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  1. #1
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    Lying on Court documents

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

    Two years ago, my husband was granted joint custody of his son with his ex, but my husband and I provide the primary residence and the ex has weekend visitation. It was an ugly battle (aren't they all) but her life choices were so bad that the jugde couldn't help placing my step-son in our home. My step-son is thriving with us, but the ex hates us and has vowed to get her son back. We just received a summons and her petition to modify custody. She has had no substantial change in her situation and therefore no case, but she rants in the petition that we don't care for our son and that he should be placed in her home. She alleges that we abuse him and neglect him and that our home is unsafe, all of which are unfounded. I'm not really worried about most of her allegations because the Judge is extremely insightful and he will again see through her BS as he did two years ago. However, she made one statement in her rant that is a total lie and I'm wondering if it could be pursued in terms of criminal charges. She states in the petition that "Our son has asthma and there is dirt and dust everywhere {in our house}". This is a lie. He does not have asthma, has never been diagnosed with the condition by anyone. He is healthy as a horse and she knows this. I plan to submit a rebuttal to the Court regarding the allegations she made. Should I try to pursue her lie as offering a false intstrument for filing, a class A misdemeanor in NYS?

    Sorry I'm so long-winded. : ) Thank you.
  2. #2
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dorothymantooth View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

    Two years ago, my husband was granted joint custody of his son with his ex, but my husband and I provide the primary residence and the ex has weekend visitation. It was an ugly battle (aren't they all) but her life choices were so bad that the jugde couldn't help placing my step-son in our home. My step-son is thriving with us, but the ex hates us and has vowed to get her son back. We just received a summons and her petition to modify custody. She has had no substantial change in her situation and therefore no case, but she rants in the petition that we don't care for our son and that he should be placed in her home. She alleges that we abuse him and neglect him and that our home is unsafe, all of which are unfounded. I'm not really worried about most of her allegations because the Judge is extremely insightful and he will again see through her BS as he did two years ago. However, she made one statement in her rant that is a total lie and I'm wondering if it could be pursued in terms of criminal charges. She states in the petition that "Our son has asthma and there is dirt and dust everywhere {in our house}". This is a lie. He does not have asthma, has never been diagnosed with the condition by anyone. He is healthy as a horse and she knows this. I plan to submit a rebuttal to the Court regarding the allegations she made. Should I try to pursue her lie as offering a false intstrument for filing, a class A misdemeanor in NYS?

    Sorry I'm so long-winded. : ) Thank you.
    i'm crossing my fingers and hoping you aren't submitting ANYTHING. you shouldn't be pursuing anything. not your issue.

    the only thing that needs to be done, is for DAD to respond to the claim and provide proof otherwise. that's all.
  3. #3
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

    Two years ago, my husband was granted joint custody of his son with his ex, but my husband and I provide the primary residence and the ex has weekend visitation.
    No YOU do NOT. You are no one when it comes to this situation. Your husband provides for his son. YOU provide support for your husband but you are NOT this child's parent.

    It was an ugly battle (aren't they all) but her life choices were so bad that the jugde couldn't help placing my step-son in our home. My step-son is thriving with us, but the ex hates us and has vowed to get her son back.
    Okay.

    We just received a summons and her petition to modify custody.
    Really? YOU are listed as a party and custodian of this child? I find that hard to believe unless a grave mis-service of justice was committed.

    She has had no substantial change in her situation and therefore no case
    Your opinion. Which does. NOT. MATTER.

    but she rants in the petition that we don't care for our son and that he should be placed in her home.
    So you would keep her son and she would get YOUR son? Because your stepson is NOT YOUR child. YOU are a legal stranger. Think of yourself as a glorified babysitter who happens to sleep with the child's parent.

    She alleges that we abuse him and neglect him and that our home is unsafe, all of which are unfounded.
    Your opinion. Which. Does. NOT. Matter.

    I'm not really worried about most of her allegations because the Judge is extremely insightful and he will again see through her BS as he did two years ago. However, she made one statement in her rant that is a total lie and I'm wondering if it could be pursued in terms of criminal charges.
    Nope. You cannot do ANYTHING about it. Court documents are protected against claims of slander/libel/defamation.
    She states in the petition that "Our son has asthma and there is dirt and dust everywhere {in our house}". This is a lie.
    If you say so.

    He does not have asthma, has never been diagnosed with the condition by anyone. He is healthy as a horse and she knows this. I plan to submit a rebuttal to the Court regarding the allegations she made.
    YOU have NO RIGHT to submit anything. YOU ARE NO ONE! You are a legal stranger. YOU are NOT a party to this case.
    Should I try to pursue her lie as offering a false intstrument for filing, a class A misdemeanor in NYS?
    You should do NOTHING but learn your place.

