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is this medical neglect

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Isis1

Senior Member
California

okay, so i took a day to think this through and not be so pissed off. I am CP, NCP "lost" custody last year over a year long custody issue. recent court orders are there is to be supervised only visitation with the paternal grandmother. children are not to be left there without dad present since there is drugs in her home.

okay. so this weekend is dad's weekend. he drops off the boys, 10yr and 6yr at 8am as usual. however 10yr old walks in the house with a thumb swollen twice it's size and with black bruising all around. asked son what happened, he said it happened at grandma's house. no one took him to a doctor. i take him to the nearest clinic down the street. they say they can't take him on his insurance. so we walk an hour and a half to his primary doctor. i have absolutely no money otherwise i would have bussed it to the emergency room. we wait for a few hours since it's walk in status only. doctor takes a look, says it appears to be broken, refers us to another clinic for x-rays. that clinic is not within walking distance. so i go home, feed kids, call dad. ask him why he didn't take him to the ER or even say anything about it to me. dad said he didn't think it was broken. dad has taken kid in for a sprained pinky finger and a boil on his own, it didn't ring right that a thumb so enlarged didn't ring any bells with this guy. called x-ray place to get address, found it would be closed by the time i got a ride (4pm). they said to come early the next day. i get a ride to the ER later that evening instead. thumb is broken doc puts a cast on it.

here's the problem. 6 yr old made a comment about dad picking them up from grandma's house THAT morning to drop them off at my house because he had to work. so not only was 10 yr old's medical needs neglected, but there is a high possibility dad left them at grandma's house unsupervised. i can't ask the kids to elaborate. they know they aren't supposed to be there. dad told them i said they can't go to grandma's house anymore. not the case, judge ordered it without me even bringing it up at the court hearing.

is this not medical neglect? is there something i can do about it?
 


CourtClerk

Senior Member
I'm surprised that the doctor put a cast on a broken thumb, that's not protocol as I understand it. Usually they splint it and send you on your way.

Is it medical neglect? Maybe. Did the thumb look like that when he left dad's house? Did the 10 year old say "dad, look at my thumb!!!" Quite honestly, I've broken a finger and I never went to the doctor. Why? Because the last time I went for a broken finger they told me that other than splint it, there's nothing to do with it.

You can tell dad that son broke his finger. Give son some tylenol for the pain.
 

lealea1005

Senior Member
I'm surprised that the doctor put a cast on a broken thumb, that's not protocol as I understand it. Usually they splint it and send you on your way.
It depends upon where the fracture is. They'll cast it if the fracture is in the thumb pad/hand, but will usually splint it if it's just the thumb itself.
 

penelope10

Senior Member
Lil Bit is the least athletic of my children, bless her. For some reason, in the first grade, she decided to take a plastic shoe box out in the backyard and do step aerobics. (And yes, I didn't know that she took the shoe box out there). Anyway, she feel off the shoe box, landed on her elbow in the grass, and broke it.

Now my older two kids were pretty tough when they were young. They could practically lose a limb, have blood pumping out by the gallons ,and act like it was no big deal. Neither broke a bone when young and they were complete dare devils. Lil Bit , on the other hand, is very cautious. And when she was younger, any boo-boo caused extreme drama---So when she came in the house crying, I looked at her arm/elbow, had her MOVE it, wiggle her fingers, and figured she was ok. In fact she went to school the next day. (Said it no longer hurt, no swelling either). Afternoon rolls around. School nurse calls....long story short, end up in ER, elbow broken. Man, I felt absolutely HORRIBLE. Nobody turned me in for medical neglect, I made an honest mistake. And next time we'll be going to the hospital A.S.A.P. to check out possible broken bones. Won't be doing my own "field test" anymore.

Dad made an error in judgment, of which he will probably learn from. I'd certainly discuss my concerns with him about it. As far as being at GM"S house, if that's been ordered not to occur by the court, then he's in violation. It's up to you as to whether you want to pursue this in court. (I'd also tactfully mention this to Dad when discussing the broken thumb).
 
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Humusluvr

Senior Member
Medical neglect would be if dad had known the thumb was broken (or severely injured) for two WEEKS and done nothing about it, not two days.

Medical neglect would be not giving a child his insulin or asthma meds and child ending up in hospital. Or a bleeding diaper rash. Or pus draining out of his ears but refusing to have him seen by a doctor.

Medical neglect would be knowing that child was suffering, seeing a broken bone sticking out of the skin, or the child having a fever or uncontrollable crying.

Not neglect here, IMHO.
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
... however 10yr old walks in the house with a thumb swollen twice it's size and with black bruising all around. asked son what happened, he said it happened at grandma's house. no one took him to a doctor. i take him to the nearest clinic down the street. they say they can't take him on his insurance. so we walk an hour and a half to his primary doctor. i have absolutely no money otherwise i would have bussed it to the emergency room. we wait for a few hours since it's walk in status only. doctor takes a look, says it appears to be broken, refers us to another clinic for x-rays. that clinic is not within walking distance. so i go home, feed kids, call dad. ask him why he didn't take him to the ER or even say anything about it to me. dad said he didn't think it was broken. dad has taken kid in for a sprained pinky finger and a boil on his own, it didn't ring right that a thumb so enlarged didn't ring any bells with this guy. called x-ray place to get address, found it would be closed by the time i got a ride (4pm). they said to come early the next day. i get a ride to the ER later that evening instead. thumb is broken doc puts a cast on it.
is this not medical neglect? is there something i can do about it?
YOU thought it was broken and did not find QUICKLY find the resources to take the child to the ER.

