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Legally can he make these demands ?

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Pearl72

Member
What is the name of your state? Colorado
My ex was served garnishment papers today, which take effect immediatly -- he gets paid tomorrow, so now he and his wife are stating they will be here at 6am to pick up my daughter for there weekend parenting time (which doesn't start until 2pm) and that I am to provide her "nice clothes" for their weekend. There is nothing in the court order that states that I am to provide clothing for their parenting time. I know they have clothes for her, being as they have kept the clothes I used to send her in, which were never returned, so I stopped sending her in her nicer stuff since i Never got it back anyways... so my question is -- just want to make sure I am correct in that if they decide to show up at my door at 6am - I don't have to let my daughter go right? At least not until 2pm which is when the parenting time starts... and also am i to send her clothes now too? Mind you, I don't want my daughter to not have clothes to wear while with her father and step mom, but I don't feel that I should have to provide something that they should already have?
 


sbaldwin

Member
If your papers say 2, you don't have to let your daughter go until then. Also, if your papers do not say that you are to provide clothing you do not have to. I understand that you don't want to send her best clothing since there's a good chance you will never see the clothes again. But if it were me, I would send something (if this is what you have done in the past) just to be sure that she does indeed have clean clothing to wear during the visit... just my opinion though.
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
Pearl72 said:
What is the name of your state? Colorado
My ex was served garnishment papers today, which take effect immediatly -- he gets paid tomorrow, so now he and his wife are stating they will be here at 6am to pick up my daughter for there weekend parenting time (which doesn't start until 2pm) and that I am to provide her "nice clothes" for their weekend. There is nothing in the court order that states that I am to provide clothing for their parenting time. I know they have clothes for her, being as they have kept the clothes I used to send her in, which were never returned, so I stopped sending her in her nicer stuff since i Never got it back anyways... so my question is -- just want to make sure I am correct in that if they decide to show up at my door at 6am - I don't have to let my daughter go right? At least not until 2pm which is when the parenting time starts... and also am i to send her clothes now too? Mind you, I don't want my daughter to not have clothes to wear while with her father and step mom, but I don't feel that I should have to provide something that they should already have?
Ok.. first question is where or how are they coming up with 6A and where are you getting the 2P? Is this written somewhere?

Secondly you really need to look things over really closely when it comes to your decree AS WELL AS state guidelines. Indiana guidelines require the CP to provide clothing for the child on the weekends with NCP (also requires NCP return them) so you may be required to do so.
 

Pearl72

Member
CO states that he is to pick her up at 2pm, mind you at the time this was made, he didn't work fridays - 3 years ago. The CO doesn't state that I am to provide the clothes for his parenting time either, but just to be safe, i will ck the colorado guidelines and see if there is anything stated in there...i think i will still send some clothes just for my peace of mind knowing that she does have clean clothes to wear for her time with her daddy. What do i do if i don't get these back? I can't afford to just keep giving him clothes and not get them back..and then have to turn around and get new ones for her.

Orginially since finding out (my ex found out today) that his wages would be garnished for non payment of child support, his wife was going to go pick her up after preschool today at 3:30, to start their weekend, but told them if they did do that i would file custodial interference. The want her early due to wife doesn't want to take 2 hours out of her time tomorrow to pick up my daughter due to my daughter's father has to work until 7pm tomorrow night. (They live an hour away). So then I have to be at work at 7am in the morning, they said they would be at my house at 6am to pick her up -- they don't want to pick her up at her babysitters (which they have been doing for 3 years). Now all the sudden it is an inconvience for them to do this.
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
Well then, no.. if it's written not until 2,I wouldn't let her go until then and mainly because of what 'they' are doing.
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
Pearl72 said:
CO states that he is to pick her up at 2pm, mind you at the time this was made, he didn't work fridays - 3 years ago. The CO doesn't state that I am to provide the clothes for his parenting time either, but just to be safe, i will ck the colorado guidelines and see if there is anything stated in there...i think i will still send some clothes just for my peace of mind knowing that she does have clean clothes to wear for her time with her daddy. What do i do if i don't get these back? I can't afford to just keep giving him clothes and not get them back..and then have to turn around and get new ones for her.
But as the CP, it IS your responsible to ensure the child is dressed appropriately for the visit. Since this is simply visitation, you probably need to provide the clothing for the weekend. I'd have a checklist of what's included and make sure it's returned. If you happen to come across state statutes/court rules that state all of the children's property/clothing that is taken MUST be returned (this is common knowledge, but some NCP's 'forget'), I would copy and paste the language and hand it to your ex as well, so in case you don't get anything back, he can't play stupid that he "didn't know." Just a suggestion.

