Make A Wish 'blunder'!

[electra67]

What is the name of your state? Kentucky

My husband's two daughters (age 5 & 8) are being taken to Disneyland on Monday for a week long vacation compliments of Make A Wish Foundation. The 5 year old has SEVERE CP and is basically, a vegetable. She cannot walk, see, eat (feeding tube in intestines), or communicate in any way, shape, or form. This trip has been planned for months for the two girls and their mother to go.

Last week, it was discovered that the handicapped child's hip is completely out of socket and is scheduled for surgery next month for it. It causes her severe pain.

Her grandmother, concerned, called Make A Wish to complain that this child should NOT be traveling. They said 'she was 'cleared' by her doctor to go stating the trip would 'calm her'... Obviously, this was from a report WAY back when the trip was planned. Her hip problem was diagnosed only last week. My husband does NOT want her being taken on this trip. He doesn't mind the mother and other child going (although, it is quite obvious the mother did this to get a 'free vacation' out of a charity - this trip should go to a coherent child who's dieing).

Can he stop her from being taken on this trip? If so, how? (he has joint custody - btw)

[moburkes]

Why is the grandmother calling instead of the father?

Did you really mean to compare the child to a vegetable?

[CJane]

Originally Posted by electra67

What is the name of your state? Kentucky

My husband's two daughters (age 5 & 8) are being taken to Disneyland on Monday for a week long vacation compliments of Make A Wish Foundation. The 5 year old has SEVERE CP and is basically, a vegetable. She cannot walk, see, eat (feeding tube in intestines), or communicate in any way, shape, or form. This trip has been planned for months for the two girls and their mother to go.

Last week, it was discovered that the handicapped child's hip is completely out of socket and is scheduled for surgery next month for it. It causes her severe pain.

If it's so severe, why was surgery scheduled so far out?

Her grandmother, concerned, called Make A Wish to complain that this child should NOT be traveling. They said 'she was 'cleared' by her doctor to go stating the trip would 'calm her'... Obviously, this was from a report WAY back when the trip was planned. Her hip problem was diagnosed only last week.

Grandmother had no right to do-so.

My husband does NOT want her being taken on this trip. He doesn't mind the mother and other child going (although, it is quite obvious the mother did this to get a 'free vacation' out of a charity - this trip should go to a coherent child who's dieing).

Your husband doesn't get to decide if it's not on his time. Also, it's pretty difficult to fool the Make-a-Wish Foundation. Maybe you're just pissed that you and dad aren't going?

Can he stop her from being taken on this trip? If so, how? (he has joint custody - btw)

Nope, not unless he has time to get into court, prove that it would be dangerous for the child to go, and get a restraining order to keep her from taking the child.

So... no.

[electra67]

Sorry if 'vegetable' wasn't P/C... I probably should have said 'vegetative-state'.

The grandmother jumped the gun and called first because the ex told her first about the hip.

We do not know why the surgery is scheduled so far off, but he plans on finding out. He's been kept in the dark about most of her medical procedures until after the fact...

No, we don't want to 'go' to Disneyland - btw. (don't you think that was a little 'harsh'?) We are happy the 8 year old is getting to fly in a plane for the first time. We don't understand why this association is allowing this trip as scheduled when the child is in this condition. The ex is the one that's 'insisting' that the child is in 'terrible pain'... Then doesn't ask to delay the trip until after her surgery????

[Ohiogal]

Quite frankly you need to back off and let the children enjoy the trip.

[casa]

Originally Posted by electra67

What is the name of your state? Kentucky

My husband's two daughters (age 5 & 8) are being taken to Disneyland on Monday for a week long vacation compliments of Make A Wish Foundation. The 5 year old has SEVERE CP and is basically, a vegetable. She cannot walk, see, eat (feeding tube in intestines), or communicate in any way, shape, or form. This trip has been planned for months for the two girls and their mother to go.

Last week, it was discovered that the handicapped child's hip is completely out of socket and is scheduled for surgery next month for it. It causes her severe pain.