    Sorry I'm so long-winded. : ) Thank you.
    I am sorry you are so ignorant of your legal standing.
    You are welcome.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  4. #4
    Ronin is offline Member
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    Your husband should just focus on rebutting the allegations made in the petition. If an allegation is untruthful, he should just point it out and leave it at that.
  5. #5
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dorothymantooth View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

    Two years ago, my husband was granted joint custody of his son with his ex, but my husband and I provide the primary residence and the ex has weekend visitation. It was an ugly battle (aren't they all) but her life choices were so bad that the jugde couldn't help placing my step-son in our home. My step-son is thriving with us, but the ex hates us and has vowed to get her son back. We just received a summons and her petition to modify custody. She has had no substantial change in her situation and therefore no case, but she rants in the petition that we don't care for our son and that he should be placed in her home. She alleges that we abuse him and neglect him and that our home is unsafe, all of which are unfounded. I'm not really worried about most of her allegations because the Judge is extremely insightful and he will again see through her BS as he did two years ago. However, she made one statement in her rant that is a total lie and I'm wondering if it could be pursued in terms of criminal charges. She states in the petition that "Our son has asthma and there is dirt and dust everywhere {in our house}". This is a lie. He does not have asthma, has never been diagnosed with the condition by anyone. He is healthy as a horse and she knows this. I plan to submit a rebuttal to the Court regarding the allegations she made. Should I try to pursue her lie as offering a false intstrument for filing, a class A misdemeanor in NYS?

    Sorry I'm so long-winded. : ) Thank you.
    In addition to the obvious point about you really needing to step back a little (because trust me, if YOU start doing anything on your husband's behalf in court you can seriously harm HIS custody. I kid you not. There is a reason we say this!), but I must ask:

    What criminal charges is your husband thinking about exactly? (As OG said court proceedings are protected from defamation, slander and/or libel suits but I'm curious where your husband is going with this).
  6. #6
    zoobiz is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Think of yourself as a glorified babysitter who happens to sleep with the child's parent.

    YOU ARE NO ONE!
    I can genuinely appreciate how it must irk you that so few Step-Parents understand their lack of legal standing, but if I or any new poster was to be as rude - posting in caps and deliberately attempting to demean people - as you are, I'm sure they would be banned immediately. You may be in an excellent position to give legal advice, but telling step parents they should think of themselves as "a glorified babysitter who happens to sleep with the child's parent" (and not even pre-facing that with 'in the legal context...') is frankly disgraceful.

    As I step parent, I posted a question on here some months ago, and the only replies I received were pointing out my errors (i.e. for asking what 'we' instead of 'my wife' could do about the legal problems we were having). There was no constructive answer given, even though those reading the post clearly understood the legal issues being raised.

    It's wonderful that there are people willing to take time to give free legal advice, and I'm sure it's frustrating (yet not entirely unsurprising) that some posters do not know every detail of family law - particularly with regard to the (lack of) legal standing of step-parents, but it just seems odd that when ever I do read posts on here, snide or open attacks on posters seem to dominate almost as much as constructive advice does.
  7. #7
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    As I step parent, I posted a question on here some months ago, and the only replies I received were pointing out my errors (i.e. for asking what 'we' instead of 'my wife' could do about the legal problems we were having). There was no constructive answer given, even though those reading the post clearly understood the legal issues being raised.
    Now that you've hijacked this for yourself....I just re-read your thread.

    Why didn't you do what was requested? It was a simple - and polite - request. You chose not to do so. Was there a reason for this? You would have received all the help you needed had you simply taken the time.
  8. #8
    zoobiz is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    Now that you've hijacked this for yourself....I just re-read your thread.

    Why didn't you do what was requested? It was a simple - and polite - request. You chose not to do so. Was there a reason for this? You would have received all the help you needed had you simply taken the time.
    I believe I did what was requested and edited my post - this can be seen in the original post (the edited post doesn't show up where people quoted the post before I edited it). I also apologised for my mistake.

    But we've moved way beyond what was there anyway (father has since abused child, lost his visitation, threatened me with violence etc etc...)

