Long distance visitation

[My3KidsDad]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
California


I have sole physical custody of my kids and my concern is their mother wants them to visit at her location which is ~2500 miles away. I have no issue with her spending time with the kids but I have a huge issue with the distance they will be traveling to see her. I've made suggestions that she can come to my location to visit which would save ~$4000 in airfair. Since I have sole custody am I required to allow this visitation? Any help or advice is appreciated.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[SMinNJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
California


I have sole physical custody of my kids and my concern is their mother wants them to visit at her location which is ~2500 miles away. I have no issue with her spending time with the kids but I have a huge issue with the distance they will be traveling to see her. I've made suggestions that she can come to my location to visit which would save ~$4000 in airfair. Since I have sole custody am I required to allow this visitation? Any help or advice is appreciated.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Please tell us exactly what your order says about visitation for mom.

 

[My3KidsDad]

Here's a snippet of my mediation report:

9 After written notice and consultation, father as primary custodial caregiver
10 for the children, shall have the authority to exercise legal control of
11 the child, but shall not take any action that is inconsistent with the physical custody
12 order unless the Court expressly authorizes that action.
13
14 Mother shall have reasonable parenting time with the children with advance notice to
15 father of her intent to exercise parenting time with the children.


The Judge modified this stating that line 9-12 father has sole physical custody.


I hope thats helps.

 

[Zephyr]

if ex is paying for the flights then expense isn't an issue, how old are the kids that the travel would be an issue? where does the ex live?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

What are the ages of the children?

Is there any reason that you feel the children wouldn't be returned?

 

[My3KidsDad]

My kids are 12,9,7.

My ex is currently living in Hawaii with an Internet "boyfriend". She has some mental health issues that she still is trying to work through. I do have concerns about my kids being around this guy and whats happens when they are with her. She can be manipulative in what she tells them. I just don't know where I stand from a legal position on how much say I have in letting them go.

Also, the only address she has given me is a PO box. Don't I need a physical address of where my kids will be if they visit her, regardless of where she lives?

 

[proud_parent]

My kids are 12,9,7.

My ex is currently living in Hawaii with an Internet "boyfriend". She has some mental health issues that she still is trying to work through. I do have concerns about my kids being around this guy and whats happens when they are with her. She can be manipulative in what she tells them.

All of this is irrelevant.

I just don't know where I stand from a legal position on how much say I have in letting them go.

Honestly, you have no say. If the order says "Mother shall have reasonable parenting time...", you may not interfere with her exercise of that time. You need to rid yourself of the notion that being awarded sole physical custody gives you the power to approve or to deny visits at your own discretion.

If the court order does not restrict Mom to exercising visits within a certain geographic radius of your home, Mom is free to exercise her parenting time wherever she chooses.

Also, the only address she has given me is a PO box. Don't I need a physical address of where my kids will be if they visit her, regardless of where she lives?

IMO, yes -- you should know where your children will be and how to contact them. So when Mom gives you notice of her intent to exercise visitation, respond by requesting those details (if she doesn't provide them before then).

 

[My3KidsDad]

You need to rid yourself of the notion that being awarded sole physical custody gives you the power to approve or to deny visits at your own discretion.

This is why I asked the question in the first place. I was unaware of how much, or what type of "power" sole physical custody involves. I am in no way trying to keep my children from seeing her.

So when Mom gives you notice of her intent to exercise visitation, respond by requesting those details (if she doesn't provide them before then).

And if she refuses to provide that information then what? I can't make her release that information, or can I?

 

[Isis1]

This is why I asked the question in the first place. I was unaware of how much, or what type of "power" sole physical custody involves. I am in no way trying to keep my children from seeing her.



And if she refuses to provide that information then what? I can't make her release that information, or can I?

you can have that clarified with a court hearing.

 

[milspecgirl]

also unless stated in the papers, mom will have to pay all travel expense. when and for how long was her last visit? does she have regular contact now?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is standard visitation where you are?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If the children are to fly Unaccompanied Minor, the airlines will DEMAND an address to where the children are to go, along with contact information. Trust me - a PO box won't fly. get the info to fill out the form.

 

[My3KidsDad]

I just re-read my mediation report and under the Assessment/Findings section I came across this paragraph...

"In summary, a specific parenting plan for mother's parenting time with the children while in Hawaii will not be submitted at this time. Mother was clandestine in her discussion about where specifically she would be residing or when mother would be working. This mediator will recommend that mother have telephone and written correspondence with the children until her return to California. A review of the parties' criminal records check and discussions with the parties did not reveal any risk to the children by mother spending parenting time with the children. Hence, this mediator will recommend that mother have parenting time with the children upon her return from Hawaii and advance notification to father of her intent to exercise parenting time with the children."

The only thing the Judge changed was stated in post #3 of this thread.

I'm reading it as, while out of the state she has only written or telephone correspondence and upon her return parenting time will be allowed.

Does all the information suggested in this thread still hold true? Thanks again for all the feedback.

 

[stealth2]

I just re-read my mediation report and under the Assessment/Findings section I came across this paragraph...

"In summary, a specific parenting plan for mother's parenting time with the children while in Hawaii will not be submitted at this time. Mother was clandestine in her discussion about where specifically she would be residing or when mother would be working. This mediator will recommend that mother have telephone and written correspondence with the children until her return to California. A review of the parties' criminal records check and discussions with the parties did not reveal any risk to the children by mother spending parenting time with the children. Hence, this mediator will recommend that mother have parenting time with the children upon her return from Hawaii and advance notification to father of her intent to exercise parenting time with the children."

The only thing the Judge changed was stated in post #3 of this thread.

I'm reading it as, while out of the state she has only written or telephone correspondence and upon her return parenting time will be allowed.

Does all the information suggested in this thread still hold true? Thanks again for all the feedback.

The judge's order holds. The mediator's "recommendation" is nothing more than that and hold no weight until affirmed by the judge.

 

[TheGeekess]

The judge's order holds. The mediator's "recommendation" is nothing more than that and hold no weight until affirmed by the judge.

All the OP has quoted from has been the mediation report. He needs to be quoting from the CO, if he has it.