Orginially since finding out (my ex found out today) that his wages would be garnished for non payment of child support, his wife was going to go pick her up after preschool today at 3:30, to start their weekend, but told them if they did do that i would file custodial interference. The want her early due to wife doesn't want to take 2 hours out of her time tomorrow to pick up my daughter due to my daughter's father has to work until 7pm tomorrow night. (They live an hour away). So then I have to be at work at 7am in the morning, they said they would be at my house at 6am to pick her up -- they don't want to pick her up at her babysitters (which they have been doing for 3 years). Now all the sudden it is an inconvience for them to do this.
Well, if it's not a problem for them to pick the child up at 6am, then let them. Although, as others have stated, you are under NO LEGAL OBLIGATION to do so! But, honestly, if it's not a problem, then let them. Just make sure they don't make a habit of this.

Also, regardless of the NCP's work sked when the order was signed and put into effect, what's in the current order stands. Y'all might want to be reminded of that. ;)
 

Pearl72

Member
Thanks for the suggestions. I will send her with clothes for the weekend, and just hope that he brings them back. I just got off the phone with him, and now that i am dipping in his pocket, the child support that i will supposidly be getting is supposed to cover both his household AND mine now. So now im supposed to pay him for food, clothing, personal items, Plus he said that he is going to put in to reduce the child support. 3 years ago he was willingly underemployed, and still is to this day.

In the past he has tried to make it a habit in getting her earlier, without regard to either dr's appointments, or other commitments. He is constantly late as well, a few times in which she didn't come home until well after 10pm. That is why im standing my ground... this is just ridiculous, and yeah i know i picked him... so now im dealin with it. I just let it go since she loves her daddy as well she should... he is a good dad to her, just kinda a pain to me... but am civil with him for the sake of our daughter, not fair to bring her into OUR issues as adults.

Thanks again for the comments, and advice. Just wanted to cover my own butt.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Pearl72 said:
Thanks for the suggestions. I will send her with clothes for the weekend, and just hope that he brings them back. I just got off the phone with him, and now that i am dipping in his pocket, the child support that i will supposidly be getting is supposed to cover both his household AND mine now. So now im supposed to pay him for food, clothing, personal items, Plus he said that he is going to put in to reduce the child support. 3 years ago he was willingly underemployed, and still is to this day.

In the past he has tried to make it a habit in getting her earlier, without regard to either dr's appointments, or other commitments. He is constantly late as well, a few times in which she didn't come home until well after 10pm. That is why im standing my ground... this is just ridiculous, and yeah i know i picked him... so now im dealin with it. I just let it go since she loves her daddy as well she should... he is a good dad to her, just kinda a pain to me... but am civil with him for the sake of our daughter, not fair to bring her into OUR issues as adults.

Thanks again for the comments, and advice. Just wanted to cover my own butt.
Follow the court order to the "T". Don't release her one minute sooner than the order states...and file contempt if he returns her late. You absolutely do not have to provide food or personal items. Yes, you should probably provide clothing, but don't send anything that you can't afford to lose. Goodwill shops or garage sales are a good way to find decent clothing that you can afford to lose....and once you have a decent list of what hasn't come back...you can legitimately refuse to pack a bag with more.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Here's what I don't get. You have to be at work at 7am, so the kid is going to be up anyway. And she's going to spend the day with her daycare people. Why is their picking her up before you go to work such a huge deal?

Yes, yes, yes, the court order says. But I bet it doesn't say that you can't agree to give him some extra time. It's not as though this is taking time away that YOU're spending with her. Nor is she missing important school stuff. Or is the real issue that she'll spend time with *gasp* stepmom?

