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  1. #1
    ndocto is offline Junior Member
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    modification of custody & reverse of child support order

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia
    i'm so confuse that the court has a catogory for my ex to file full custody because our son on purpose fail classes @ the school he was attending while living with me so he can go to school close to his dad addr
    ok my ex-husband & i divorced may 2004. which court order him to pay child support, which he's never have been consistant. now that my son is 14 and i am now remarried that made things so much worse. he's heavily infulencing our son to ask to live with him because no other man should be raising our son is what he reminds me of everyday. i tried to be civil & offered my ex to allow my son to live w/him just so he can attend another school district & attend this charter school in my ex district. he accepted & now our son got what they both wanted. he has excell his grades in a matter of 1 month. my ex was so happy that he got what he wanted & now wants to take it a step further by serving me w/a court order filing for full custody and child support payments. my son just told me that his dad had him saying something saying he's happy living w/his dad. our court date is this wed. 01.20.2010. i dont want him to win again. what can i do to help support my plead.
    Last edited by ndocto; 01-18-2010 at 11:56 AM. Reason: spelling errors
  2. #2
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ndocto View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia
    i'm so confuse on who the law even have a catogory for this type of court order?
    ok my ex-husband & i divorced may 2004. which court order him to pay child support in which he's never have been consistant. now that my son is 14 and i am now remarried that made things so much worse. he's heavily infulencing our son to ask to live with him because no other man should be raising him. so my son started not doing well in school. i tried to be civil and ask my son for the success of our son to make it to high school we can see how it work for our son to live with him to be in another school district & attend this charter school which he have excell in a matter of 2 weeks. my ex was so happy that he got what he wants & now wants to take it a step further by serving me w/a court order filing for full custody and child support payments. my son just told me that his dad had him saying something saying he's happy living w/his dad. our court date is this wed. 01.20.2010. i dont want him to win again. what can i do to help support my plead.
    i'm confused. son is living with dad. doing well.

    so dad went to have the current custody order modified (which he has a legal right to do) and to establish child support to reflect the current custody arrangement. which he should have done.

    what is your actual question? what are you trying to prevent?
  3. #3
    gr8rn is offline Senior Member
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    I think she doesn't want to pay child support. Just a guess, though. OP is that your main concern?
  4. #4
    ndocto is offline Junior Member
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    so what grounds do he has to ask for full custody when i've been taken care of our son in his absence. he's only trying to get our son now because i'm remarried. is that personal action vs. the well being of our son. what do i need to do support atleast joint custody since our son will be with him during school year? or can have specific request in place? only while he's in school completing the 8th grade that he lives with his dad. and when he makes it in high school he comes back to me. and if i have to move closer to his current school i will, just to make this happen.
  5. #5
    ndocto is offline Junior Member
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    and shouldn't my ex- atleast be caught up with his rears child support payment before he seeks payment from me? when he agreed to take our son in we both discuess calling it even once he does it and now he's going back on his words.
  6. #6
    gr8rn is offline Senior Member
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    Yup. Thought so.
  7. #7
    ndocto is offline Junior Member
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    i'm sorry, it seems like i just don't want to pay child support when i've been taking care of our son the entire marriage and after the divorce. because that's not it at all. i just don't want him to get full custody and move back to florida where i know he prefers to live with our son. my ex knows the last place i want my son to be raise is in the inner city streets of miami where my ex wants to live. the only reason why he's here in GA is because i agree to let our son live with him if he moves closer to us since i did not want to be an out of state mom. that's why i don't want the full custody granted to my ex. ( i will take the risk of saying my son only in the summer) why would any dad want to take the mothers only child from her. when he has 2 other kids he can play full time daddy with.
  8. #8
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    so what grounds do he has to ask for full custody when i've been taken care of our son in his absence.
    The grounds are that your son is 14 -- in GEORGIA that is a ground for a modification of custody -- and that he is currently living with dad, and that he was doing bad in school at your place and has improved at dad's.What your son probably signed was an affidavit.

    he's only trying to get our son now because i'm remarried. is that personal action vs. the well being of our son.
    Your son is doing BETTER at dad's. he was failing at your house and you AGREED to let him live with dad. How is that against your son's well being? Quite frankly if that is not in the best interest of your son and YOU AGREED TO IT, then you were acting contrary to your son's well being and that is a ground to lose custody.

    what do i need to do support atleast joint custody since our son will be with him during school year? or can have specific request in place?
    Agree to joint custody with dad having residential for school purposes.

