Modifiying Shared Parenting Plan

[kickers girl]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

Hello. I am the legal mother of my daughter who is 22 months old. I myself am only 22. When I left my child's legal father he filed for custody because he was afraid I'd keep her from him which was never the case. I told him I wanted shared custody and now we have a shared custody agreement (since November). However since it was signed I started noticing issues with it. Him and his attorney also pressured me into this and made me scared and feel like I didn't have much options.

1st off we didn't step once into a courtroom and my child's father's attorney wrote the whole shared parenting plan herself. We never stepped 1 foot in a courtroom to decide what was best for my child and the plan was written to suit his needs.

In the beginning of it, it states "that both parties appeared before the court at said hearing and acknowledged under oath that they voluntarily entered into the Shared Parenting Plan." I did what!?! That is news to me.

So my first question is... Is this legit? Is it possible for a judge to never get involved with the shared parenting plan and never decide what was best for my child?

I have more but I don't want to overwhelm anyone.

 

[nextwife]

Did you stipulate to the agreement that was filed with the court? Why wouldn't the active participation of both parents be in the child's best interest?

 

[kickers girl]

Well doesn't a shared parenting plan have to go through the court? The other odd thing is every paper I ever got from his attorney which had a spot that said judge and then had a signature was illegible. Even on the shared parenting plan! The signature was scribbles and under the line where it says Judge and its supposed to say his printed name that is a signature of scribbles too! On other papers the judge's name is whited out.

I didn't mean that the active participation of both parents not being in the child's best interest. I meant all the details within our agreement. It is written horribly and alot is left out and I don't think a judge has ever seen it.

 

[penelope10]

Well doesn't a shared parenting plan have to go through the court? The other odd thing is every paper I ever got from his attorney which had a spot that said judge and then had a signature was illegible. Even on the shared parenting plan! The signature was scribbles and under the line where it says Judge and its supposed to say his printed name that is a signature of scribbles too! On other papers the judge's name is whited out.

I didn't mean that the active participation of both parents not being in the child's best interest. I meant all the details within our agreement. It is written horribly and alot is left out and I don't think a judge has ever seen it.

You can go to the courthouse and check to see if the paperwork has been filed there if you are afraid the paperwork is not legitimate.

 

[kickers girl]

Ok so basically it's possible to do the whole shared parenting plan out of his attorney's office? But I think I will check on Monday to make sure its filed.

Also the parenting plan states nothing about who drives when to get her when we live about 2 hours apart so we argue about that.

There is no custodial parent, but it says I am the residential parent for school purposes only.

I told him I didn't want his money I just wanted to see my baby so I agreed to no child support. However the plan doesn't say anything about how any non medical expenses should be payed or split. (For example. I want to enroll her in early educational classes through my work by where he lives. Its $70 a month. Who pays for this?)

The plan states that if one parent is unavailable for more than 4 hours of his or her parenting time, he or she shall offer this time to the other parent before making child care arrangements. He has her every week on days he works for more than 4 hours and never offers me the time. I have tried asking for it and yes my daughter is worth driving all that way to see her for just 4 hours or more.

Also the plan says we have her 3.5 days and 3.5 days and that the parties shall use their work schedules in determining the designated days. It says if we can't agree I have her Monday am to Thursday am and he has her Thursday am to Monday am. That's me having her 3 days and him having her 4. Every time I say something about needing child support now that the economy is bad or anything that concerns her best interest that doesn't involve his best interest he threatens me saying he's getting her on Thursday even though I get her Tuesday at 2pm and he picks her up 7am on Saturdays and it's been this way forever. He threatens me this way every other week.

The plan also says I can have telephone access with the child when he has her but shes still little so I txt him and ask for a photo txt. He never sends it unless I BUG him for it repeatedly.

Any time I try to talk to him about trips where I need her for the weekend or any special day like her cousins birthday party so we can switch days he ignores my calls and txts. He wont even take my calls about her doctor appt and how to treat her ringworm she apparently has.

