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  1. #1
    Mommy711 is offline Member
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    Is This Medical Neglect?

    What is the name of your state? Indiana

    I would like to keep this short so I am willing to answer whatever questions you have to better help me, but I have too many details to possibly list them all in one post.

    My dd 8 lives with her father. I lost custody 5 months ago after a long custody battle tha lasted over 4 years. Our hearing lasted 6 months. At the last hearing the judge dismsissed the GAL, finally, and gave me visitation according to the State Guidelines. Prior to that the GAL was trying to do everything possible to insure that i never saw my dd again. I did not abuse my daughter or neglect her ever in any way. I am a victim of domestic violence. I had my ex boyfriend arrest 2x's for assaulting me, although the assaluts actually went on for years before I finally called the police. My ex denies ever hitting me. He plead guilty to both charges, but now he claims I assaulted him and it was all self defense! The evaluator and the GAL bought his story and defended him every chance they got!

    Now my dd lives with her father. She has sever allergies to trees, ragweed, and dust. I have always known this and taken measures to prevent it. Her dad refuses to give her medication and will not do anything to prevent the allegic reations. He took her for allergy testing and it confirmed what the doctor had told me about her allergies. Now her dad claims that he is following the doctor's recommendations by avoiding the allergans He is not! He has her outside. He does not have air conditioning and has open windows. My dd also wears clothing that doesn't fit. She smells bad, and she is dirty. Is this neglect grounds for me to file for custody? My dd cannot breath. She has a stuffy nose, horrible cough, headache, and her eyes are bloodshot and swollen so she can barely see.

    If this neglect is not grounds for an emergency petition what would be?
    Last edited by Mommy711; 05-07-2008 at 02:33 PM.
  2. #2
    summerdawn is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mommy711 View Post
    What is the name of your state? Indiana

    I would like to keep this short so I am willing to answer whatever questions you have to better help me, but I have too many details to possibly list them all in one post.

    My dd 8 lives with her father. I lost custody 5 months ago after a long custody battle tha lasted over 4 years. Our hearing lasted 6 months. At the last hearing the judge dismsissed the GAL, finally, and gave me visitation according to the State Guidelines. Prior to that the GAL was trying to do everything possible to insure that i never saw my dd again. I did not abuse my daughter or neglect her ever in any way. I am a victim of domestic violence. I had my ex boyfriend arrest 2x's for assaulting me, although the assaluts actually went on for years before I finally called the police. My ex denies ever hitting me. He plead guilty to both charges, but now he claims I assaulted him and it was all self defense! The evaluator and the GAL bought his story and defended him every chance they got!

    Now my dd lives with her father. She has sever allergies to trees, ragweed, and dust. I have always known this and taken measures to prevent it. Her dad refuses to give her medication and will not do anything to prevent the allegic reations. He took her for allergy testing and it confirmed what the doctor had told me about her allergies. Now her dad claims that he is following the doctor's recommendations by avoiding the allergans He is not! He has her outside. He does not have air conditioning and has open windows. My dd also wears clothing that doesn't fit. She smells bad, and she is dirty. Is this neglect grounds for me to file for custody? My dd cannot breath. She has a stuffy nose, horrible cough, headache, and her eyes are bloodshot and swollen so she can barely see.

    If this neglect is not grounds for an emergency petition what would be?What is the name of your state?
    She's not allowed to go outside or near open windows?
  3. #3
    Mommy711 is offline Member
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    She can go outside, but she is not supposed to spend extended amounts of time outside, and she should not be sleeping with her windows open. She needs purified, clean air. Not all of the dust and pollen. She spends hours outside at her dad's inthe park at in their yard full of trees and flowers. If she had allergy medication she would be fine, but without any she has reactions so severe resemble asthma attacks.
  4. #4
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    Has your daughter missed any school because of being ill/suffering from allergy symptoms? Have you had to take her to the doctor when you have her after she has been at her dads? Has the doctor reccommended medication that your ex will not give her? If the doctor has reccommended medication, and he is not giving it, this could be grounds for medical neglect. The fact that he lets her be outdoors, or has open windows is fairly irrelevant, but if he is neglecting to give medications for allergies and she is suffering - that is another matter. Speak with her doctor to find out if the medication is optional, or if the doctor believes she needs it on a daily basis.

