been with you since July so I find it highly unlikely that a court would remove them just because she doesn't like you.

    It's at least worth making a few calls and asking!
  7. #7
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by majomom1 View Post
    You might try calling some attorneys, for a free consult and accidentally find one that would be willing to help you out, or set up payment arrangements that you can afford.

    There are some decent attorneys out there and I would think most of them would agree that the children being with a grandparent would be better than foster care!

    I would think that a good attorney could easily handle this case without much expense. Kiddo has been with you since July so I find it highly unlikely that a court would remove them just because she doesn't like you.

    It's at least worth making a few calls and asking!
    One would like to think that is true...however many judges go with whatever CPS recommends. If CPS is willing to recommend that the child be removed from Grandma and placed in foster care, grandma NEEDS an attorney.

    I also think that grandma needs to be filing for custody independent of CPS.
  8. #8
    majomom1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    One would like to think that is true...however many judges go with whatever CPS recommends. If CPS is willing to recommend that the child be removed from Grandma and placed in foster care, grandma NEEDS an attorney.

    I also think that grandma needs to be filing for custody independent of CPS.
    I concurred that grandma needs an attorney. I can understand a judge following the recommendation of CPS... normally, but not if their only reason is mom doesn't like grandma. A good attorney could probably take care of this fairly easily AND there are still some that will help folks in special circumstances... such as this.
  9. #9
    IrishLady47 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by chloesGM View Post
    I am the gandmother of a one year old, who was placed in my temporary custody after her parents were charged with neglect
    Who placed her in your care? CPS or social services as you call it?

    Quote Originally Posted by chloesGM View Post
    I was called in for a meeting last wensday and told the parents want the baby to be placed in foster care, the mother stated that she cannot progress as long as the child is with me because of her dislike for me.
    Since they are still the child's parents, they can probably petition to have the child placed in foster care, this doesn't mean the court will grant it. And, I guarantee what the mother probably said was the reunification progress was being affected by your dislike of her, whether that is a fair comment or not.

    Quote Originally Posted by chloesGM View Post
    I am amazed that s.s. are willing to actually set up a court date to petition to have the child put in foster care when she has a good home with relatives all on the whim of someone whose mind is clouded with drug use.
    They may not have a choice not to act on the parents' petition. Did they actually tell you that their office would recommend foster care over you?

    Quote Originally Posted by escape2paradise View Post
    This story makes want to throw up! I can't imagine this mother thinking her child would be better off in foster care. She may even have good reason to dislike you, however, she obviously is not thinking about what is least harmful to her child.
    I agree with this IF the only reason is dislike of GM. But, in her first post she states "the parents want the baby placed in foster care". That includes her son, who maybe knows a little more about GM child rearing practices than CPS did initially.

    CPS almost always prefers relative placement (if relatives in same jurisdiction) over foster care UNLESS there is a very good reason. Just because someone is a grandmother does not automatically mean they are a fit substitute parent.

    OP - you do need a good family law attorney. Even though I think it is very possible that you have misinterpreted the situation and are in a panic not warranted. The child has been with you almost 6 months and is healthy and happy. That should count for a lot in the court's consideration--but I think an attorney would know how to best present that to the court.
  10. #10
    chloesGM is offline Junior Member
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    re: keep my grandchild out of foster care

