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Thread: limited custody

  1. #1
    mtsgrl Guest

    Question limited custody

    What is the name of your state? michigan , i have given limited custody of my now 16 yr daughter to my x-inlaws, our agreement does not say that i have to pay co-pays, they take to the dentist,doctor ect without my knowledge and then send me a bill for co-pays, i pay my monthly amount regularly and do not feel that i should be resposible for these extra amounts especially when i am not consulted at all about them, our agreement does state that i am to suppy medicaid which is a state medical insurance but because she does not live with me i am inelligible, however they could easily get medicaid themselves to pick up some of these co-pays, i can not afford my own insursance i have none, single mother with one child at home and the support i receive for him goes to them. they claim her on thier taxes then expect me to pay for school clothes, cheerleading uniforms, pictures ect. am i legal obligated to pay for these co-pays and extras ? i have two other children 1 still at home, this one was just uncontrollable, i am gratfull for their help and pay twice the amount that they said they would need, my daughter is not going to come back home like i had planned, i just pay the money and see her whenever i can, i feel they bad mouth me to her, and we have had a total breakdown in our relationship, they simply took over my kid and just want me to pay the bills, please advise.
  2. #2
    Grace_Adler is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    3,535
    Is there a court order for them to have custody? If not, they don't have custody and you should get your child and bring her home.

    Legally, unless there is a court order for child support, you don't have to give them anything. The money you give them is for food, shelter, clothes, ect. At least that's what child support covers, the necessities in life. However, it would be nice, morally, if you would help with the medical bills, extracurricular activities and other things but mostly medical. I mean you are her mother. In some states, they would order you to get medical insurance whether it was available at your job or not. Of course you shouldn't be expected to pay for everything, if they wanted custody, I believe they are responsible for help paying for some of this stuff. If I'm wrong I'm sure someone will correct me.

    I personally think you should call the local mental health dept. or whatever it's called and try to see if you can get you and your daughter in some counseling and try to get her back home.
  3. #3
    mtsgrl Guest

    reply

    there is a court order for limited custody so that they can put her in school, we origanally had her there until she could straighten up and then come home, they have bc/bs for her there and take her to counseling, i just found out that they are using it more for family counseling for the 3 of them instead of her future return. i am very low income and cannot afford any insurance, it is all i can do to pay the support that i pay them, i have attempted repay on some co-pays that i was included in but i am no longer consulted in any way, they took her to the hospital for a dislocated shoulder and i found out 2 days later when they mailed me the bill for the $45 co-pay, i am angry about this and have tried to discuss it with them to no avail, i just wanted to know if legally i am responsible, they also support their 2 grown children and their families and i don't feel that the my child should go without because the money i send goes to running the whole household which i feel is the case. the court order does not have co-pays checked, it does stated that they are supposed to provide shared transportation so that i can see my daughter and they do not.
  4. #4
    mtsgrl Guest

    Smile thank you grace

    thank you grace for your response and the more i think about it the more i believe you are right, i need to go get my daughter and bring her home. i think i will wait until the end of the school year, i will be getting married in march and will be able to change jobs or quit working if necessary to keep an eye on her, i am a little afraid of her, things were very very bad when she lived with me, and i'm afraid of going through that again but will have insurance after i'm married and can possible get help if needed, she will not want to come home, she has established a life there and is doing very well, i am very proud of her although she hates me for some reason that she does not know why.....it obviously is not working out for her return so i will have to make her return. i do miss her.
  5. #5
    Grace_Adler is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    3,535
    You're welcome. I really hope things work out.

    Legally you're not responsible to pay anything until there is a court order for child support.

    I would just tell her that you love and miss her and you want things to work out but you can't be a parent and friend too. However, that doesn't mean she can't come talk to you about things. That the things you do and say are because you love her and you're trying to be a good respsonible parent. I know teens think nothing's going to happen to them, they're invinsible. However if you didn't do the things you do and say you wouldn't love her or be a good parent and if anything happened that you could have helped prevent you can be held accountable and you also couldn't live with yourself. It's going to take some years for this to sink in.

    Let us know if it works out. Good Luck.

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