    My daughter (and myself) have to take dailly medication for allergies - so I can sympathize.

    I wish you luck.
  5. #5
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    he had charges of domestic violence against you. but not your daughter?

    were you trying to keep him away from your daughter within the custody battle? limit visitation?

    as for the medical neglect, take your daughter to her doctor's for a check up. if he sees no neglect (without you announcing it) then it might be a cause for concern. if she smells bad, give her a bath everytime she visits.
  6. #6
    Mommy711 is offline Member
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    The charges were for violence against me. both times. My daughter was present and witnessed the second attack.

    I did not try to keep him from visitation. The GAL lied on the stand and said that I asked to terminate his parental rights. (It was later discovered that the GAL is friends with my ex's new wife. They went to colloege together) I did asked that the father receive supervised vistation after my aughter had bruises and reported being abused by her father. The judge we had at the time granted that request. The new judge (they filed for a change of venue) gave dad custody.

    I cannot take her to the doctor becasue I do not have custody of her. I was told that only the custodial parent can take the child to the doctor. Is that incorrect?
    Last edited by Mommy711; 05-07-2008 at 02:53 PM. Reason: additional comment.
  7. #7
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    who told you that? the judge? the court order?

    he has physical custody. what is the status on legal custody?
  8. #8
    Mommy711 is offline Member
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    Actually I was told that by my attorney when I had sole legal and physical custody. The judge granted her dad sole legal and physical custody.

    I wanted to file and appeal, but I took the order to several attorneys they all told me that it was not appealable because neither attorney filed for facts and findings (?) I don't know what that is, but the whole order is about 2 pages long including the signatures, and the paragraphs about the GAL fees.


    The judge actually said previously that dad should email me info about her medical information, doctor visits, etc, but if I complain about anything she'd put a stop to it and possibly take away my visitation!
  9. #9
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    from what i understand, appeals are only for when the judge makes a legal mistake. not because you didn't like the ruling. and from the looks of it...if you were to bring this to court, it may look like you are shooting for a change of custody, not for medical attention for your daughter.

    wait for the sneniors to clarify, but check your state's definition of legal custody. i always thought it to mean MAJOR medical decisions and changes. not a check up.
  10. #10
    Mommy711 is offline Member
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    Thank you. That is what I had thought too. I posted a question about taking her to the doctor in general. I am concerned about her. She is breathing hard. She keeps going to the school nurse durig the day. They cannot do anything for her. Her dad took her to the doctor and received eye drops. He will not use them.
  11. #11
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mommy711 View Post
    Thank you. That is what I had thought too. I posted a question about taking her to the doctor in general. I am concerned about her. She is breathing hard. She keeps going to the school nurse durig the day. They cannot do anything for her. Her dad took her to the doctor and received eye drops. He will not use them.
    You are allowed to secure emergency care for your daughter. If you do not do that then that is neglect. If you know there is a problem and you haven't discussed it with dad for HIM to get an appointment, you are being neglectful. How do you know he is not using them?
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  12. #12
    Mommy711 is offline Member
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    Dad has stated that he does not believe in allergies. He received perscriptions for allergy medication from 2 different doctors, and threw them away. The pharmacy and her medical insurance have no records of the perscriptions ever being filled. I did obtain emergency medical treatment for my daughter several times. She was given breathing treatments twice at the ER. She was given an inhaler, and I was told by the doctor to file for a change in visitation, so that she would not be with her dad when she needed medication. I did that and it was denied. Sicne then I lost custody. Dad said that he does not believe in allergies. He took her to an allergist to prove that she does not have allergies. She tested positive for allergies! Of course, becasue she has had them for several years! She is not being given the medication perscribed by the doctor. I will see if I can file an emergency order before she ends up admitted to the hospital. The teacher keeps sending her to the nurse at school, and she has horrible bloodshot eyes. I was able to bring her allergies under control last night.

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