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  1. #1
    prttygrl Guest

    Angry meeting halfway for visitation

    I live in Ga, but got divorced in SC. My ex and I have joint custody with me as the primary custodial parent. The divorce decree was drawn up when we lived in the same town in SC. Due to getting married and that my second husband is in the military, we had to move 160 miles away in Ga. The distance is becoming an issue for me. When I had to move away two years ago I verbally agreed to meet my ex halfway every other weekend and for his other court appointed times. (He gets our daughter every other weekend PLUS nine extra weeks out of the year!) Needless to say, since my family and I had yo move it has put a lot of wear and tear on my vehicle. I have put about 20,000 miles on my car in the past two years JUST meeting him for his visitations, plus all the gas. HE on the other hand uses a company truck so he is not wearing down his own personal vehicle (and is probably not paying for all the gas himself) so he doesn't see the strain that we do on the family car. Needless to say, I don't think his boss knows he uses the truck. He does not have a vehicle of his own (but he DOES have his own sport boat). Go figure. Anyway, is it unreasonable to tell him to come get her on his court appointed weekends and extra days? I would not be in contempt of court since I'm allowing him to have her, right? He would just have to come get her since there is no financial burden on him for all the exchanges. Or would it be unreasonable to ask him for some compensation and continue meeting him? Or is there absolutely nothing we can do since we're the ones who moved? But why should we be punished because Iwead to go where my husband's job took him? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Las Vegas NV

    can you just try and talk with dad?

    and might I ad, not by "telling" dad to come get child, just talk to him?
    What I am not understanding is this-you have been doing this for 2 years and now you want to change things?
    You also knew your new husband was in the miliatary when you married him, therefore, always being a chance of moving, so didnt you anticipate some kind of comprimise or change in cirmcumstances in the future?
    I find your reasoning a little weak---you married a military person, you moved, so unless you can convince dad to come get child (and Id get that in a court order if he agrees), I would think a judge would keep it as is---
    I mean, come on, 160 miles cut in half is only 80 miles--Ive seen some parents drive up to 4 hours or more just to split the drive--and thats court ordered----every weekend--
    maybe get a new car? borrow a car? there are other ways to work this out----
    good luck

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    half way is pretty standard in most cases, and I would keep it that way.

    As the moving parent the court will very likely, make you responible, if you cannot agree, because you are the one who moved away and inconvenienced Dad. They don't care who has a nicer vehicle, as these are things you needed to consider before you moved.

    "It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men." Frederick Douglas
  4. #4
    sunfun Guest
    Actually, with a military move it can be different. This is a problem for...duh-da-da-DAAAAA...your friendly neighborhood law office!

    My guess is that you will need to modify the current agreement and NOW CHICKIE! It's kinda normal to have both parents responsible for the trip. You either split the cost down the middle or meet halfway.

    I would do all of this before your next military move. What happends when you are forced to move overseas?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Las Vegas NV

    and I'm thinking that a judge....

    even though it was a verble agreement--might look at the 2 year history of the meeting half way and say, "hey, you have been doing this for 2 yrs without a problem, so why change it?" Like it set up a precedence (sp?)---

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2002

    Re: meeting halfway for visitation

    Too bad the distance is becoming an issue for you. That's what happens when you move and the other parent doesn't. Personally, I would suck it up and be glad he's meeting halfway, as he'd be well within his rights to ask that you provide ALL the transportation each way.

    Just making the kid available doesn't cut it when you changed the rules. He could insist that she be available at the place she was available at when the order was signed.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    My husband's ex moved 180 miles away last yr and SHE was responsible for ALL transportation, no ifs, ands. or buts. Consider yourself lucky YOU aren't responsible for the trips.

    BTW that was transportation BOTH ways and it only lasted for 10 weeks before bm got tired of the this and moved back.

  8. #8
    4LilMan Guest
    I am in the military and I moved away. I have joint custody and I have to pay for this, but she has to meet me halfway even though I moved. We're gtting ready to switch custody and I wil be meeting her. Even if you move due to orders, it doesn't protect you from transporting your child.

  9. #9
    prttygrl Guest

    thank you

    Thank you everyone for your replies. They were helpful and gave me something to think about, although it wasn't what I had hoped to hear. Thanks though.

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