Legally married, boyfriend the father of unborn child.

[ginnybyon]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

My husband and I have been separated. I began seeing a man who decided to leave his wife for me. The day after I found out I was pregnant, he went back to his wife. My spouse does not want a divorce and knows that he will be placed on the birth record of this child due to being my legal spouse.

If my spouse is on the birth record as the legal father, does the biological father have any way to try to get visitation or custody. I do not want money from him. His wife is abusive to his other child (not hers biologically). Their house is filthy. Many animals in it. Looks like a home from that show, "How clean is your house?" Could this man take me to court for DNA testing even though the legal father on the birth record would be my husband? Please help.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

My husband and I have been separated. I began seeing a man who decided to leave his wife for me. The day after I found out I was pregnant, he went back to his wife. My spouse does not want a divorce and knows that he will be placed on the birth record of this child due to being my legal spouse.

If my spouse is on the birth record as the legal father, does the biological father have any way to try to get visitation or custody. I do not want money from him. His wife is abusive to his other child (not hers biologically). Their house is filthy. Many animals in it. Looks like a home from that show, "How clean is your house?" Could this man take me to court for DNA testing even though the legal father on the birth record would be my husband? Please help.

Yes, if he wants to do so he can file to disestablish your husband's paternity and establish his. Your husband also could file to disestablish his legal paternity and honestly, probably should, even if the two of you remain together. The child should grow up knowing who their biological father is, even if the biological father is not involved in their life.

 

[txmom512]

Your husband also could file to disestablish his legal paternity and honestly, probably should, even if the two of you remain together. The child should grow up knowing who their biological father is, even if the biological father is not involved in their life.

Why? Why do people here think it is SO important for children to know who their biological parents are, even if they already have two great parents?

I guess that just seems odd to me because my brother is adopted. He has NO desire whatsoever to find his biological parents, he never has. He has (had) two great parents (our dad died this year). He said it would be too weird... He's perfectly content w/ the parents he has.

Honestly, biology isn't everything. It's not what makes a parent a parent...

 

[LdiJ]

Why? Why do people here think it is SO important for children to know who their biological parents are, even if they already have two great parents?

I guess that just seems odd to me because my brother is adopted. He has NO desire whatsoever to find his biological parents, he never has. He has (had) two great parents (our dad died this year). He said it would be too weird... He's perfectly content w/ the parents he has.

Honestly, biology isn't everything. It's not what makes a parent a parent...

An adoption is a little different than this case. In an adoption no one has to worry about the biological parent showing up 10 years later, demanding rights, and rocking the child's world.

 

[txmom512]

Ahhhh, good point...

 

[AHA]

Why? Why do people here think it is SO important for children to know who their biological parents are, even if they already have two great parents?

I guess that just seems odd to me because my brother is adopted. He has NO desire whatsoever to find his biological parents, he never has. He has (had) two great parents (our dad died this year). He said it would be too weird... He's perfectly content w/ the parents he has.

Honestly, biology isn't everything. It's not what makes a parent a parent...

Who said that a person HAS to have contact with the biological parent/s? The person has the right to know who the biological parent/s is/are regardless of what he/she decides to do with that information. Lying to a person their whole life is better??

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

My husband and I have been separated. I began seeing a man who decided to leave his wife for me. The day after I found out I was pregnant, he went back to his wife. My spouse does not want a divorce and knows that he will be placed on the birth record of this child due to being my legal spouse.

If my spouse is on the birth record as the legal father, does the biological father have any way to try to get visitation or custody. I do not want money from him. His wife is abusive to his other child (not hers biologically). Their house is filthy. Many animals in it. Looks like a home from that show, "How clean is your house?" Could this man take me to court for DNA testing even though the legal father on the birth record would be my husband? Please help.

Anyone else find this completely and totally pricess? Your husband is the legal father. Your former lover has a right to file to establish paternity. All of what you are bringing up did NOT bother you when you were boinking him. Apparently your standards for who you have sex with is lower than your standards for other purposes. That is scary.

 

[nextwife]

Who said that a person HAS to have contact with the biological parent/s? The person has the right to know who the biological parent/s is/are regardless of what he/she decides to do with that information. Lying to a person their whole life is better??

The truth should always be provided regarding bioparentage and the PROPER legal steps (relinquishing rights followed by adooptions) should be followed if one wishes to become the legal parent of a child who is not theirs biologically.