    We went to court today and I happily found out that I have custody of Chloe and not the state, That saved us so far. And as absurd as it may sound the dcs just believe everything my sons girlfriend says and they have actually (dcs, that is) made false statements and omitted very important facts when presenting their case so that I looked like I was not cooperating with them, I found it totally unbelievable! The other reason they want to take the baby out of my home is because our 6 month evaluation period is almost up and I can petition for permante custody so the parents and even the other grandmother are making alot of false statements against me. A girl that works with the childs mother told me of threats that she has made against meand my oldest daughter (who is raising her own 4 children alone) and the fact that she smokes pot in the cooler at work and takes hand fulls of niacin to clean her system before drug testing, the dcs wrote in thier report that they felt I put this girl up to this! How crazy is that! I did tell her if she knew these things,not to tell me but to report it. Dcs basically called her a liar in the report. Anyway, I know now I must get a lawyer before our next court case on feb. 12th. I am also thinking about trying to sue dcs for undo anguish and triing to place my grandchild in danger as they have made me send her on visitation under her doctors orders not to go because she was very sick at the time. What do ya'll think?
  11. #11
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by chloesGM View Post
    We went to court today and I happily found out that I have custody of Chloe and not the state, That saved us so far. And as absurd as it may sound the dcs just believe everything my sons girlfriend says and they have actually (dcs, that is) made false statements and omitted very important facts when presenting their case so that I looked like I was not cooperating with them, I found it totally unbelievable! The other reason they want to take the baby out of my home is because our 6 month evaluation period is almost up and I can petition for permante custody so the parents and even the other grandmother are making alot of false statements against me. A girl that works with the childs mother told me of threats that she has made against meand my oldest daughter (who is raising her own 4 children alone) and the fact that she smokes pot in the cooler at work and takes hand fulls of niacin to clean her system before drug testing, the dcs wrote in thier report that they felt I put this girl up to this! How crazy is that! I did tell her if she knew these things,not to tell me but to report it. Dcs basically called her a liar in the report. Anyway, I know now I must get a lawyer before our next court case on feb. 12th. I am also thinking about trying to sue dcs for undo anguish and triing to place my grandchild in danger as they have made me send her on visitation under her doctors orders not to go because she was very sick at the time. What do ya'll think?
    Don't even think about suing DCS. Don't even go there. Get yourself an attorney and fight for Chloe...focus yourself there. You don't want to make a permanent enemy out of DCS.
  12. #12
    IrishLady47 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Don't even think about suing DCS. Don't even go there. Get yourself an attorney and fight for Chloe...focus yourself there. You don't want to make a permanent enemy out of DCS.
    Amen to that.

    OP - I think you are blowing out of proportion the actions DCS is taking. They are required to make reports and investigate all allegations, true or false. Unfortunately, this happens often in custody cases. Lots of mud-slinging. It may be helpful if you start to document each time to take the child for the supervised visits and how else you are complying with requirements. In fact, please do so, because accurate record keeping is not the strong point of most child protective services.

    DCS is far from perfect, sometimes incompetent and often overwhelmed with cases (which is why files may not contain important facts). But you are starting to sound like you believe there is some sort of vendetta being carried out against you. Please get some legal representation--if you give the judge the wrong impression, it could hurt your case for permanent custody. I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings, but, quite frankly, you're sounding kind of wacky.

    Probably the stress of the situation. Good luck!
  13. #13
    chloesGM is offline Junior Member
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    Smile chloesGM

    I realize that I sound "wacky" as a matter of fact what is going on here is more unbelievable than even I can imagine. For example why would dcs purposely report when I have to make a change in visitation such as a doctors recommendation but not point out that the parents frequently blow off visitation for no reason? It most defienately sounds like I am being paraniod but I assure that is not the case. The parents and other grandmother are priveleged to have the workers home phone numbers, I have never had that offered to me. Not that it would do any good anyway, when the doctor sent a note for Chloe to stay home because she was so sick, dcs called them liars and that they were coirsed by me, when a girl she works with made a statement to them in refrence to the drug use and threats they put in thier report that I put this girl up to this, It is just so crazy! But I do believe that I need to only concentrate on keeping custody of Chloe and saying what I did about dcs was just out of amazement that they can misuse their athourity in this manner. To all who read this...PLEASE just pray for Chloes safety and happiness. Thanks, Nana Lisa
  14. #14
    IrishLady47 is offline Member
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    As they say just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you!!

    I will say a prayer for the innocent little girl of course.

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