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Mom won't let me see or talk to our daughter

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daddycounts2

Junior Member
This is our first court hearing on this, I have no idea if it is a evidenciary hearing or not...I will call the courts directly tomorrow and ask.

It says on the papers here that this is a 'hearing on petition to modify', and is alloted 50 minutes. The paper here also states "Please advise clients, witnessess, and others that it is a class b felony to carry a firearm..." Just pointing out that sentence because it refers to witnesses.

How likely do you think it is that we will need more than one court appearance? Do you think that they would be able to schedule the next day in court asap, should we need one, so that I don't have to travel there again?

I don't know if this holds any bearing, but her 'response' was supposed to be given within 30 days before the court date and wasn't. She asks that to be forgiven on the response. So does that mean that the response could be dismissed?

As I said, I don't know if that holds any bearing at all or if I should just let that one go so not to seem petty.

As for the courts rules of disclosure regarding her use of my past emailings against me, I found this in my pro se guide on my courts website:

"You are required to serve the defendant’s attorney (or the defendant, if the
defendant is also appearing pro se) with copies of all pleadings and motions filed with
the court. Likewise, the defendant or the defendant’s attorney is required to serve
you with copies of all pleadings and motions filed on behalf of the defendant."

further down I read this:

"The terms “filings” or “pleadings” refer generally to all documents filed with the
court. Filings must be on 8 ½ x 11 inch paper of good quality."

So if I read that right, she would have to serve me copies of the emails in advance as well than, no? How would I go about enforcing this if that is the case?

As I am going pro se in this case, I was probably going to walk in there ready to make statements in response to the judge...I'm not sure what I would bring with otherwise other than a parenting plan that I would suggest. However reading through this pro se guide, it's looking like I may want to file this plan as a pleading before hand?
 
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No they are not okay for hearings. They are hearsay. You cannot cross-examine a piece of paper.

I understand the hearsay rules. I've seen this same question asked here a million times and each time the answer given is the same. I was just pointing out that some places, like here in WA, they do allow affadavits. I guess that is just another one of those things where WA differs from other states.

My attorney submitted affadavits from a drug counselor outlining the various methods of drug testing and the reliability of each. Then in another hearing he submitted affadavits from my parents over an incident with my X. They also don't allow witnesses in hearings here only in trials.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I understand the hearsay rules. I've seen this same question asked here a million times and each time the answer given is the same. I was just pointing out that some places, like here in WA, they do allow affadavits. I guess that is just another one of those things where WA differs from other states.

My attorney submitted affadavits from a drug counselor outlining the various methods of drug testing and the reliability of each. Then in another hearing he submitted affadavits from my parents over an incident with my X. They also don't allow witnesses in hearings here only in trials.
Sometimes an affidavit will be accepted HOWEVER no one should ever count on that due to the fact that more times than not they are NOT accepted.
 

daddycounts2

Junior Member
bumping...I hope it is okay to do that here?

again, I appreciate the advice so far very much...wondering if anyone has any advice on my last reply?*
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
bumping...I hope it is okay to do that here?

again, I appreciate the advice so far very much...wondering if anyone has any advice on my last reply?*
Evidence is NOT filings or pleadings or motions. Evidence is evidence introduced as exhibits. They are not filed with the court but introduced.
 

daddycounts2

Junior Member
My court date is in less than two weeks, and I thought I was prepared but now I'm not certain.

I have written up a plan that I would like to implement, I thought I just had to bring this plan to court with me and we'll go over it then. I just did a little reading and I'm worried that I was supposed to file this before the date to the judge? Was that what I'm supposed to do? I am so worried that the judge will not hear out my idea for a parenting plan now because I may be too late at this point to submit a filing.

Can you tell me if I've screwed up?
 
Write it up pretty, and then send a copy to the other party’s attorney. Send it Return Receipt Requested so that you can show that they have received it in something resembling a timely manner. That way, when you introduce it in court, their lawyer can’t say “we’ve never seen this and won’t consider it at this time”.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
My court date is in less than two weeks, and I thought I was prepared but now I'm not certain.

I have written up a plan that I would like to implement, I thought I just had to bring this plan to court with me and we'll go over it then. I just did a little reading and I'm worried that I was supposed to file this before the date to the judge? Was that what I'm supposed to do? I am so worried that the judge will not hear out my idea for a parenting plan now because I may be too late at this point to submit a filing.

Can you tell me if I've screwed up?
File it with the court as a prospective parenting plan. Send a copy to your ex. You should be able to mail it to the court for them to file it and include a certificate of service stating when you mailed an exact copy to your ex. Overnight it if you have to.
 

daddycounts2

Junior Member
I have a problem with the mediation part of the parenting plan. We disagree fairly often, and I want to add the part about resolving difficult disagreements using mediation, but I cannot afford to fly out there all the time to do mediation together. Is there any services available for phone or online mediation you know of? How can I handle this part of the plan without shooting myself in the foot?
 

daddycounts2

Junior Member
This is what I wrote on the plan:

b. Mediation by phone or online. In cases where physical presence is absolutely necessary to resolve a situation, the parent who disagreed to the issue at hand first shall pay for travel and accomodations to the other parents location for mediation. Affordable local mediation will be assessed by the parent local to the area at hand.

?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
This is what I wrote on the plan:

b. Mediation by phone or online. In cases where physical presence is absolutely necessary to resolve a situation, the parent who disagreed to the issue at hand first shall pay for travel and accomodations to the other parents location for mediation. Affordable local mediation will be assessed by the parent local to the area at hand.

?
Sorry, but that really isn't fair. The first parent to disagree is not necessarily the parent who is being unreasonable. Your ex could want to allow your child to go skydiving (for example) and you would be perfectly reasonable to object/disagree. However, the way that you wrote that, you would be stuck paying for the travel to mediate that issue.

Just put in there that mediation will be by phone or online.
 

daddycounts2

Junior Member
That's perfect actually then, because that's what I want. I just didn't know if you could do mediation by phone or online so figured I needed to come up with something where travel and expenses for physical mediation is involved. Thanks!
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
Because you are the parent who moved, the chances of you having to pick up the tab for transportation is greater.

In your parenting plan, try to include "virtual" parenting time:
* phone calls to the "other" parent on a specific schedule. By that, don't ask for something that you aren't willing to live with when the child is with you, and it is mom asking for the same thing. Might be once/twice a week ... x amount of minutes per week ... might be both parents providing towards a cell phone so that the parents can communicate with the child, etc.

* webcams

* instant messaging
 
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