law for women who purposely get pregnant

[actionO]

I dont recall where. But I read over the internet. That they were trying to pass a law where if a woman purposely gets pregnant then the bio father would not have to pay CS and would not have to take any responsibilities. Read it almost 8 months ago.

I would like to know if that law was passed. I have reason to believe that my ex whom I was never married to stopped taking the pill so she could keep me in her life. Well now that baby is born and things have gone sour between us all she wants is money.

What rights does a man have if this happens. Im sure I am not the only one. There are plenty of emotionally disturbed women out there that would do this. I asked her to have an abortion and she refused stating she didnt believe in it. So now this has me pissed because from what my lawyer and people are telling me I have to bend over, spread them wide and hope for some lube. This is unjust and a man should not have to do anything if he is stuck in this situation. There has to be something out there that protects us from women like these.

Someone HELP!!!!!!

 

[tigger22472]

I'm sorry if I sound harsh however I can't believe in this day and age that a question like this is posted. Have you ever heard of the fact that you have the responsibility to protect yourself and never trust that a woman is using protection??? Either she got pregnant when you guys were still getting along and you were willing to take the chance of a child or she did it after in which there were already problems and you still seemed to trust her. Sounds as if you are trying to get out of supporting a child that you weren't prepared to have yet you were prepared to have unprotected sex. I'm not saying that women don't do it or that I think it is right for them to do so but if you weren't ready to have a child then you should of taken on the responsibility of protecting yourself. It is not the child's fault. What is supposed to be said to this child???

 

[FKNA]

Action.....you're probably SOL. 1) they would have a tough time getting a law like that passed 2) even if it was passed, it would be even harder to prove that she intentionally got pregnant. She could always say she was taking the pill, after all they are NOT 100% effective.

 

[Grandma B]

Don't hold your breath until such a law passes--ain't gonna happen!

Suggest you learn to protect yourself; better yet, keep your pants on. The world doesn't need any more babies with fathers who don't care about them.

 

[tigger22472]

Don't hold your breath until such a law passes--ain't gonna happen!

Suggest you learn to protect yourself; better yet, keep your pants on. The world doesn't need any more babies with fathers who don't care about them.

EXACTLY Grandma B.....

I was appalled when I read it the first time and after reading it again I caught the whole abortion thing. Nothing ticks me off more then that. I believe there are reasons to have abortions but the fact that you don't know how to keep your pants up is one of them. Notice I didn't say "how to keep it in your pants" for there are women that have the same idea. I knew a girl in high school that had 3 abortions before graduation simply because of "accidents." I agree that birth control doesn't always work however no one has that bad of luck....

 

[deefran]

Just wanted to say...
Whenever people decide to have sex there is ALWAYS the possibility of pregnancy...regardless if protection is used or not. Nothing is 100% reliable, especially other human beings. That is exactly why the law will never be passed.

 

[FKNA]

tigger...grandma b....not to defend the original poster since none of us know the entire true story. But there ARE women out there that are down right sneeky and underhanded. I'm going to use my sister as a prime example. Years ago she was living with this guy, did not want him to wear a rubber. She assured him that she was on the pill and assured him that if it failed, she would get an abortion. He also made it very clear that if she did get a pregnant and did not get an abortion he would be history. This was all a ploy by my sister....thinking if she got pregnant she would get herself a husband.

 

[tigger22472]

FKNA, I totally agree with you. I realize that there are women out there like that and I am BY NO MEANS defending them. I also agree that without trust in a relationship you have nothing however in the end what is the result is an innocent child who didn't ask to be brought into the world. This is a child in which TWO people made. I'm sure he wasn't handcuffed to the bed and forced to have unprotected sex with her. He had a choice and he chose to believe her and now there is a child out there that will wonder who his father is and why he doesn't have anything to do with him/her. What is he supposed to say to this child... "well, your mom tricked me. I didn't really want you and when I did find out about you I told her to get an abortion. She didn't do as I wanted so I figured why should I have to pay"? That shows children good morals and we wonder why our society is going downhill.

 

[soniasaini]

You've just learned a very difficult life long lesson. Hopefully you will not be so trusting in the future. It would suck to have this happen to you again, so be careful...all men and women lie at some point. Others are just stupid or careless. Don't be naive again.

I don't condemn you for thinking about an abortion as it is a legal option. The ultimate choice however, is not yours. You can't convice her to get one, nor would you want to feel responsible for such a life altering decision. People can really get emotionally messed up when they finally have stable lives and want children and are overshadowed by a past abortion. I don't wish that decision upon anyone.

You would now be wise to think long and hard about whether or not you want to be a father to this child. If you do, then you have to be responsible about it and make sure you are the biological father (genetic testing), as you know you cannot trust the word of your ex-girlfriend. You may have to pay $200 for this, or she might...but you need to know the truth.

From my experience, it is in your best interest to keep a good relationship with the mother, even if you feel trapped and screwed. I don't mean a romantic relationship, but a civil one. You may despise her, but keep it to yourself for now.

I might also suggest that if you really want to be a dad and a good dad, seek joint custody. Start concentrating on the fact that you have a kid and that kid deserves two parents who can act like adults. Keep the kid in mind first, even if the mother makes you very angry. Respect that the mother can parent how she sees fit and you deserve the same respect...as long as child is not harmed.

My husband has been in the same boat. It doesn't get any better, but you learn to live with it. Keep in mind that it is a scary prospect for a woman to bring another human into the world without feeling like anyone who will care about this kid as much as she does is around to share the responsibility with her. The situation stinks, but the two of you created it (the situation) and being naive is no excuse.

 

[tigger22472]

I think he made it clear even by posting this that he doesn't want to be a father. He's looking for ways to get out of taking responsiblity. I do agree however with you soniasaini that he should get a paternity test. She's "supposably" tricked him once. However wether or not she did do it on purpose or not if the paternity test comes back as him the father then he's responsible for the child. He can't use the fact that he made a bad choice to get out of responsibilty.

 

[soniasaini]

Tigger--I didn't mean to imply that he can opt out of fatherhood. I just predict that the mother will find someone new to settle down with at some point and ask for him to waive his rights and the new guy can adopt the child. It seems to go this way more often than not. It is not always a bad thing, but it is something that one can regret for a very long time.

 

[tigger22472]

Tigger--I didn't mean to imply that he can opt out of fatherhood. I just predict that the mother will find someone new to settle down with at some point and ask for him to waive his rights and the new guy can adopt the child. It seems to go this way more often than not. It is not always a bad thing, but it is something that one can regret for a very long time.

I agree. If she's as tricky as he makes her out to be then she would look for someone to take over the father role. Then on the other hand if she's not like he says she could simply see the light that he doesn't want to have anything to do with the child and the most important thing is that the child is loved.

 

[july_child]

CONDOM

Why didn't you use a condom if you didn't want children? Regardless if she was on the pill or not. You should protect yourself.

 

[FKNA]

tigger.....I agree, it's the innocent unborn child that's getting caught in the middle.

actionO...as others have already stated, you are ultimately responsible for your own actions. Like it or not, you SHOULD live up to your responsibility as a biological father to the child.

 

[missjasmine]

There was a case here in New Mexico where a guy tried to sue his girlfriend for getting pregnant. Illegal use of his sperm or something like that. He swore he wasn't suing her because he was trying to get out of paying child support. Needless to say, he was the laugh of Albuquerque. His case was dismissed and he went on national T.V. and everything. Totally ridiculous. I still don't know what his point was.