    And apologies to the OP for the hijack (although one could argue that once a poster starts insulting the OP (with a small filling of rancid advice) rather than offering constructive advice as you did, the post is already hijacked to an extent...)
    Last edited by zoobiz; 11-13-2009 at 07:21 PM.
  9. #9
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dorothymantooth View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

    Two years ago, my husband was granted joint custody of his son with his ex, but my husband and I provide the primary residence and the ex has weekend visitation. It was an ugly battle (aren't they all) but her life choices were so bad that the jugde couldn't help placing my step-son in our home. My step-son is thriving with us, but the ex hates us and has vowed to get her son back. We just received a summons and her petition to modify custody. She has had no substantial change in her situation and therefore no case, but she rants in the petition that we don't care for our son and that he should be placed in her home. She alleges that we abuse him and neglect him and that our home is unsafe, all of which are unfounded. I'm not really worried about most of her allegations because the Judge is extremely insightful and he will again see through her BS as he did two years ago. However, she made one statement in her rant that is a total lie and I'm wondering if it could be pursued in terms of criminal charges. She states in the petition that "Our son has asthma and there is dirt and dust everywhere {in our house}". This is a lie. He does not have asthma, has never been diagnosed with the condition by anyone. He is healthy as a horse and she knows this. I plan to submit a rebuttal to the Court regarding the allegations she made. Should I try to pursue her lie as offering a false intstrument for filing, a class A misdemeanor in NYS?
    Sorry I'm so long-winded. : ) Thank you.
    Litigants make false claims all the times on Petitions and in there affidavits .

    There is no criminal charges resulting from them .
  10. #10
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dorothymantooth View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

    Two years ago, my husband was granted joint custody of his son with his ex, but my husband and I provide the primary residence and the ex has weekend visitation. It was an ugly battle (aren't they all) but her life choices were so bad that the jugde couldn't help placing my step-son in our home. My step-son is thriving with us, but the ex hates us and has vowed to get her son back. We just received a summons and her petition to modify custody. She has had no substantial change in her situation and therefore no case, but she rants in the petition that we don't care for our son and that he should be placed in her home. She alleges that we abuse him and neglect him and that our home is unsafe, all of which are unfounded. I'm not really worried about most of her allegations because the Judge is extremely insightful and he will again see through her BS as he did two years ago. However, she made one statement in her rant that is a total lie and I'm wondering if it could be pursued in terms of criminal charges. She states in the petition that "Our son has asthma and there is dirt and dust everywhere {in our house}". This is a lie. He does not have asthma, has never been diagnosed with the condition by anyone. He is healthy as a horse and she knows this. I plan to submit a rebuttal to the Court regarding the allegations she made. Should I try to pursue her lie as offering a false intstrument for filing, a class A misdemeanor in NYS?

    Sorry I'm so long-winded. : ) Thank you.
    To answer your question... Unless you are an attorney licensed in NYS, YOU can not submit anything OR pursue her alleged lies. You are not a party to the case.

    (Note - I didn't realize that you were not the one who posted about editing your thread. However, much of the rest in the paragraph below is important for you to understand. So I'm not deleting it.)

    And while you may have edited the language in your prior thread, you obviously did not understand why you were asked to do so. We don't "harp" on the issue for skittles and laughs - we harp on it because to get used to using the language such as "we" and "our son" when discussing your husband's case and his son, it is all too easy for that to slip out in front of the judge. And that could seriously harm Dad's case. Also, that tends to anger the other parent - which makes any sort of even semi-peaceful resolution almost impossible. I can tell you that my ex's wife's insistence on being up our business when it comes to our children has done more than anything else to irreparably damage our parenting relationship. We may have been able to salvage something otherwise.

    So seriously - back off on the language. Come to terms why it's important to do so. If for no other reason, but to help your husband. And, by connection, your stepson.
    Last edited by stealth2; 11-14-2009 at 06:35 AM.
  11. #11
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by zoobiz View Post
    I can genuinely appreciate how it must irk you that so few Step-Parents understand their lack of legal standing, but if I or any new poster was to be as rude - posting in caps and deliberately attempting to demean people - as you are, I'm sure they would be banned immediately. You may be in an excellent position to give legal advice, but telling step parents they should think of themselves as "a glorified babysitter who happens to sleep with the child's parent" (and not even pre-facing that with 'in the legal context...') is frankly disgraceful.

    As I step parent, I posted a question on here some months ago, and the only replies I received were pointing out my errors (i.e. for asking what 'we' instead of 'my wife' could do about the legal problems we were having). There was no constructive answer given, even though those reading the post clearly understood the legal issues being raised.

