Military "family member" paying child support

[m1998]

What is the name of your state? ND

I am AD military. My husband is the civilian. He pays child support to a witch and the spawn that just goes to beer and new cars but that's not the point of my post.

I am 90% sure my next duty station will be overseas. There is NO way he'll be able to find a job over there that pays what he makes here, if he can find a job at all (depending on where duty station is of course).

Does anyone know how that works? Will he have to petition court when I get orders saying "Hey, I'm not going to have a job and if I get one, who knows when that will be?" There is NO way that I would pay his child support, couldn't afford it since I'm not getting child support from my ex for daughter; money is too tight as it is.

Military legal here doesn't seem to knowledgable on these things. Where can I go to find something out?

Oh, and so I don't get on anyone's "bad" side--I know it is my husbands responsibility to pay, not saying he shouldn't but I do feel that the states need to have more control over the money. We see $600 a month go to everything but the kid, getting visitation is a constant battle, and it's just such a headache for both of us...

 

[m1998]

Clarifying more

After re-reading that, I sound really cold. Perhaps I am...

We are just concerned that when orders come along that the FAC (my acronym for his ex, use your imagination) will just make it even more stressful than it should be. We are basically preparing ourselves in advance for a battle. She feels that "J" should provide 100% of the kids needs financially but it is beyond obvious when we actually have the kid over that the money isn't being spent on basics like clothes, dental, medical. Not to the point of neglect; FAC knows how to get a way w/the bare minimum. It is her lifestyle he's supporting.

And as a parent who's child has recieved $120 in 3 years on CS, you'd think I'd be on her side but let me tell ya, this one doesn't deserve a dime! Needs to be a law about the CS money going into a trust fund!!!

 

[kat1963]

Spawn eh? Interesting, I wonder if my step kids aren't out of the same pod. You think? Anyway, not much to tell you here cept he'd have to file for modification. Probably best to consult an attorney before you leave, that way it will be easier for him/her to represent your husband in court (and hopefully he will be able to testify by phone). I have to tell you that NO job will probably tick off the judge..but a lower paying job in a different country, probably, PROBABLY will not, considering the circumstances involved. It's up to the judge as you know... some just say TOUGH tokens, pay what as ordered (don't care how), some lower it, like Vegas, those kind of odds...only the lawyer are the ones going *ching-ching*. A Good family lawyer in your area would be better informed as to how a judge is likely to rule on these types of cases and most have free or low cost consults.

Come back safe!

KAT

 

[m1998]

Hmmmm...

Thanx for your post.
In ND the courts seem to side for the mother, no matter what the situation. It's rather scary, let me tell ya! This state is so conservative, it's not even funny!

You would think that one would be a bit kind, especially if they have a clue about the military, what spouses have to endure, but I can see someone saying 'Well, he chose to have a kid (which isn't the case--she "Accidentally" got pg--one of those deals, ya know?) and to marry military so he can just stay where he can provide for the kid."

Who knows...

 

[usmcfamily]

Being a military family I can "feel" you on this BUT that said.......
Your husband KNOWS he has a child support obligation.....he KNOWS it may hard to find a job where you go next.......with that in mind your family now has three choices
#1 - you go overseas on an unaccompanied tour of 1 year instead of the 3 year accompanied and he stays here in the US where he can find work and works and pays his support.
#2 - he goes with you and either finds a job that pays the support or you pay it for him.
#3 - he goes with you anyway, doesn't find work, you don't pay the bill and he builds up HUGE arrearages and legal problems to wait for his return to the states (I do NOT vote for # 3........)

I have to point out that you chose to marry someone with a financial obligation -- you did so with full knowledge that your career and that obligation could conflict so it was a risk you were willing to take. NOT coming down on you at all - only pointing out the facts....... even if you were not AD when you married and joined later - you joined knowing that he had the obligation and there was a chance of the overseas situation coming up. I don't mean to sound unsympathetic but this was a "forseeable" situation (if you put the time into considering all the what-if's when you decided to marry or enlist --whichever came first)
And while he may not have planned to have a child he did choose to have sex with her -- whether he thought it was "safe" or not -- we all learn in school (sometimes as young as grade school) that the ONLY "safe" sex is abstinence........he knew that despite all her assurances of protection there was a "chance" their encouter could result in a child. He chose to take that chance and unfortunately for all involved (most particularly the child) he got caught in the statistic........
A lot of families endure the one year tours - the separation is painful but it can be survived. Again I understand that this is not the "best" situation for a family but sometimes we have to do things we don't like to fulfill our obligations.....