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Mother of my child is giving her home drug testing!

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4jazz

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? California:

The mother of my daughter has done many things that I consider as being mentally abusive to our 4 year old but it seems as if my voice is not being heard. My ex has done outrageous things such as giving our daughter home drug testing, give our daughter beer, forcing our daughter to bath with her, told our daughter in my presence that my house was hell and that “Jesus will save her” once visitation with me was over (crying hysterically while stating this), she has posted flyers of me with my picture on it calling me trash, she sends me vicious letters calling me many things such as a child molester (which is untrue), she has made false police reports stating that I threatened to kill after I served her with court papers stating in the police report that she only called because her attorney advised her to, she has called the police to have our daughter removed in the middle of a visits and when I showed the police the court order they simply stated that this is a civil matter and since she is the custodial parent I had to immediately turn over my daughter maternal grandfather (who she has not seen in two years) until the mother could come from out of state to retrieve her and if I refused I would be arrested for kidnapping, she has claimed to the judge that the mediators lies about things she says in mediation sessions in his reports, she has uncontrollable outburst in courts which is provable by the court transcript, she has withheld visitation, phone calls, residential location, medical information and school information and this is just the icing on the cake. When this is reported to the courts, nothing happens. I can deal with the negative things that she does to me because I am an adult but my daughter is starting to regurgitate these negative and false statements which hurts. When ever in court my daughter’s mother gets verbally chastised by the judge but she continues to do the same things. The courts have even aloud her to relocate across many state lines, 1700 miles away. I have applied for change of custody but have been told that it would detrimental to our daughter to remove her from her mother who she has resided with for four years. I know for a fact that she has used drugs in the past and has had mental evaluations but I have to prove it to the judge in order to subpoena her medical records. My question is how can I prove that she is mentally unstable so that the judge will sign the subpoena? And are there any other legal avenues that I should be pursuing? I love my daughter very much and am very concerned about her safety!What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state? California:

The mother of my daughter has done many things that I consider as being mentally abusive to our 4 year old but it seems as if my voice is not being heard.
What you consider mentally abusive may not be legally abusive.

My ex has done outrageous things such as giving our daughter home drug testing,
Okay. Was this a pee in the cup test? How do you know she did that?

give our daughter beer
How much beer? HOw often? How do you know?

forcing our daughter to bath with her,
Technically notihng illegal about that.

told our daughter in my presence that my house was hell and that “Jesus will save her” once visitation with me was over (crying hysterically while stating this),
Overly religious maybe but not mental abuse. Alienating maybe but not mental abuse.

she has posted flyers of me with my picture on it calling me trash,
OPinion and probably does not rise to the level of defamation but not nice. Not mental abuse.

she sends me vicious letters calling me many things such as a child molester (which is untrue),
Not nice but not defamation or mental abuse.

she has made false police reports stating that I threatened to kill after I served her with court papers stating in the police report that she only called because her attorney advised her to,
Okay.

she has called the police to have our daughter removed in the middle of a visits and when I showed the police the court order they simply stated that this is a civil matter and since she is the custodial parent I had to immediately turn over my daughter maternal grandfather (who she has not seen in two years) until the mother could come from out of state to retrieve her and if I refused I would be arrested for kidnapping,
Did you take her back to court for contempt for interfering with your visit?

she has claimed to the judge that the mediators lies about things she says in mediation sessions in his reports,
That is normal.

she has uncontrollable outburst in courts which is provable by the court transcript
Such as?

she has withheld visitation, phone calls, residential location, medical information and school information and this is just the icing on the cake. When this is reported to the courts, nothing happens.
How is it reported? Do you prove it? Do you show up to get your child and she won't let you take her on your time?

I can deal with the negative things that she does to me because I am an adult but my daughter is starting to regurgitate these negative and false statements which hurts. When ever in court my daughter’s mother gets verbally chastised by the judge but she continues to do the same things.
Keep taking her back for contempt.

The courts have even aloud her to relocate across many state lines, 1700 miles away. I have applied for change of custody but have been told that it would detrimental to our daughter to remove her from her mother who she has resided with for four years.
Who has told you that?

I know for a fact that she has used drugs in the past and has had mental evaluations but I have to prove it to the judge in order to subpoena her medical records. My question is how can I prove that she is mentally unstable so that the judge will sign the subpoena?
That is difficult to say.

