Meeting halfway

[hisdaddy]

OH

If an NCP's job (military) takes them away from the state that they once resided and the child stilll lives in that state with the CP, can I request in my visitation that the CP meet me halfway to get my child for visitation? It would be 36 hrs. roundtrip to get my child and bring him home. My car can't handle that. If airfare stays the way it is I can probably afford to fly him once in a while but not every time. Thanks for the replies...

 

[usmcfamily]

IF you have a nice CP than you may be able to work something out with them -- however legally speaking the "shared expenses/travel" type modifications are typically seen most in cases where the CP is the "moving parent" because in that situation they are causing the NCP to have increased expenses for vistation. It can never hurt to try though.......do you anticipate the CP being cooperative in an arrangement like that? In our case I was always glad to meet the NCP 1/2 way so that our daughter had more "quality" time with him than just being in a car the whole time driving back and forth and no time to just spend together......but that wasn't a court ordered arrangement it was just something we worked out between us because I felt it was the right thing for me to do.
As I said - it can't hurt to try but if she contests it at all I would anticipate it not being so ordered..............jmo

 

[hisdaddy]

I am only speaking of the traveling, not the cost. I am expecting to have to pay for the travel expenses on her part, but she doesn't even want to travel to meet me halfway with my son. That is what I am asking about. I should have been a little more clear. Thanks.

 

[usmcfamily]

The answer above was meant to apply to either -- simply take the "expense" word out and you have your answer to the travel portion......it is unlikely that she would be ORDERED to share in the travel as you are the moving parent and the court sees this as "choosing" to create the distance/travel on your part (yes, I understand that being in the military it isn't a "choice" of where you are being sent - we are after all USMC family here BUT ultimately the choice to be enlisted in the military WAS a choice you made and you knew at the time that that would entail moving around -- regardless of if the child came before or after the elistment decision you have chosen a profession that requires moving a lot and so it will likely be seen as your resonsibility to do whatever is necessary for you to see your child). Honestly I can't say that I blame her for not wanting to travel six hours to meet you and drive six hours back -- not all CP's are as anxious to be helpful to the NCP as I was....lol. Legally until you can convince a court to order her to she is under NO obligation to be of any help to you beyond making the child available to you for your visits at the appointed times - and as I have already said the chances of getting it so ordered are slim to none even with you willing to pay her expenses...........HOWEVER....you can go at this from the direction of changing the visitation schedule.....what you could do is to petition for a modification of the visitation to where instead of say one weekend a month (just an example - please change to fit your specific case) to haveing say one full week every 2-3 months you don't lose actual days with your child and you can be saving the money you would be spending every month to pay for airfare. This is what we have done after our last PCS which put us and the NCP on opposite coasts and it has actually worked out to where he gets more days a year than before with our daughter. What age is the child? I ask because it is actually CHEAPER for us to have our daughter fly back and forth (as an unaccompanied minor) than it would be for any of us to drive - we only pay $200 rountrip per visit and no one can drive cross country for less than that -- having said it would be a 36 hour roundtrip for you I imagine that you would be paying roughly that same amount for your gas and lodging so air travel may actually make more sense for you too -- especially since it cuts so much "travel time" out of the visit so you actually get to spend the time visiting with your child instead of driving......
Hundreds of ideas for you but too lengthy to post here -- if you want more detailed information on the specific arrangements we have been able to work into our agreements please e-mail me and I will answer any ?'s . You can message me by accessing my profile here........

 

[coolmomof4]

3 years ago, my husband who has physical custody of his son (bio-mom has visitation), was relocated b/c of his job to GA a 12 hour round trip, the visitation was split to where he visits w/her every month. On odd months she is responsible for visits, on even months, we are. We drive him to NC, stay in town there for the weekend, then drive him home with us on Sunday. When it is her weekend, she comes to GA, stays the weekend in town with him and goes home on Sun. She was ordered to share the responsibility. It is possible.