Long story, but needing some advice please and thank you!

[LdiJ]

I wasn't trying to make it seem like drama at all, just telling the situation as it is. I am not keeping his son from him and have told him plenty of times he can see him as he wishes, my sister whom we reside with though has requested that the new fiance not be in our home. All I asked him for was a couple days notice, but now after his father is the one that chose to only see him the 10 total times since birth, he wants me to let him take him out of our home for a whole day or overnight, I just don't see how I'm supposed to be okay with that when he refuses to tell me what time he will be back so I know how much to pump and save for him.

I am no longer in love with him, nor have feelings for him beyond the attachment of our son. We do have a child support plan in action, I just wondered if buying such things for our son, not me would matter. Hence, diapers etc. Furthermore, I do have a pump and have used it. He just is refusing to take a bottle - I have tried a good few times since he was 6weeks. His father expects me to pump and use all 20 some bags he gave me and then give him all of them.. He hasn't even tried coming over to give him a bottle, nor will he change diapers when he does visit.

I have also tried getting him to see him more, but he refuses without the fiance present.. I have given up on any sort of family situation, I just was telling the story again. I, now feel like a bad guy here.. I just didn't know what to do or what I had to stand on, since I keep getting made to feel like I'm doing this all wrong! Sigh...

Legally, until there are court orders stating otherwise, you can choose to give whatever visitation you feel is appropriate. If you feel that there is a chance that he wouldn't return the child at all, then it would probably be best to continue to require him to visit in your home until there are court orders.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Set the guidelines for what will work. If dad wants to see kiddo outside the home, then let HIM file for parenting time. Being that this is your sister's home, you need to respect her wishes. If she doesn't want his girlfriend in her house, then so be it. Tell dad that you need x amount of notice. Or say, here it is. For instance, you can say, dad can visit Tuesday and Thursday from 5-8 in the home. Maybe Saturday or Sunday from 10-2. Let dad know that if he wants anything beyond that, then it is on him to file in court.

I was never able the one to give the children a bottle - it always had to be someone else. So, let dad know that until kiddo will take from a bottle, kiddo isn't going anywhere. You need him to help the child get used to a bottle. And seriously, kiddo isn't going to take that bottle if you are in the room. BTWTT.

And if the girlfriends gets to be too interfering, you can have an attorney get a "no 3rd party interference" clause.

 

[Just Blue]

Set the guidelines for what will work. If dad wants to see kiddo outside the home, then let HIM file for parenting time. Being that this is your sister's home, you need to respect her wishes. If she doesn't want his girlfriend in her house, then so be it. Tell dad that you need x amount of notice. Or say, here it is. For instance, you can say, dad can visit Tuesday and Thursday from 5-8 in the home. Maybe Saturday or Sunday from 10-2. Let dad know that if he wants anything beyond that, then it is on him to file in court.

I was never able the one to give the children a bottle - it always had to be someone else. So, let dad know that until kiddo will take from a bottle, kiddo isn't going anywhere. You need him to help the child get used to a bottle. And seriously, kiddo isn't going to take that bottle if you are in the room. BTWTT.

And if the girlfriends gets to be too interfering, you can have an attorney get a "no 3rd party interference" clause.

Wtobe, You sould keep the bolded in mind when you go to court with boyfriend.

ETA: To clarify my post...

Wtobe is an over involved girlfriend who deleted her thread and was lerking on this one.