Mom won't give us contact info

[PohPohWa]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA (King County)

My husband has recently found his daughter after 13 years of her mom keeping her from him. He chose to be amicable and simply ask to begin visitation without taking her to court, to which she agreed. She also agreed not to pursue child support from him as she had prohibited contact with his daughter for so long.

At any rate, he has now had his daughter in his life for two years. Visitation has been sporadic. Lately, he is unable to contact her mother at all to arrange visitation. All contact is through her boyfriend, who has no legal responsibility for my husband's daughter.

He has repeatedly asked for a contact number for the mother from my step-daughter and the boyfriend. But, the mother has refused.

What are his options? We have moved closer to where my stepdaughter lives, and now that she is used to us being in her life, my husband would like to have her over for weekend stays, but he doesn't feel he should have to make such arrangements through the boyfriend.

Is this a custody modification he needs to make? The original custody order in 1997 allowed my husband to see his daughter every weekend and every Wednesday. That is not happening now due to the circumstances, and he doesn't mind the informally modified visitation, but now, he's getting incredibly frustrated. Also, though his daughter is now 15 years old, she is very immature emotionally and isn't willing/capable of making a decision that is contrary to her mother's wants. This is my husband's observation as she doesn't know her address or her cell phone number and can't make her own decisions about what she would like to do or what she would like to eat.

 

[Just Blue]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/newbies-please-read-before-posting-387214.html

Please read the above the link. When done please edit your offensive post.

Thanks.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-support-98/wa-child-support-modification-527605.html

 

[breezymom]

All contact is through her boyfriend, who obviously has no legal responsibility for my husband's daughter.

...and neither do you, so I'm not sure what all this "we" stuff is, unless your husband has a mouse in his pocket who's either Mom or Dad to the child. Is there any reason he can't ask these questions?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA (King County)

We have recently found my husband's daughter after 13 years of her mom keeping her from him. We chose to try to be amicable and simply ask to begin visitation without taking her to court, to which she agreed. She also agreed not to pursue child support from us as she had prohibited contact with his daughter for so long.

At any rate, we have now had his daughter in our lives for two years. Visitation has been sporadic, thanks to her mother. Lately, we are unable to contact her mother at all to arrange visitation. All contact is through her boyfriend, who obviously has no legal responsibility for my husband's daughter.

We have repeatedly asked for a contact number for the mother from my step-daughter and the boyfriend. But, the mother has refused.

What are our options? We have moved closer to where my stepdaughter lives, and now that she is used to us being in her life, we'd like to have her over for weekend stays, but we don't feel like we should have to make such arrangements through the boyfriend.

Is this a custody modification we need to make? The original custody order in 1997 allowed my husband to see his daughter every weekend and every Wednesday. That is not happening now due to the circumstances, and we don't mind the informally modified visitation, but now, we're getting incredibly frustrated. Also, though my stepdaughter is now 15 years old, she is very immature emotionally and isn't willing/capable of making a decision that is contrary to her mother's wants.

That's true - the boyfriend has absolutely no legal responsibility or rights to your husband's child.

Same as you. You both might need to take a step back.

Your husband needs to modify the original parenting plan. Or, he needs to file in court to have the order enforced.

In other words - he can go and pick up his child per the current order, and if Mom withholds the child he can file contempt.

However, if the boyfriend is willing to act as a go-between and arrange/coordinate visitation/communication and Dad refuses to entertain that, Dad might find it hard to convince a court that Mom is actually in contempt.

 

[PohPohWa]

My husband is not very computer proficient, so I am asking the questions. As my husband and I are married and have been for 10 years, I am using we, but I will modify my post to say he.

I don't see how this is a negative post?

As far as me taking a step back, my involvement in these visitation issues has only involved searching for information for my husband and offering him support for his decisions. I do not communicate with the boyfriend, nor have I ever been involved in arranging visitation.

When my husband first started visiting with his daughter, I stayed home, but now we both spend time with her.

I'm not sure why I'm being badgered by people in my post. I am simply asking for advice and help for my husband.

 

[stealth2]

Many here prefer to deal with the actual party involved. So... Dad, not you. I am certain he can manage to peck out his questions. It's not that hard. Not if his child is that important to him. Otherwise, he could write a check to a lawyer. We don't mind either way. Really.

 

[PohPohWa]

Wow! I hadn't expected such a rude response! Thank you, Proserpina for at least being civil to me.