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Mother of Niece trying to keep baby away

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APhillips86

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Connecticut/Massachusetts

Mae: Baby in question
Nancy: Mother of Baby
John: Father of Baby
Walter: Father of the Mother of the baby
Audrey: Mother of the Mother of the baby

John and Nancy, his girlfriend of 3 years, and the mother of his 1 year old daughter, Mae were in a fight a few nights ago. (I will post more details on this in another thread because it leads into a false claim of domestic violence)

Nancy took their daughter, John did not want them to take the Mae because Nancy's father, Walter, was driving and this man brags to everyone he knows about being a reckless driver, I have ridden with him and he was driving 90 mph down a residential street and brags about going "A buck 40" as he says, down the highway. So understandably, My brother did not want his daughter in the car with this man. Walter then said he would call the police on John if he did not hand Mae over to him. Which brings me to my first question, did he have the right to say this and would the police had made John give his daughter over to Nancy and Walter?

Now onto my second question. Nancy, after the fight moved into Massachusetts with her mother, Audrey. I do not know if this is permanent or not. She is saying that she does not want the baby around John or his mother or pretty much any of our family. Does Nancy have a right to keep the baby from us? Is there anything we can do to guarantee our rights to visitation with the baby? We did not do anything to her to deserve this, and my brother didn't do anything to deserve this. We are also worried that the baby will not be taken care of in the care of just her mother. When it was Nancy and John both, John was the only one bathing and feeding Mae. Nancy would sleep all day and I heard her tell the baby once "If you wake up I am just going to ignore you". When they were staying with John's his Mother and Step-Father were the only ones taking care of Mae. They cleaned up after the baby and Nancy, bathed the baby, fed the baby, cooked for Nancy. While Nancy sat on the couch all day and slept all day. My mother had to get up with the baby every morning and make sure she was changed and fed.

Does anyone have any advice on what we should do?
 
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CJane

Senior Member
Your post is very confusing... too many players.

The FATHER of the child's MOTHER is the erratic driver?

Is your brother the LEGAL father of this child - did he sign the AOP at the time of birth or has be been otherwise declared LEGALLY to be the father of the child?
 

APhillips86

Junior Member
Yes the father of the childs mother is the erratic driver, sorry for the way I posted it I just didn't want to post anyones names i'm pretty new to the forum and didn't know how it all worked.

And yes my brother is the Legal birth father of the baby.

I will try and edit my posts to be a little less confusing for you
 

APhillips86

Junior Member
Ok just to make this a bit easier all I would really like to know is without any court order saying that my Brother cannot see his daughter, does the mother have the right to keep the daughter away from him? And is there anything he can do to ensure that he will be able to see his daughter.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Ok just to make this a bit easier all I would really like to know is without any court order saying that my Brother cannot see his daughter, does the mother have the right to keep the daughter away from him? And is there anything he can do to ensure that he will be able to see his daughter.
Yes, he needs to file for custody/visitation. He also needs to stop drinking or he will have to pay for supervised visitation at a center.
 

APhillips86

Junior Member
Ok thank you. He is working with probation and beginning substance abuse classes. I also believe, but am not positive, that my step-father (who is a recovered alcoholic who has been sober for I believe a14-15 years) is going to bring him to AA Meetings as well.
 

APhillips86

Junior Member
Another thing I was wondering, because my sister brought this up today was, Does the mother have the right to take the baby out of state without the fathers consent? That just seems so wrong to me, i know if it were my brother who took the baby out of state and away from the mother the cops would be after him in a heartbeat, but its like the same thing?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Another thing I was wondering, because my sister brought this up today was, Does the mother have the right to take the baby out of state without the fathers consent? That just seems so wrong to me, i know if it were my brother who took the baby out of state and away from the mother the cops would be after him in a heartbeat, but its like the same thing?
That's because in an unwed situation the mother automatically has legal custody, and the father does not. If your brother were fit for custody himself, he might have been able to convince a judge to order her to return with the child to the original home state. However, since he is not, that's not going to happen.
 

moburkes

Senior Member
Another thing I was wondering, because my sister brought this up today was, Does the mother have the right to take the baby out of state without the fathers consent? That just seems so wrong to me, i know if it were my brother who took the baby out of state and away from the mother the cops would be after him in a heartbeat, but its like the same thing?
Let's say that your brother DID have the rights and responsibilities associated with being declared the legal father. He still cannot dictate what mom can do with her child on her own time, besides leave the country. Just as mom cannot dictate what he does on his own time, like leave his child with his parents and/or sister, while he goes out, goes to work, etc.
 

APhillips86

Junior Member
Eh, I just don't get why when there was no court order giving either of them custody or declaring neither of them can see the baby that she has a right to do that, marriage should have nothing to do with it. It took both of them to make the baby therefor neither of them should have more rights over the baby then the other. Neither of them are fit to be parents as I explained in another thread. Personally I think my brother would be better for the baby because he has been working really hard to turn his life around ever since he got in so much trouble (and its not like it was just last week, this was back in late may early june) And his public defender, the judge, and the prosecuting attorney all said that because he is such a hard worker and comes from such a hard working family that they believe he would be better off on society and they do not want to put him in jail at this time. And while my brother is continuing to keep himself on the right track, the baby's mother Nancy, and her father Walter, and the rest of their little group are trying everything they can think of to get my brother thrown behind bars. And during the whole thing, the baby's mother continues to neglect her and not take care of her. How to you keep your baby in the same outfit for 3 or 4 days straight and not change her? How can you make sure you get yourself in a shower but not think to give your baby a bath? Yea, my brother did something really stupid a few months ago, but I don't feel that makes him an unfit father, he took wonderful care of the baby, and was the only of the two who did it. Eh, this was more of an unloading of aggravation, or a vent if you will from an aggravated big sister than looking for anymore advice ::sigh::

I don't know its just heart breaking, I cried myself to sleep the other night because I thought i'd never see her again :(
 

moburkes

Senior Member
He doesn't have any rights become no one knows if he is the father until the DNA test is done. In the "old" days a woman could name anyone, even someone wouldn't couldn't be the father (never had sex with her, he's sterile, whatever), as the father of her child. Now, when an unmarried woman has a baby, no one knows who the father is. Have you ever seen Maury?
 

APhillips86

Junior Member
He doesn't have any rights become no one knows if he is the father until the DNA test is done. In the "old" days a woman could name anyone, even someone wouldn't couldn't be the father (never had sex with her, he's sterile, whatever), as the father of her child. Now, when an unmarried woman has a baby, no one knows who the father is. Have you ever seen Maury?
Yes I have seen Maury, not sure what that has to do with this but yes, and I am ::in mocking voice:: 300 % sure he is the father!...J/K...but there is no doubt in my mind, his mind, the mother's mind or anyone elses mind that he is her father, if you saw a picture of him when he was a baby next to a picture of the baby it looks almost identical. But anyways, he is listed as her father so legally he is her father and he would be more than willing to participate in a dna test to prove so if that is what it came down to.

But anyways, in new developments, My parents saw the baby earlier today when the mother came to get some of her things from their house and she has agreed to let them see her once a week. My stepfather is going to try to work it into letting my brother see her at the same time. I hope everything is going to work out and by next week I will be able to see my niece because I miss her terribly :(
 

moburkes

Senior Member
I'm simply trying to explain to you that a "father" has NO rights until he asks for them, by become the FATHER in the eyes of the law first. THEN, he can get court orders for both visitation and custody.
 

APhillips86

Junior Member
URG! She went to court and got a restraining order saying that my brother cannot see his daughter. I don't know how she did this without lying. Can he fight this?
 

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