As for clothes - like LDi said.... go to a consignment shop or Goodwill. You can often get nice and nearly new (sometimes brand new) clothes for cents on the dollar, and keep those for her to take to Daddy's. They don't come back? Then he's got a set until she outgrows them.

Hills, people. Remember them hills.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
Here's what I don't get. You have to be at work at 7am, so the kid is going to be up anyway. And she's going to spend the day with her daycare people. Why is their picking her up before you go to work such a huge deal?

Yes, yes, yes, the court order says. But I bet it doesn't say that you can't agree to give him some extra time. It's not as though this is taking time away that YOU're spending with her. Nor is she missing important school stuff. Or is the real issue that she'll spend time with *gasp* stepmom?

As for clothes - like LDi said.... go to a consignment shop or Goodwill. You can often get nice and nearly new (sometimes brand new) clothes for cents on the dollar, and keep those for her to take to Daddy's. They don't come back? Then he's got a set until she outgrows them.

Hills, people. Remember them hills.
I would agree with you if dad was doing this because dad simply wanted/needed extra time with the child. However that isn't why dad is doing this, he is doing this for "control" and "punishment" purposes...and out of anger due to the garnishment. I don't believe that its wise to "give in" in those circumstances. The demands usually become more and more outrageous over time.

Following the order to a "t" usually is the best way to diffuse that kind of situation.
 
also..

LdiJ said:
I would agree with you if dad was doing this because dad simply wanted/needed extra time with the child. However that isn't why dad is doing this, he is doing this for "control" and "punishment" purposes...and out of anger due to the garnishment. I don't believe that its wise to "give in" in those circumstances. The demands usually become more and more outrageous over time.

Following the order to a "t" usually is the best way to diffuse that kind of situation.
Also this may be his attempt to say the reason he needs the child support reduced is because he spends more time with the child and it should be lowered...I know in idaho they not only base the child support on wages but on how often the child is with each parent...just because hes the NC parent doesnt mean he has her an equal amount of time...that could be considered too he could be trying to pull something...a good place to buy nice cheap clothes would be ebay! you can buy big lots of outfits for merely pennies...When i send my daughter back with her grandma i never see the nice clothes or shoes that i buy for her again but i just think of it as im donating to charity, yeah sure my daughter deserves to wear those clothes again but i have plenty of nice clothes for her and she deserves what i buy her more than the junk and trash they have her wear....the weather was 51 and raining her a few days ago and she came in sandals and a size 12 month tank top and shorts and shes 18 months! anyways yeah just do what the order says nothing else!Send clothes
 

casa

Senior Member
Pearl72 said:
What is the name of your state? Colorado
My ex was served garnishment papers today, which take effect immediatly -- he gets paid tomorrow, so now he and his wife are stating they will be here at 6am to pick up my daughter for there weekend parenting time (which doesn't start until 2pm) and that I am to provide her "nice clothes" for their weekend. There is nothing in the court order that states that I am to provide clothing for their parenting time. I know they have clothes for her, being as they have kept the clothes I used to send her in, which were never returned, so I stopped sending her in her nicer stuff since i Never got it back anyways... so my question is -- just want to make sure I am correct in that if they decide to show up at my door at 6am - I don't have to let my daughter go right? At least not until 2pm which is when the parenting time starts... and also am i to send her clothes now too? Mind you, I don't want my daughter to not have clothes to wear while with her father and step mom, but I don't feel that I should have to provide something that they should already have?
I started shopping resale/Thrift because of the expense of keeping clothing...didn't help because even that gets expensive when it's 2 or 3 outfits per week! :eek: Not only that, my nuttyX then started complaining she was coming in 'play' clothes and not 'nice' clothes. Eventually this issue was brought up in court by my X. I simply said I always provided clothes and they didn't return- so I compromised by buying inexpensive clothes & yet they weren't good enough...and still weren't returned. The judge ordered the nuttyX to provide his own clothing for visitation, regardless of child support. :cool: If you knew my X, this was poetic Justice :rolleyes:
 

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