    only while he's in school completing the 8th grade that he lives with his dad. and when he makes it in high school he comes back to me. and if i have to move closer to his current school i will, just to make this happen.
    You can NOT predetermine custody like that.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  9. #9
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ndocto View Post
    and shouldn't my ex- atleast be caught up with his rears child support payment before he seeks payment from me? when he agreed to take our son in we both discuess calling it even once he does it and now he's going back on his words.
    If he receives a child support order against you, you can ask that his arrears be paid down and that they act as a credit for your child support payments.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  10. #10
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ndocto View Post
    i'm sorry, it seems like i just don't want to pay child support when i've been taking care of our son the entire marriage and after the divorce. because that's not it at all. i just don't want him to get full custody and move back to florida where i know he prefers to live with our son. my ex knows the last place i want my son to be raise is in the inner city streets of miami where my ex wants to live. the only reason why he's here in GA is because i agree to let our son live with him if he moves closer to us since i did not want to be an out of state mom. that's why i don't want the full custody granted to my ex. ( i will take the risk of saying my son only in the summer) why would any dad want to take the mothers only child from her. when he has 2 other kids he can play full time daddy with.
    Really? Regarding the bolded why don't you have a few more children? I mean after all apparently children are interchangeable, right? Like goldfish. You flush one and you can get another easily.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  11. #11
    ndocto is offline Junior Member
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    so again, why would the courts not allow both of us joint custody so i don't have to risk my exhusband to move back to florida, if the courts grant him full custody?
    i understand my son is now 14. does that means my job is over as his mother adn the only person who have been there from birth to 14. verses his date being around for less than 12 months?
    i don't hate my ex-husband, i just don't like him using the only link between us (our son) to take the only think i appreciated in our use to be lives.
  12. #12
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    so again, why would the courts not allow both of us joint custody so i don't have to risk my exhusband to move back to florida, if the courts grant him full custody?
    Full custody does not grant him the unequivocable right to move.

    i understand my son is now 14. does that means my job is over as his mother adn the only person who have been there from birth to 14. verses his date being around for less than 12 months?
    Your job as a mother never ends. The fact that you look at it this way reflects more on you than anyone else.

    i don't hate my ex-husband, i just don't like him using the only link between us (our son) to take the only think i appreciated in our use to be lives.
    So your son is a piece of property that represents your life with your ex husband? Your son is a person. Your son has his own thoughts and wants and desires.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  13. #13
    janM is offline Member
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    If you're worried about them moving away, ask the court to add in the orders that dad is to get permission from you and/or the court before a move happens.
  14. #14
    ndocto is offline Junior Member
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    i know my chances may not be good. I just want to know what to expect and be prepared

    so what i'm gathering from all the responses are: regardless to my ex-husband is unemployed and is collecting unemployement benefits base on this court order doc i'm review for my wed appt. and Yes, our son is doing better in the charter school our son recently transferred to. and the thought of our son living with him was ever an issue before i got remarried. I just "NOT" fight to keep my rights as the mother and atleast request joint custody so that we can atleast be civil and co-parent our son? so as a good mom I should not think of the father being absent all these years and now showing up and trying to take our son from me? I should just sit back & let that happen.
    this is what i'm coming to an agreement with:
    1. i pay child support since he's living w/dad.
    2. medical insurance will now have to be paid by dad, since i won't be able to afford to do both.
    3. and if he moves back to FL which is the real motive to this action that he's responsible for traveling expense to get him to me during visitation.

    is there anything else i should consider that the judge may mention?
  15. #15
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ndocto View Post
    so what i'm gathering from all the responses are: regardless to my ex-husband is unemployed and is collecting unemployement benefits base on this court order doc i'm review for my wed appt. and Yes, our son is doing better in the charter school our son recently transferred to. and the thought of our son living with him was ever an issue before i got remarried. I just "NOT" fight to keep my rights as the mother and atleast request joint custody so that we can atleast be civil and co-parent our son? so as a good mom I should not think of the father being absent all these years and now showing up and trying to take our son from me? I should just sit back & let that happen.
    this is what i'm coming to an agreement with:
    1. i pay child support since he's living w/dad.
    2. medical insurance will now have to be paid by dad, since i won't be able to afford to do both.
    3. and if he moves back to FL which is the real motive to this action that he's responsible for traveling expense to get him to me during visitation.

    is there anything else i should consider that the judge may mention?

    you're being a bit of a drama queen.


    you agree to the status quo. you agree to the child support based on BOTH your incomes. dad get's credit for the child support based on his arrears. say he owes you $1k, and the child support to be paid by you is set at $50 a month. that's 20 months of child support credit. so after the 20 months your child support payment actually begins.

    you agree to a visitation schedule to yourself with you and dad both sharing in travel.

    then you add to the agreement a clause stating at no time shall either parent move the child's residence out of state and/or (number of mile radius) miles away from the child's residence without permission from the court per state law.

    your rights as a mother aren't going anywhere.

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