Sirdouglasb12
Junior Member
Minnesota
I would like some advice concerning my situation. We are divorcing. My most desired outcome would be to have a liberal visitation schedule put in the divorce decree and recognizing the biological father for the purposes of getting him to pay child support. If I need to fight to maintain my status of being presumed legal father to continue my relationship with my son, even if that means paying child support, I can accept that as my second choice.
Here is an outline of our marriage:
Douglas B. – me. Age 42
Erin A. B. – wife Age 31
Tre D. B. – son Age 4
Married on May 21, 2005 , after being best friends for 4 years.
Separated on October 28, 2005 .
Began working on reconciling in December 2005
Wife got pregnant in December 2005
January 2006, we got back together as a couple.
August 1, 2006 , our son, Tre, was born.
December 15, 2009 wife began an affair and told me she wanted a divorce.
January 7, 2010 wife took out an OFP against me.
January 2010, wife demanded a paternity test.
January 2010, A Guardian Ad Litem was appointed.
February 1, 2010 , wife dropped the OFP and also signed a statement saying that it was without merit or justification.
February 1, 2010 we signed custody arrangement schedule the we drew up between the two of us that outlined several issues, including a set visitation schedule. The agreement clearly states that we agree to keep this schedule through and after our divorce. It also clearly states that we will keep this schedule regardless of the outcome of any paternity test.
March 2010, paternity test shows that I am NOT the biological father.
At present, we are still separated and are trying to negotiate our divorce without involving attorneys.
RELEVANT ISSUES
I am the only father my son has ever known. I had a vasectomy reversed just so I could have a child. I have no other children. I strongly want to continue my relationship with my son.
I was aware that there was at least a small chance that I may not be the biological Dad as soon as it was learned that Erin was pregnant.
I live less than 30 miles away from my wife.
Wife wants sole physical and legal custody.
We have been mostly successful in coming to terms with everything other than the issue of Tre.
Wife claims that the (presumed) biological father wants to begin a relationship with his son. Bio dad is NOT the person she is having the affair with.
The presumed Bio dad is apparently ready to sign a recognition of parentage form without having a DNA test done to prove paternity.
Both wife and I want to put a set visitation schedule in the divorce decree. She would also like the divorce decree to recognize the presumed Bio dad and have my name removed from Tre’s birth certificate. This would remove my obligation for child support and allow the county to pursue bio dad.
We are in disagreement on the visitation schedule. I want more time, she wants less put in.
She is threatening to bring the (presumed) Bio Dad in to challenge paternity if I don’t agree with her demands. She has also threatened that if I “force” her into that, she will deny me all visitation with my son.
The G.A.L. report did not go in my favor. I believe I have legitimate grounds to question the quality of the G.A.L. report. The G.A.L. did not contact any members of my family, who we lived next door to within the 2 years preceding the appointment of the G.A.L. Additionally, because I was concerned about the mental stability of my wife prior to the OFP being taken out, I began making surreptitious audio recordings of our conversations. I offered the G.A.L. full access to these recordings so she would be able to know what events truly happened. She refused to listen to any of them.
************************************************** *******
My soon to be ex-wife is really trying to pressure me to hurry up and sign these divorce papers. She is hounding me daily, multiple times during the day. I have just started a new job that does not allow me the option of leaving during the day to consult an attorney. (They are EXTREMELY strict about attendance) If anyone would like, I can send you via e-mail .PDF copies of both the G.A.L. report and also the custody agreement that we had signed.
I would like some advice concerning my situation. We are divorcing. My most desired outcome would be to have a liberal visitation schedule put in the divorce decree and recognizing the biological father for the purposes of getting him to pay child support. If I need to fight to maintain my status of being presumed legal father to continue my relationship with my son, even if that means paying child support, I can accept that as my second choice.
Here is an outline of our marriage:
Douglas B. – me. Age 42
Erin A. B. – wife Age 31
Tre D. B. – son Age 4
Married on May 21, 2005 , after being best friends for 4 years.
Separated on October 28, 2005 .
Began working on reconciling in December 2005
Wife got pregnant in December 2005
January 2006, we got back together as a couple.
August 1, 2006 , our son, Tre, was born.
December 15, 2009 wife began an affair and told me she wanted a divorce.
January 7, 2010 wife took out an OFP against me.
January 2010, wife demanded a paternity test.
January 2010, A Guardian Ad Litem was appointed.
February 1, 2010 , wife dropped the OFP and also signed a statement saying that it was without merit or justification.
February 1, 2010 we signed custody arrangement schedule the we drew up between the two of us that outlined several issues, including a set visitation schedule. The agreement clearly states that we agree to keep this schedule through and after our divorce. It also clearly states that we will keep this schedule regardless of the outcome of any paternity test.
March 2010, paternity test shows that I am NOT the biological father.
At present, we are still separated and are trying to negotiate our divorce without involving attorneys.
RELEVANT ISSUES
I am the only father my son has ever known. I had a vasectomy reversed just so I could have a child. I have no other children. I strongly want to continue my relationship with my son.
I was aware that there was at least a small chance that I may not be the biological Dad as soon as it was learned that Erin was pregnant.
I live less than 30 miles away from my wife.
Wife wants sole physical and legal custody.
We have been mostly successful in coming to terms with everything other than the issue of Tre.
Wife claims that the (presumed) biological father wants to begin a relationship with his son. Bio dad is NOT the person she is having the affair with.
The presumed Bio dad is apparently ready to sign a recognition of parentage form without having a DNA test done to prove paternity.
Both wife and I want to put a set visitation schedule in the divorce decree. She would also like the divorce decree to recognize the presumed Bio dad and have my name removed from Tre’s birth certificate. This would remove my obligation for child support and allow the county to pursue bio dad.
We are in disagreement on the visitation schedule. I want more time, she wants less put in.
She is threatening to bring the (presumed) Bio Dad in to challenge paternity if I don’t agree with her demands. She has also threatened that if I “force” her into that, she will deny me all visitation with my son.
The G.A.L. report did not go in my favor. I believe I have legitimate grounds to question the quality of the G.A.L. report. The G.A.L. did not contact any members of my family, who we lived next door to within the 2 years preceding the appointment of the G.A.L. Additionally, because I was concerned about the mental stability of my wife prior to the OFP being taken out, I began making surreptitious audio recordings of our conversations. I offered the G.A.L. full access to these recordings so she would be able to know what events truly happened. She refused to listen to any of them.
************************************************** *******
My soon to be ex-wife is really trying to pressure me to hurry up and sign these divorce papers. She is hounding me daily, multiple times during the day. I have just started a new job that does not allow me the option of leaving during the day to consult an attorney. (They are EXTREMELY strict about attendance) If anyone would like, I can send you via e-mail .PDF copies of both the G.A.L. report and also the custody agreement that we had signed.
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