Her grandmother, concerned, called Make A Wish to complain that this child should NOT be traveling. They said 'she was 'cleared' by her doctor to go stating the trip would 'calm her'... Obviously, this was from a report WAY back when the trip was planned. Her hip problem was diagnosed only last week. My husband does NOT want her being taken on this trip. He doesn't mind the mother and other child going (although, it is quite obvious the mother did this to get a 'free vacation' out of a charity - this trip should go to a coherent child who's dieing).

Can he stop her from being taken on this trip? If so, how? (he has joint custody - btw)

Unless/Until a Dr. determines the child cannot travel...the child should be allowed to go. If the treating Dr. determines it's medically inappropriate, ask for a letter stating such which can be given to Make A Wish in order to postpone the trip.

[nicksmom]

Make-A-Wish routinely re-schedules planned wish trips...it's not a problem. It's the nature of their business...dealing with medically fragile and/or dying children, whose condition can change very rapidly. Maybe dad & mom should discuss this, and aske MAW to reschedule. I can almost guarantee it wouldn't be problematic. As a pediatric oncology nurse, I field calls almost daily from MAW and parents about issues that may affect the trip.

[Ohiogal]

Yeah but MAW doesn't need to reschedule except for the fact that stepmom is on here griping about it. There doesn't seem to be a medical reason for the trip to be rescheduled except stepmom and dad are up in arms and grandma is interfering.

[Inquiry123]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

There doesn't seem to be a medical reason for the trip to be rescheduled

OG: Your comment reminded me of Clark Griswold in "Vacation"...when Chevy Chase decides to strap his wife's deceased Aunt Edna to the top of the station wagon in order to continue on the family trip to Wally World! Thanks for the laugh! Speaking of movies...I love the scene in "Million Dollar Baby" when boxer Maggie Fitzgerald's "family" comes to California to visit her in the hospital AFTER spending a few days at Disneyland.

OP: Since Dad has joint custody, I imagine the easiest way to put the brakes on this Kentucky-sideshow is to have Dad contact MAW directly and protest the trip explaining the child's changed medical situation. If that doesn't slow things down, I'd be on my way to court today for an emergency order to stop the trip.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Inquiry123

OG: Your comment reminded me of Clark Griswold in "Vacation"...when Chevy Chase decides to strap his wife's deceased Aunt Edna to the top of the station wagon in order to continue on the family trip to Wally World! Thanks for the laugh! Speaking of movies...I love the scene in "Million Dollar Baby" when boxer Maggie Fitzgerald's "family" comes to California to visit her in the hospital AFTER spending a few days at Disneyland.

OP: Since Dad has joint custody, I imagine the easiest way to put the brakes on this Kentucky-sideshow is to have Dad contact MAW directly and protest the trip explaining the child's changed medical situation. If that doesn't slow things down, I'd be on my way to court today for an emergency order to stop the trip.

And unless they can PROVE that a doctor has stated this child should NOT go on the trip then Dad will be doing nothing but being a jerk and piss the judge off. But hey if they want to be selfish they can. If the child's doctor was stating the child should not go on this trip that would be one thing. Where do you see that OP has stated that? Oh yeah. NOWHERE. Instead there is no medical opinion from the child's treating physicians stating that the trip is a bad idea.

[ProSeDadinMD]

This...

Originally Posted by electra67

......The 5 year old has SEVERE CP and is basically, a vegetable. She cannot walk, see, eat (feeding tube in intestines), or communicate in any way, shape, or form.....

And this....

Originally Posted by electra67

..... It causes her severe pain.

...are only mildly contradictary, dontcha think? I mean, how would you know?

[Inquiry123]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

If the child's doctor was stating the child should not go on this trip that would be one thing.

OP: Has Dad talked to doc? How 'bout Sleepy or Grumpy?

[Shay-Pari'e]

This OP is a troll and I have responded to most of her threads tonight.

[electra67]

Okay folks - since some of you people have nothing better to do than make assumptions (I didn't think attorneys were supposed to do that???) that I'm some kind of 'evil-step' mom and the handicapped child's father is some kind of deadbeat... YOU ARE WRONG. So you really need to stop with your snide remarks, okay?

Here are the facts as they stand right now:

I have only seen the child once, briefly - so while I don't know what her normal 'reactions' are, it is what I have been told by her relatives.

This is the 3rd time her hip is out of socket and needs surgery - again. I am told it causes her severe pain and she cries or grimaces when moved around.