However, it is not always possible for our adopted kids to know their bioparent or any info or access to them. So, please, let's not make out that we parents of kids who CAN'T know their bioparents are denying them a right. Of course, we would NEVER lie to her about being her bioparents!

(Kiddo's mom left her at the "baby home" days after birth, and biodad was never known or established. WE are not denying her a right, matter of fact, we'd be in violation of the laws affecting her adoption if we sought out biomom or disclosed any info about her)

 

[AHA]

The truth should always be provided regarding bioparentage and the PROPER legal steps (relinquishing rights followed by adooptions) should be followed if one wishes to become the legal parent of a child who is not theirs biologically.

However, it is not always possible for our adopted kids to know their bioparent or any info or access to them. So, please, let's not make out that we parents of kids who CAN'T know their bioparents are denying them a right. Of course, we would NEVER lie to her about being her bioparents!

(Kiddo's mom left her at the "baby home" days after birth, and biodad was never known or established. WE are not denying her a right, matter of fact, we'd be in violation of the laws affecting her adoption if we sought out biomom or disclosed any info about her)

Calm down, all I'm saying is that everyone has the right to know who they come from. If you don't know who your kids come from, then they deserve to know that at least. I am for honesty for kids' basic rights.

 

[jbowman]

The truth should always be provided regarding bioparentage and the PROPER legal steps (relinquishing rights followed by adooptions) should be followed if one wishes to become the legal parent of a child who is not theirs biologically.

However, it is not always possible for our adopted kids to know their bioparent or any info or access to them. So, please, let's not make out that we parents of kids who CAN'T know their bioparents are denying them a right. Of course, we would NEVER lie to her about being her bioparents!

(Kiddo's mom left her at the "baby home" days after birth, and biodad was never known or established. WE are not denying her a right, matter of fact, we'd be in violation of the laws affecting her adoption if we sought out biomom or disclosed any info about her)

Jeesh, you took this totally personally and no one was directing it towards you at all. You are saying "we" like someone was talking about "you". No one was.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

My husband and I have been separated. I began seeing a man who decided to leave his wife for me. The day after I found out I was pregnant, he went back to his wife. My spouse does not want a divorce and knows that he will be placed on the birth record of this child due to being my legal spouse.

If my spouse is on the birth record as the legal father, does the biological father have any way to try to get visitation or custody. I do not want money from him. His wife is abusive to his other child (not hers biologically). Their house is filthy. Many animals in it. Looks like a home from that show, "How clean is your house?" Could this man take me to court for DNA testing even though the legal father on the birth record would be my husband? Please help.

But this guy was a good bet to father your child?

As has already been said, yes he does have the right to establish paternity and file for custody, visitation and/or child support.

You don't get to change your mind after your pants are pulled back up.

(there's admittedly mild curiosity as to how exactly you know his wife is abusive to his child - and why it was important to point out that she is not the child's biological parent. Would the abuse be somehow more forgivable if she was the child's biological Mom? )

 

[njparalegal]

i was in a similar situation...i knew nothing about the law then..(not that I know much in family now) the bio father established paternity,though i did not fight it...it has been a rough road..much conflict between both men...but i put myself in the situation...it appears in my case that the father has just as much legal rights as a mother...i never would have thought that years ago...times have changed...right off the bat the court awarded him 50% parenting time...week was split in half....best advice i can give is start saving for the best family attorney you can find

even though i didnt want the bio dad in my childs life at the time....it was the best thing for her..just put ur child first...its very hard but u need to find the strength to do for your child....its not about us

 

[Ohiogal]

i was in a similar situation...i knew nothing about the law then..(not that I know much in family now) the bio father

FATHER not BIO FATHER

established paternity,though i did not fight it...

How would you have fought it? By perjuring yourself?

it has been a rough road..much conflict between both men...but i put myself in the situation...it appears in my case that the father has just as much legal rights as a mother...

Yep. The uterus doesn't rule.

i never would have thought that years ago...times have changed...right off the bat the court awarded him 50% parenting time...week was split in half....

Good for dad.

best advice i can give is start saving for the best family attorney you can find

Might help but it will NOT prevent dad from being in his child's life.

even though i didnt want the bio dad in my childs life at the time....

Okay bio mom. Try using the word DAD and NOT bio dad.

it was the best thing for her..just put ur child first...its very hard but u need to find the strength to do for your child....its not about us

It ceased being about the adults when the child was born.