    It's wonderful that there are people willing to take time to give free legal advice, and I'm sure it's frustrating (yet not entirely unsurprising) that some posters do not know every detail of family law - particularly with regard to the (lack of) legal standing of step-parents, but it just seems odd that when ever I do read posts on here, snide or open attacks on posters seem to dominate almost as much as constructive advice does.
    Many of us will simply not provide any but the most cursory of answers to third parties. I know I don't. I tend to either not respond at all, or to request that they have the parent register and post for themselves.

    I will agree that there are times when replies go a bit far in the brow-beating. But that's usually frustration speaking, as all of "language" stuff is clearly spelled out in the sticky for newbies right at the top of the board. So it's obvious that someone either didn't bother to read or simply didn't care to understand.
  12. #12
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by zoobiz View Post
    I can genuinely appreciate how it must irk you that so few Step-Parents understand their lack of legal standing, but if I or any new poster was to be as rude - posting in caps and deliberately attempting to demean people - as you are, I'm sure they would be banned immediately. You may be in an excellent position to give legal advice, but telling step parents they should think of themselves as "a glorified babysitter who happens to sleep with the child's parent" (and not even pre-facing that with 'in the legal context...') is frankly disgraceful.

    As I step parent, I posted a question on here some months ago, and the only replies I received were pointing out my errors (i.e. for asking what 'we' instead of 'my wife' could do about the legal problems we were having). There was no constructive answer given, even though those reading the post clearly understood the legal issues being raised.

    It's wonderful that there are people willing to take time to give free legal advice, and I'm sure it's frustrating (yet not entirely unsurprising) that some posters do not know every detail of family law - particularly with regard to the (lack of) legal standing of step-parents, but it just seems odd that when ever I do read posts on here, snide or open attacks on posters seem to dominate almost as much as constructive advice does.
    Again, your opinion does NOT matter. I answered this poster and gave her legal facts. You posted a question and didn't get answers you wanted? Not my problem. You are now hijacking which is ANOTHER issue in violation of the rules on this board. Try growing up. This stepparent was answered. She was told that legally there is nothing wrong with what has gone on. I note that she refuses to answer how SHE is listed as a custodian when she is a LEGAL stranger. Which I told her. I then told her to THINK OF HERSELF in that manner (as a glorified babysitter) as a way of describing what a legal stranger is. She is a legal stranger. She has no rights. You have no rights. The fact that you cannot comprehend what has been written is what is disgraceful.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  13. #13
    zoobiz is offline Junior Member
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    I believe the OP has received a large number of constructive responses to their post. If they have any sense, they will file nothing, and will simply support their husband in any upcoming case. I do not believe the response below constitutes hijacking the thread. But of course, my opinion does NOT matter


    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Again, your opinion does NOT matter. I answered this poster and gave her legal facts. You posted a question and didn't get answers you wanted? Not my problem. You are now hijacking which is ANOTHER issue in violation of the rules on this board. Try growing up. This stepparent was answered. She was told that legally there is nothing wrong with what has gone on. I note that she refuses to answer how SHE is listed as a custodian when she is a LEGAL stranger. Which I told her. I then told her to THINK OF HERSELF in that manner (as a glorified babysitter) as a way of describing what a legal stranger is. She is a legal stranger. She has no rights. You have no rights. The fact that you cannot comprehend what has been written is what is disgraceful.
    I fully comprehended what was written, and clearly stated as much.

    I am sorry that your life is so difficult. As someone who is as much of an expert in psychology as you are in law, I would strongly recommend that you contact one of the organizations below. It will enable you to be a better person and most likely a better lawyer too. Of course your problems may be more deep-rooted than a mere lack of anger management, but without a full evaluation, I could not diagnose.
    Last edited by m martin; 11-15-2009 at 12:48 PM.
  14. #14
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    I haven't been able to get back to the forum until now and I am surprised at the trouble I have stirred up. I am also deeply saddened by how ugly and demeaning some of you folks are to people who ask innocent questions.

    I was asking on behalf of my husband, who I stand behind and help whenever I can. I have never submitted anything to Court nor have I spoken during any Court proceedings and don't plan to unless asked by the Judge. All research and paperwork I have done was shown to my husband and then went to our attorney in the past. After paying $17000 (yes that's thousand, not hundred, which is alot for a couple who makes less than 50 grand a year and have 2 kids in the home) on our lawyer the first time around, we need to do this one on our own if possible or we will go bankrupt and lose our home. You're right, I didn't read the sticky until after I posted the question, I didn't notice it until after. If I had read it first I may not have asked a question at all because your sticky shows, as did some of the answers to me, just how nasty you are to step-parents. Most of us know we don't have any legal rights, but that doesn't mean we can't ask questions, does it?

