missing school

[ttodd]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
I have a 10 year old son who is a straight A student. I have visitations every other weekend. This weekend he informed me that he may get help back from fourth grade for missing 17 days of school. I was not notified of these absences. His mother is a student and her husband was fired from his job at the Wal-mart distribution center for buying perscription drugs. They are now filing for bancrupcy because they say they can not afford their $700 mortgage payment (but they just bought a dog for $400). This is not teaching my son to be responsible. I was wondering if I had a case that would stand up in court to allow me to recieve full custody of my son.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
I have a 10 year old son who is a straight A student. I have visitations every other weekend. This weekend he informed me that he may get help back from fourth grade for missing 17 days of school. I was not notified of these absences. His mother is a student and her husband was fired from his job at the Wal-mart distribution center for buying perscription drugs. They are now filing for bancrupcy because they say they can not afford their $700 mortgage payment (but they just bought a dog for $400). This is not teaching my son to be responsible. I was wondering if I had a case that would stand up in court to allow me to recieve full custody of my son.

Why did he miss school?

Have you actually talked to Mom?

 

[ttodd]

I have not talked to her yet. My son had a baseball game and I did not want to cause a scene in front of my son or the other people. I knew he missed five days because his great grandmother passed away, and two days because he had the flu. I have not been informed on why he missed the other days.

 

[Proserpina]

I have not talked to her yet. My son had a baseball game and I did not want to cause a scene in front of my son or the other people. I knew he missed five days because his great grandmother passed away, and two days because he had the flu. I have not been informed on why he missed the other days.

So at least 7 might be "allowed" absences.

You need to talk to Mom first.

The bankruptcy isn't going to matter (unless they become homeless), and stepdad getting fired is a non-issue.

 

[gr8rn]

Yet, he is a straight A student? It doesn't sound like 17 missed days has hurt his grades any. And at least 7 of those days would be considered excused absences.

 

[ttodd]

If the school is considering him to be held back then there must be enough "non allowed" absences on his record. I just want the best for my son. I don't want to pull him into a huge custody battle without just cause. I definitely do NOT like the fact that his step-father uses prescription drugs illegally. Even though it's a non-issue, he still resides in the same house as my son and is in turn a role model to my son. I don't know where they are going to be living after the bankruptcy. I was told that they were going to move into a house owned by the step-father's father.

 

[ttodd]

Yes he is a straight A student. He is very smart and that's why I was very suprised to hear about him possibly getting held back.

 

[gr8rn]

Then he will have a roof over his head. And the fact that he gets straight A's means Mom and Stepdad must be doing something right..I'm not convinced you have enough here to change custody.

 

[Proserpina]

If the school is considering him to be held back then there must be enough "non allowed" absences on his record. I just want the best for my son. I don't want to pull him into a huge custody battle without just cause. I definitely do NOT like the fact that his step-father uses prescription drugs illegally. Even though it's a non-issue, he still resides in the same house as my son and is in turn a role model to my son. I don't know where they are going to be living after the bankruptcy. I was told that they were going to move into a house owned by the step-father's father.

You don't have to like it, I'm afraid.

But really - unless you can show that stepdad a danger to your child, you have absolutely nothing (and no, what you've described here doesn't come close). Neither he nor Mom needs to be perfect (and neither do you).

Honestly, I'm not even sure you have anything with the school absences either. Instinct, experience and knowledge say "no".

But you still need to be talking to Mom before you go rushing into battle.

 

[ttodd]

Thank you so much! I will definitely be getting in touch with the school tomorrow. I don't suspect abuse, or really neglect, I think it is more a lack of discipline. He says he doesn't feel good so she tells him it's ok to stay home from school and play video games all day.

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you so much! I will definitely be getting in touch with the school tomorrow. I don't suspect abuse, or really neglect, I think it is more a lack of discipline. He says he doesn't feel good so she tells him it's ok to stay home from school and play video games all day.

Really?

You're not even go to try talking to Mom first?

 

[ttodd]

Thank you for all of your input. I will definitely be speaking with his mother soon. I wanted a chance to calm down some so that it doesn't turn into a fight. I am very upset about him missing a lot of school and even more upset that he may get held back from school. He's a smart kid, which his grades prove, but work ethic is a huge deal to me and it seems like he's not learning good work ethic. Maybe I will attempt to get shared parenting at the least, there is no reason that I should not be allowed to have that.

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you for all of your input. I will definitely be speaking with his mother soon. I wanted a chance to calm down some so that it doesn't turn into a fight. I am very upset about him missing a lot of school and even more upset that he may get held back from school. He's a smart kid, which his grades prove, but work ethic is a huge deal to me and it seems like he's not learning good work ethic. Maybe I will attempt to get shared parenting at the least, there is no reason that I should not be allowed to have that.

...there is no change of circumstance that I see that would justify modifying the current arrangement.

And as a straight-A student - apparently Mom is doing something right.

 

[Proserpina]

Sorry, I don't really know much about the law yet. But I'm willing to learn! No offense or harm meant.

There. Fixed that for ya.

 

[ttodd]

The reason he is a straight A student is because his great grandmother raised him until he was 7. My son and his mother lived with his great grandparents and they were the one's who disciplined him. His half-brother(that his mother and step-father did raise) is not nearly as well behaved as my son. They thought it was cute when their son was two, walking around saying swear words. So I don't think she's doing as good of a job as it appears. I don't usually like to throw stones, but I want what is best for my son.