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  1. #1
    sherri56 Guest

    Question Military orders to move overseas

    What is the name of your state? VA

    I have a 13 yr old son that has always been living with me. My ex and I divorced 3 yrs ago and we parted amicably with a non-contested divorce decree signed by both. The divorce was signed by the courts in 1999. Since then my Ex and I have moved on with our lives, he now lives with a wealthy widowed girlfriend and I have remarried a military member. I am the Custodial Guardian of my son and the divorce decree states that we should discuss all issues regarding my son....but ultimately if we can not agree on issues that the "Custodial Guardian" has the final so so on issues. My Ex decided to cut off all child support payments to teach me a lesson after a disagreement. I filed a contempt order against him for failing to pay the court ordered child support and he hired an attorney to file a motion to try to "change custody" and take my son away fron me. His battle was lost due to my son wanting to stay with me. He started paying SOME child support, but not the ordered amount and only what he felt was the fair amount, and then only sporadically. The court battle has been going on now for 3 yrs and his arrearage is over $17,000. My question is this: If my current husband who is a military member, ever gets orders to move us overseas, can my Ex prevent me from taking my son overseas with us? He has no home of his own established (only his girlfriends place), and has claimed to the courts for the last 3 yrs that he could not afford financially to pay the court ordered amount of child support (he definately could, but was being paid under the table to hide his income). I'm still persuing the Child Support issue in the FL courts. I also have a copy of an old restraining oder against him from 3 yrs ago when we were divorcing and he came to my home drunk and threatened to kill me. My 13 yr old son I feel would have the normal fears of moving and starting up at a new school and making new friends. I'm sure this would just be his nervousness about such a big move. He's ALWAYS lived with me and we have a good relationship. His dad had custody of my oldest son and did not spend much time with him or parent him sufficiently, and my oldest son did not even graduate high school while in his care. Are there any steps I can take to make sure I get to take my son overseas with me? I'd be very open with any visitation suggestions his dad here in the states might want. Since travel from overseas is quite time consuming and costly for us both. But feel the Ex would use a move, against me to start up another legal battle.
    Last edited by sherri56; 10-30-2002 at 01:43 PM.
  2. #2
    usmcfamily is offline Senior Member
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    Yes, your ex can keep you from taking your child overseas. There are a couple of options "if" this comes up
    #1 your new spouse can opt for the shorter unaccompanied overseas tour and you and the child can remain stateside while he is gone
    or
    #2 if your ex contests it you can fight through the courts (be aware depending on how determined the ex is the fight may take longer than the tour itself would) for "permission" to go overseas

    IF you are granted permission to take the child out of the country you may be ordered to bear part of the "extra" expenses incurred for visitation between father and son.
  3. #3
    sherri56 Guest
    So if a legal battle persues, I could still petition the courts for "permission" to take my son with us until the issue is resolved thru the courts????
  4. #4
    craftymom Guest

    In addition to USMC's advice....

    As of right now, you can't get a passport for your son anyway. You need dad's signature on the application.
  5. #5
    usmcfamily is offline Senior Member
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    correct**************.

    You can fight it and could still be granted permission to take the child with you**************.however this is where things get complicated.
    You are dealing with hypotheticals at the moment (what if he gets orders for an overseas tour) -- how likely do you think it is that it will happen in the next 12 months (is he at the end of his tour at his current duty station, has there been mention of an overseas tour for him, does he have at least 2 years (and is willing to extend by a year) left on his current obligation of contract with the military, do you guys want to put in for one or are you just thinking they are going to slate him for one regardless)

    I ask because IF the bio-father contests the move it can take at least that long to resolve the issue and you would need to know if your DH wants an accompanied or unaccompanied tour BEFORE he takes the orderes because if he took it as an accompanied and your petition is denied it would be a BIG headache to try to get the orders changed since you guys woulnd't be able to go with him and you may well end up being without your DH longer than the typical 12 month unaccompanied tour would have lasted.
    So, IF you are fairly certain that this issue will come up in the next 12 months I would say you need to do a few things in preparation**************such as petition the courts for a modification to the custody order that includes a "plan b" sort of contingency for if your husband receives an overseas station assignment. ie the wording might read something to the effect that "if CP moves overseas the visitation schedule will be such : (insert the plan here - you may want to consider lenghtening the visits but making them less frequent since the expense of international travel is SO high and can be prohibitive to a "normal" visitation schedule -- for example the child could spend two months every summer and two weeks for a major holiday)"
    By having a plan ready to offer when you submit the petition it shows that you are being proactive and are willing to be flexible and work with the father.
    As I warned before you may be ordered to bear part of the expense for the visitation because as the "moving parent" you are causing the NCP to incur substantial increases in the expense of seeing his child**************.you may be ordered to take on a small portion or all of the "extra" cost compared to what it would cost him to visit the child where you live now.
    I do not reccommend doing this if you are not fairly certain that the orders will come down at some point because this won't likely sit well with the NCP and may stir the pot unneccesarily**************.but if you are fairly certain this issue will be an issue for you at some point you would do well to take action now so as to be prepared at the time the orders do come and not have to try to sort this all out then because it won't happen quickly and may well mean you spend a year without your husband (btw - that can be done so if it happens don't despair**************....it isn't easy but can be survived....)

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