My husband just finds out WEDNESDAY - that NOW the child has an infection in her stomach, probably around her feeding tube, is running a fever, and probably has an ear infection also.... THEY ARE STILL LEAVING ON MONDAY MORNING ON A PLANE FOR FLORIDA.

Those are the FACTS. Now, my husband called her doctor's office yesterday to question his opinion about this trip and her current condition - NOBODY answered (he called at 3:30 when he got off work early to call). When he saw her yesterday, picking up his other daughter for the weekend, the sick child was fussy and didn't smile when he talked to her (she likes his voice). He said she is clearly not feeling well. He is still concerned she should be hospitalized and shouldn't be going on the trip but thinks there is nothing he can do.

I think Make A Wish could postpone, or make accommodations to care for her while the mother and other child go and enjoy themselves. I just found out we (including grandmother) can't take her for the week because we are not 'certified' to maintain a certain machine she is on). If she is sick, in pain, and cries the whole trip, I don't think it's going to make for a relaxing vacation for any of them.

(insert heavy sarcasm here But ya know what? According to some of you, I'm just the 'evil, uncaring-stepmom', so why should I care? It's not my kid after all.....right? (heavy sarcasm now ending for paragraph)

I adore the 8 year old and she loves me to death also. We have a great relationship. I'd hate to see the trip ruined for her. Her mother neglects her too much because of the handicapped child as it is (and yes, I have PROOF - so don't even GO there! You have no clue to what this poor child is going through...) - the scenario won't change, even with the trip, if mom has to pay 100% attention on the sick child, as usual. It will do nothing to strengthen their relationship that is currently starting to unravel (different subject).

[casa]

Originally Posted by electra67

Okay folks - since some of you people have nothing better to do than make assumptions (I didn't think attorneys were supposed to do that???) that I'm some kind of 'evil-step' mom and the handicapped child's father is some kind of deadbeat... YOU ARE WRONG. So you really need to stop with your snide remarks, okay?

Here are the facts as they stand right now:

I have only seen the child once, briefly - so while I don't know what her normal 'reactions' are, it is what I have been told by her relatives.

This is the 3rd time her hip is out of socket and needs surgery - again. I am told it causes her severe pain and she cries or grimaces when moved around.

My husband just finds out WEDNESDAY - that NOW the child has an infection in her stomach, probably around her feeding tube, is running a fever, and probably has an ear infection also.... THEY ARE STILL LEAVING ON MONDAY MORNING ON A PLANE FOR FLORIDA.

Those are the FACTS. Now, my husband called her doctor's office yesterday to question his opinion about this trip and her current condition - NOBODY answered (he called at 3:30 when he got off work early to call). When he saw her yesterday, picking up his other daughter for the weekend, the sick child was fussy and didn't smile when he talked to her (she likes his voice). He said she is clearly not feeling well. He is still concerned she should be hospitalized and shouldn't be going on the trip but thinks there is nothing he can do.

I think Make A Wish could postpone, or make accommodations to care for her while the mother and other child go and enjoy themselves. I just found out we (including grandmother) can't take her for the week because we are not 'certified' to maintain a certain machine she is on). If she is sick, in pain, and cries the whole trip, I don't think it's going to make for a relaxing vacation for any of them.

(insert heavy sarcasm here But ya know what? According to some of you, I'm just the 'evil, uncaring-stepmom', so why should I care? It's not my kid after all.....right? (heavy sarcasm now ending for paragraph)

I adore the 8 year old and she loves me to death also. We have a great relationship. I'd hate to see the trip ruined for her. Her mother neglects her too much because of the handicapped child as it is (and yes, I have PROOF - so don't even GO there! You have no clue to what this poor child is going through...) - the scenario won't change, even with the trip, if mom has to pay 100% attention on the sick child, as usual. It will do nothing to strengthen their relationship that is currently starting to unravel (different subject).

As much as YOU don't want to be labeled...neither do I. I gave you the advice you (Dad) needed. It still stands.

Dad must contact Dr. and find out what Dr. advises. THEN Dad can contact MAW. They certainly Can & DO reschedule trips all the time. If the Mom is the problem in this equation~ well, then, Sorry. Your Man will have to lie in the bed he made.