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Mixed Emotions

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dkjjr

Guest
My husband`s ex wife shot herself at the beginning of November. She says that she was depressed. Since then their 5 and 6 year old kids have been in our care. My husband has obtained temporary custody of the kids. The wound has left the mother with a nonfunctioning limb. We are to go back to court with her in March. She and I have talked and she feels that she is capable of caring for the children. At this time she has supervised visits with the kids. I am afraid of her. The kids do not really understand what is going on. Since I do not think that I can be objective I would like other opinions. Do you think that he should give the kids back to her? What should he do? We live in Alabama.
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I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
dkjjr said:
My husband`s ex wife shot herself at the beginning of November. She says that she was depressed. Since then their 5 and 6 year old kids have been in our care. My husband has obtained temporary custody of the kids. The wound has left the mother with a nonfunctioning limb. We are to go back to court with her in March. She and I have talked and she feels that she is capable of caring for the children. At this time she has supervised visits with the kids. I am afraid of her. The kids do not really understand what is going on. Since I do not think that I can be objective I would like other opinions. Do you think that he should give the kids back to her? What should he do? We live in Alabama.
My response:

Unless she has been receiving ongoing psychiatric assistance, and her psychiatrist can testify that she is no longer a danger to herself, or a potential danger to her children, there is no court in these United States that would give her custody. As a matter of fact, even by the time the March hearing rolls around, the judge will realize that there still hasn't been enough time for her to have worked through her troubles. Remember, the troubles that cause suicide, and the suicide attempt itself, isn't just a "spur of the moment" happening and decision . . . usually, it's the end result of long, and deep-seeded, problems that can, and often do, relate back to years and years of prior organic and/or mental disorder.

Court's are fairly forgiving in most situations, and do their best to rejoin families and situations that are in the best interests of the children; however, at the same time, judges aren't stupid, either.

So, assuming she's in intensive therapy, 5 months worth of therapy will not be sufficient for any judge. He'll request bi-annual psychiatric reports and, when those reports are favorable, and the psychiatrist can testify, to a medical certainty, that she's no longer suicidal and a danger to others, then perhaps she'll be able to regain custody. But, it will be a long time in coming.

IAAL
 
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dkjjr

Guest
well she was supposed to be recieving ongoing care anyway

She has a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia. She says that her Drs. took her off her medications?????
In my opinion it would never be in the best interest of the children to return to her care. The one child that is in school kindergarden had changed schools twice from Aug-Nov. Since they split up in Oct. 98 she has lived n 8 different households.
She calls and upsets the kids not realizing what hse is saying or doing. She tells them that i am not their step mother. She cries and tells them that she wants them to come home.
I am continuing to pray for her, but I amafriad for them and her. If she does not get custody I would be afraid that she would hurt them so that my husband could not get them.
 
S

smh33

Guest
Hey, the woman in Tx who drowned her 5 kids now says it was because she was taken off her meds..........if hubby got temp. order, what was supposed to happen at end of temp. period???would think another court hearing due?????If not, go file for an extension of the temp. arrangements...I do not think I would just start letting her have them, she obviously has issues she needs to handle first. Imagine if kids were there when the shooting happened????? Hopefully, ex understands your reluctance...godd luck.
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
My MIL has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. When she is on her meds she's wonderful(annoying as hell sometimes but great). We never have any fear of her watching my children, however mine are older and can pretty much do for themselves. This past fall she got it in her head to stop taking her meds. She knew what it would do to her however she did them for the reasons that she thought her two youngest sons would stay with her. One lives with her and is worthless but was talking about moving, and the other was heading into the military. My SO and I took over the situation with it. We first started by talking to her dr which did nothing for he tried to say he knew her better then us. Eventually we had her put in the hospital. She was there a week with her medicines monitored. She was great for 2 days until she showed up at my house like that again. We confronted her with our suspicions and told her as we would a child that she couldn't do certain things. She realized that her two youngest sons would still leave and in the process my SO and I would do what we felt was best for her. We saw first hand what not taking meds for this disease does to someone. It wasn't pretty by no means and quite honestly caused me to have what I consider a nervous breakdown lasting a few days. I'm almost 30 so I can't imagine what young children would have to go through and it's not fair to them.
 

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