    I may be nothing but a glorified babysitter but I didn't try to move my son from a safe small town to the middle of the ghetto of a large city with my crackhead boyfriend in the middle of the night without telling my son's dad where his son was going. I have been his MOM since he was 2, I tuck him in and read to him every night. She does not. I have attended every doctor appointment and held him through every shot while he cried. She has not. I go over his school papers with him every night and I have gone to every school meeting and chaperoned every school field trip. She couldn't be bothered to go to his Pre-K graduation. I feed him nutritious meals and make sure the movies he watches and the games he plays are appropriate to his age. She gives him candy and McDonald's and lets him play Grand Theft Auto all weekend with no supervision. I do not say anything negative to him about his mother. She tries to make him believe that I am a monster.

    I truly appreciate the advice that I received. My husband will be responding to the petition and rebutting every lie as well as supplying school reports and medical records. You can be sure that I will be the one that gets the information together and types it up. Because he's MY son too. The Court doesn't recognize that but I know it is true.

    Ohiogal, I want to thank you especially for your nastiness which actually made me cry. I wanted some advice and boy did I get it. I noticed that other folks answered my question with much less hatred and anger. You were extremely insulting to me and to step-parents and women in general. I am not stupid and I understand what was written. What is truly disgraceful is the way you treat people. I truly hope that you aren't like this in "real life" because you must be extremely lonely. Thank God you aren't a doctor because your bedside manner sucks.
  15. #15
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dorothymantooth View Post
    I haven't been able to get back to the forum until now and I am surprised at the trouble I have stirred up. I am also deeply saddened by how ugly and demeaning some of you folks are to people who ask innocent questions.

    I was asking on behalf of my husband, who I stand behind and help whenever I can. I have never submitted anything to Court nor have I spoken during any Court proceedings and don't plan to unless asked by the Judge. All research and paperwork I have done was shown to my husband and then went to our attorney in the past. After paying $17000 (yes that's thousand, not hundred, which is alot for a couple who makes less than 50 grand a year and have 2 kids in the home) on our lawyer the first time around, we need to do this one on our own if possible or we will go bankrupt and lose our home. You're right, I didn't read the sticky until after I posted the question, I didn't notice it until after. If I had read it first I may not have asked a question at all because your sticky shows, as did some of the answers to me, just how nasty you are to step-parents. Most of us know we don't have any legal rights, but that doesn't mean we can't ask questions, does it?

    I may be nothing but a glorified babysitter but I didn't try to move my son from a safe small town to the middle of the ghetto of a large city with my crackhead boyfriend in the middle of the night without telling my son's dad where his son was going. I have been his MOM since he was 2, I tuck him in and read to him every night. She does not. I have attended every doctor appointment and held him through every shot while he cried. She has not. I go over his school papers with him every night and I have gone to every school meeting and chaperoned every school field trip. She couldn't be bothered to go to his Pre-K graduation. I feed him nutritious meals and make sure the movies he watches and the games he plays are appropriate to his age. She gives him candy and McDonald's and lets him play Grand Theft Auto all weekend with no supervision. I do not say anything negative to him about his mother. She tries to make him believe that I am a monster.

    I truly appreciate the advice that I received. My husband will be responding to the petition and rebutting every lie as well as supplying school reports and medical records. You can be sure that I will be the one that gets the information together and types it up. Because he's MY son too. The Court doesn't recognize that but I know it is true.

    Ohiogal, I want to thank you especially for your nastiness which actually made me cry. I wanted some advice and boy did I get it. I noticed that other folks answered my question with much less hatred and anger. You were extremely insulting to me and to step-parents and women in general. I am not stupid and I understand what was written. What is truly disgraceful is the way you treat people. I truly hope that you aren't like this in "real life" because you must be extremely lonely. Thank God you aren't a doctor because your bedside manner sucks.
    No you are not the child's mom. What you are is going to lose your husband custody. You did not comprehend what ws written. Nor do I need a bedside manner. I am too busy cleaning up the messes caused by over interfering legal strangers and parents that just don't get it. You might have cried but that doesn't mean you understand a bit of it. YOU are NOT the child's mom. YOU ARE NO ONE. YOU are legally a stranger. The child is NOT your son. You state you are not stupid but you can't prove it by the postings here. You have been told the legal truth. You refuse to accept it.

    Mom is allowed to feed HER SON candy and McDonald's. She is allowed to allow him to play video games and stay up all night. She is allowed to parent that way.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.

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