Missed visitation time

[Butterfly80]

What is the name of your state? Minnesota

What are my rights as the custodial parent in denying visitation time to the non-custodial parent.

The non-custodial parent has missed 2 weeks summer visitation, two weekends in October and all of his Wednesdays in October. We made plans for this weekend, which, technically, was due to be his weekend. He has has had no contact at all with his son and my son does not want to go over there anymore because of the month long stretch of no contact. The step-mother has also stated that my son does not need to be there when the father is not present.

Would this be enough of an arguement to amend the visitation schedule so that no more overnights are allowed and the father just spends time with the child one on one?

 

[stealth2]

As long as the court order specifies visitation, you are bound to follow it or suffer the consequences the court might impose. You don't get to decide when/if you're going to follow the order. Dad's not required to take all the time he's given. And kids don't decide whether they go on visitation.

 

[Butterfly80]

Thanks for the info........not what I wanted to hear, though. At what age does a judge listen to a childs wants for visitation?

 

[stealth2]

It depends on the judge and on the child. A general guideline is around 12-ish, although maturity plays into it. The older/more mature a child is, the more weight a judge will give to his/her wishes. However, the child does not decide, and it's entirely likely that a judge would order counseling for father/child rather than doing away with visitation.

 

[Butterfly80]

My son is in counseling, and the counselor has tried to contact the father to set up a meeting between him, my son and his Dad. I have to assume then that the visitation needs to stay 'as is' until an amendment is filed or there has been an agreement reached in counseling?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

My son is in counseling, and the counselor has tried to contact the father to set up a meeting between him, my son and his Dad. I have to assume then that the visitation needs to stay 'as is' until an amendment is filed or there has been an agreement reached in counseling?

Yes and no. Counseling has nothing to do with the legal aspects of your case.

 

[BlondeIntel]

More Information, Please.

He has has had no contact at all with his son and my son does not want to go over there anymore because of the month long stretch of no contact.

Has it only been one month of no contact or does this occur frequently?

The step-mother has also stated that my son does not need to be there when the father is not present.

Do they notify you when the father will not be present or does he leave after your son arrives? Does the step-mother send your son home on these occasions?

 

[stealth2]

If Dad agrees (in counseling or not) to a change in visitation, that's fine. But be aware that unless it is signed by a judge, he can insist on the ordered visitation at any time. Honestly, one month w/o visitation isn't really that long a time. A judge is also unlikely to order that Dad has to spend his visitation one-on-one, unless stepmom is a provable danger to the child.

So what is REALLY going on - this isn't just about one month's missed visitation. And how old is your son?

 

[casa]

A month isn't very long- Not that it means it's OK, but it's not very long in the court's eyes. My X has gone longer than that. I asked once how to handle this situation and was told as long as the court order says he has visitation Rights, he can visit. Whether or not he chooses exercise those rights is up to him. I however, have to make sure the child is available during the assigned time in the event he chooses to exercise them.

On the Up side- He does now use his visitation on a regular basis, so maybe it will happen eventually.

Good luck to you

 

[Butterfly80]

My son is 8 and he will be 9 in a few months. I guess to me one month was long because I couldn't imagine going that long with no contact, whatsoever, with my child. I guess I seem to act on emotion and try to protect my son from the disappointment in his Dad. Guess I have no control over that. The step-mom is very controlling and things have been so turbulent since she entered the picture. I believe she is mentally abusive in the way she talks to my son and her unrealistic expectations of him when he is over there.

It's like sending him to a bad daycare that I can't get him out of .

I guess I will keep working with the counselor and, hopefully, he can get the step-mom back to the 'reality' of how and 8 year old boy behaves....and, hopefully, he can explain to the father how important keeping in contact with his child is............even a phone call from him would be nice.

 

[stealth2]

her unrealistic expectations of him when he is over there.

<snip>

how and 8 year old boy behaves.....

What are her expectations, and, uh, how does he behave?

 

[momof1cutie]

Why don't you take him back to court to modify the visitation order and what reason(s) does he give for not coming to see your son?? It has been 1 yr. and 4 months since my son's father has seen him and before that it was 10 months. I would hope that if he ever decided to take me to court for visitation this non-contact would hold up greatly in court.

good luck!!!

 

[stealth2]

Why don't you take him back to court to modify the visitation order

After one month? That isn't likely to affect the order in any way at all.