I can't speak with him about anything concerning her and when I mentioned child support when I picked her up last he ran around screaming in front of our child!

Are these reasons enough to have a lawyer submit for our shared parenting plan to be reviewed in court and for me to ask for a little more custody and be listed as her custodial parent? I have her insurance and I take her to the doctor as well.

 

[LdiJ]

Your first step is to find out if the parenting plan has been filed with the court and has an actual judge's signature. That could have been in your community or in dad's.

If it has been filed, you are eventually going to need a modification anyway, because you child cannot go to school and have a 50/50 schedule with the two of you living 2 hours apart.

 

[stealth2]

She's not going to school for at least 2 1/2 years, though.

 

[CJane]

She's not going to school for at least 2 1/2 years, though.

True, but there are other ways the plan sucks if it's really written as OP says...

ROFR that's activated in 4 hours is silly when the parties live 2 hours apart.

Mom is primary for school (which won't happen for a while yet) but the default schedule is Dad having more time than Mom.

There is nothing to indicate how medical expenses are to be split.

I think the illegibility of the judge's signature is irrelevant, but I do think that a modification is eventually going to be required just to clarify some of the weirdness in the plan - and yes, to avoid a fight in a couple of years when child starts school.

 

[OldandTired]

my daughter**************my daughter......my daughter**************my daughter......my daughter

Get over yourself missy. She's not YOUR daughter. She is both of yours. All I get out of anything you've posted is that you're pissed off because you didn't get what you wanted, and you're trying to micro-manage this whole thing.

You need to stop, sit back, relax, and let Dad have his time. In all that you've posted, you said, "I asked for this, and I asked for that, and he ignores me." I would ignore you too. I would turn off any means of communication you could possibly have with me during time of possession.

Go back and read your posts. You sound insane. I hope he continues to ignore you. I'm sure he's sitting there laughing every time he does ignore you because he knows he's making you that much more crazy. Do you really want to give him this much power over you?

Stop it.

 

[Ohiogal]

So if it sucked why did you sign it? Were you served notice of a hearing? Did you sign a waiver of hearing? What county?

 

[Ohiogal]

True, but there are other ways the plan sucks if it's really written as OP says...

ROFR that's activated in 4 hours is silly when the parties live 2 hours apart.

Mom is primary for school (which won't happen for a while yet) but the default schedule is Dad having more time than Mom.

There is nothing to indicate how medical expenses are to be split.

I think the illegibility of the judge's signature is irrelevant, but I do think that a modification is eventually going to be required just to clarify some of the weirdness in the plan - and yes, to avoid a fight in a couple of years when child starts school.

Mom is NOT primary for school. She is residential for school purposes which only means that the child will go to school in the district where mom lives. It changes not custody responsibilities or obligations or rights.

 

[CJane]

Mom is NOT primary for school. She is residential for school purposes which only means that the child will go to school in the district where mom lives. It changes not custody responsibilities or obligations or rights.

Sorry. In my state primary/residential are interchangeable. I forget that Ohio is weird in that you differentiate between custody/visitation/parenting time too.

 

[Ohiogal]

Sorry. In my state primary/residential are interchangeable. I forget that Ohio is weird in that you differentiate between custody/visitation/parenting time too.

Hence why I often post wrong on Missouri -- Ohio isn't wierd -- Missouri is.

 

[CJane]

Hence why I often post wrong on Missouri -- Ohio isn't wierd -- Missouri is.

Uh Huh. If you say so.

I still think the plan sucks, even if the child only uses Mom's address for school and Dad has kiddo most of the time - they live 2 hours apart. It's ridiculous. And you KNOW I'd be the first person arguing that it CAN work if it was ONE hour instead of 2.

 

[las365]

Go back and read your posts. You sound insane.

Bull. She sounds a little immature and a lot unadvised and unsophisticated in the laws that apply to her situation. She's getting legal advice here from people who know what they are talking about, especially OG. Telling her that she shouldn't question an agreement she doesn't understand and that doesn't sound workable is just bad advice.