And are there any other legal avenues that I should be pursuing? I love my daughter very much and am very concerned about her safety
Why? has mom ever physically hurt the child?
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Why would any sane person be interested in drug testing a FOUR YEAR OLD? :rolleyes:
Perhaps in a misguided attempt to see if the child is being exposed to second hand pot smoke??

Not defending the OP's ex...just saying that could be the reason...;)
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Perhaps in a misguided attempt to see if the child is being exposed to second hand pot smoke??

Not defending the OP's ex...just saying that could be the reason...;)
Okay! That's a possible reason!

:rolleyes:

She's still a controlling paranoid psycho, regardless, imo. ;)
 

casa

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? California:

The mother of my daughter has done many things that I consider as being mentally abusive to our 4 year old but it seems as if my voice is not being heard. My ex has done outrageous things such as giving our daughter home drug testing, give our daughter beer, forcing our daughter to bath with her, told our daughter in my presence that my house was hell and that “Jesus will save her” once visitation with me was over (crying hysterically while stating this), she has posted flyers of me with my picture on it calling me trash, she sends me vicious letters calling me many things such as a child molester (which is untrue), she has made false police reports stating that I threatened to kill after I served her with court papers stating in the police report that she only called because her attorney advised her to, she has called the police to have our daughter removed in the middle of a visits and when I showed the police the court order they simply stated that this is a civil matter and since she is the custodial parent I had to immediately turn over my daughter maternal grandfather (who she has not seen in two years) until the mother could come from out of state to retrieve her and if I refused I would be arrested for kidnapping, she has claimed to the judge that the mediators lies about things she says in mediation sessions in his reports, she has uncontrollable outburst in courts which is provable by the court transcript, she has withheld visitation, phone calls, residential location, medical information and school information and this is just the icing on the cake. When this is reported to the courts, nothing happens. I can deal with the negative things that she does to me because I am an adult but my daughter is starting to regurgitate these negative and false statements which hurts. When ever in court my daughter’s mother gets verbally chastised by the judge but she continues to do the same things. The courts have even aloud her to relocate across many state lines, 1700 miles away. I have applied for change of custody but have been told that it would detrimental to our daughter to remove her from her mother who she has resided with for four years. I know for a fact that she has used drugs in the past and has had mental evaluations but I have to prove it to the judge in order to subpoena her medical records. My question is how can I prove that she is mentally unstable so that the judge will sign the subpoena? And are there any other legal avenues that I should be pursuing? I love my daughter very much and am very concerned about her safety!What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?
I've seen several cases where parents were giving UAs to small children...in every single case (except one) the parent administering the testing was THE parent who was giving the child drugs/medication, and was testing to see if it was traceable. (The only exception was a legit. case where the other parent was actually drugging the child- and the CP became suspicious).

In terms of Marijuana, as a poster mentioned, I've come across 4 cases where parents did hair follicle testing to determine if the child was routinely exposed to Marijuana smoke. (Which, BTW, wouldn't show up in a UA unless the child was ingesting it themselves). They don't use UAs for exposure testing, they use hair follicle.
 

4jazz

Junior Member
Sorry guys that I am just responding had a death in the family and was gone for a while... but as far as the drug testing, the CP admitted it to the mediator, to me in writing and to the judge that she was drug testing her by having her pee in the cup and yes her excuse was because she taught that she was exposed to drugs but I have never been on drugs and have no criminal records so her excuse was bogus.

Response to Ohiogal

The Courts have written it in the court order that this relocation to Texas was not in the best interest to our child but our daughter should not be removed from the mother because of the emotional bond.

I have reported the with holding of visitation to the courts, I have letters, phone records and so forth, not just my word but still nothing. They way that she gets away with the with holding is by doing things like sending letters to my old address or blaming things on her past attorney and the judge excepts these bogus lies.

The mother has not abused my daughter physically that I know of but I do know that she not mentally stable and was abused herself by the mother who she and my daughter reside with. The abuse was not reported to police but the CP use to come to my home and hide from her mother with marks on her. I know this is purly hear say because the CP could have been lying but it still worries me and when someone can lie and they the mediator the only reason I want to see my daughter is because I have taken her to small claims court and lost (which never happened) is not wrapped too tight.
 

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