How can insinuate that Dad is guilty of medical neglect for not going to the ER when he simply thought the thumb was swollen?

This looks worse on you. IF one of you is negligent in this situation, I’d suggest it was you. Did you call Dad to drive kiddo to the hospital while you were walking about town?
 

StampGirl

Senior Member
YOU thought it was broken and did not find QUICKLY find the resources to take the child to the ER.

How can insinuate that Dad is guilty of medical neglect for not going to the ER when he simply thought the thumb was swollen?

This looks worse on you. IF one of you is negligent in this situation, I’d suggest it was you. Did you call Dad to drive kiddo to the hospital while you were walking about town?
Its not medical neglect on either of them. Sheesh.

She did find a ride to the ER that evening. She had already taken the child to the dr earlier that day but couldn't find a ride to the clinic to have it splited/casted etc. At least she didn't wait till the next day to have it taken care of.

OP: I would be more worried/concerned with children being at Gma's house w/o dad's supervision.
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
Its not medical neglect on either of them. Sheesh.

She did find a ride to the ER that evening. She had already taken the child to the dr earlier that day but couldn't find a ride to the clinic to have it splited/casted etc. At least she didn't wait till the next day to have it taken care of.

OP: I would be more worried/concerned with children being at Gma's house w/o dad's supervision.
I know its not medical neglect by either of them. I was being snarky and went with the word “if.”

Although I read it as it WAS the evening of the NEXT day.

I agree this issue of the grandparents is important.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
i understand the snarkiness. and am completely okay with it.

i was more upset as to dad had always in the past been on the safer side of caution just taken the child to the ER. even in cases where i didn't even think it was necessary, but all of a sudden, being the case was even MORE serious, he didn't come through.

the whole GM thing wasn't even so much a thought until the 6 year old mentioned his dad picked him up that morning. then i started to wonder if dad just wasn't there to even respond to the injury like normal, found out in the morning when he picked them up and just tried to let it go un-noticed.
 

sometwo

Senior Member
OP: I would be more worried/concerned with children being at Gma's house w/o dad's supervision
I think I would file contempt charges on that one. Obviously he isnt going to follow the order.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
I think I would file contempt charges on that one. Obviously he isnt going to follow the order.
:rolleyes: didn't i fuss at you already??


that's my problem. i have to PROVE the kids were there without dad without involving or questioning the kids. as much fun as it would be to stalk the ex :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: i just don't have the time and resources.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Back to the broken thumb for a moment.

Hold your hand out, and look at your thumb. The whole bone from your wrist to the end of your thumb is your thumb, because its separate from the rest of your hand. Move your thumb around by holding your hand out, and you will see what I mean. My daughter had to have a cast because she broke her thumb between the wrist and the junction with the other fingers, and according to her ortho, that's considered to be a fairly serious break, because if not handled properly can lead to significant problems in the overall use of the hand. We NEED our opposable thumbs.

I think that Isabella did the best she could under the circumstances (walking 1 1/2 hours is a damned devoted parent) and got the child the care that the child needed.

I agree that its more than a bit unusual that a dad who normally hits the ER for really minor stuff, didn't hit the ER for this one.

That tells me that dad wasn't around when it happened, and didn't have time to hit the ER before returning the children. That also indicates that the children were alone with Grandma, which the judge specifically ordered was not to happen.

I think that this one probably deserves a trip back to court. Not for medical neglect (which in my opinion there was) but for the indication that dad is not obeying the rules about leaving the kids alone with grandma.

Parents can make bad judgement calls about whether or not a child needs the ER without being unfit parents. That isn't my point at ALL. My point is that a parent who has a history of going to the ER for really minor stuff, is not likely to make that kind of bad judgement call....unless they weren't around when it happened.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
i have re-read all the responses, walked around a bit to digest it. i have written a letter to the ex. it's more of a "this is what happened as you told it, this is what i did, this is what you have done before in similar circumstances, what happened this time?" type of letter.

i even remembered the NCP calling me on his weekend because the older one was cleaning his ear with a q-tip, 5 year old jumped him causing the q-tip to go in too far. i called a 24 hour nurse, she gave me questions to ask. i called NCP back, told him what to look for and such forth. so i know he is a nervous nelly when it comes to the boys since he really doesn't know what he is doing. but at the very least he always ASKED someone. (on no, did that come out as a complimernt to him?)
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
i have re-read all the responses, walked around a bit to digest it. i have written a letter to the ex. it's more of a "this is what happened as you told it, this is what i did, this is what you have done before in similar circumstances, what happened this time?" type of letter.

i even remembered the NCP calling me on his weekend because the older one was cleaning his ear with a q-tip, 5 year old jumped him causing the q-tip to go in too far. i called a 24 hour nurse, she gave me questions to ask. i called NCP back, told him what to look for and such forth. so i know he is a nervous nelly when it comes to the boys since he really doesn't know what he is doing. but at the very least he always ASKED someone. (on no, did that come out as a complimernt to him?)
I would suggest waiting on the letter. Don't do it when you're all emotional.

And don't put all that drama down in writing.

Why not a two sentence email - "I can't understand why you didn't take child to the doctor for his thumb. Help me understand."

Le t him hang himself.
 

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