Mother not following court order

[tmmorton]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

I am the prime custodial parent to my 6 year old son. His mother moved to Florida 6 months ago and after moving we drew up a court order for her parenting time. She previously had every other weekend and with her move we allowed her 8 weeks in the summer and two weeks in the winter or spring breaks.

In the order it says that she is to provide his travel itinerary 21 days prior to him leaving. It also states that any changes to the travel arrangements be made at least 21 days prior to him leaving.

If he is to be flying, she is to notify me withing 24 hours of the plane tickets being purchased, so that if he misses his flight because of me, I would be responsible to pay for any increase in fees.

She notified me, 21 days ago, that she would be picking my son up on the 22nd and driving him down to Florida. I have since learned that he would be flying down and that his ticket was already purchased. When asked about the transportation she said she was driving him down, again.

My question is: Do I have any recourse in this matter because she is not following the order?

The order clearly states how travel plans are to be handled, when I am to be notified and when she is to notify me of plane tickets being purchased. Over and over again she stated that she would be driving our son down to Florida from Michigan. It also states that when travel plans change from the original agreement, we are to notify each other in writing, and both parents are to agree to the change. This has not happened as she just lied to me about the flight. She said there was NO flight. It should be stated here that she has NEVER followed a court order.

So what are my choices in this matter. I would like to file an ex parte order tomorrow morning but not sure. Please help.

 

[tmmorton]

You left out the part that she would be driving to pick up the child then driving to another location and flying with child to Florida.

I apologize if I left something out. She has been telling me that she was going to be picking up my son and driving him to Florida. Those were the final plans. I found out today, the day before he is supposed to leave, that she is planning on picking him up and driving him to the airport, where he will be flying to Florida.

 

[Perky]

If he is to be flying, she is to notify me withing 24 hours of the plane tickets being purchased, so that if he misses his flight because of me, I would be responsible to pay for any increase in fees.

If this is the reason for notifying you of the plane tickets, then I don't see the problem. You shouldn't be held responsible for the tickets if you hadn't been notified properly.

This seems like a mole hill to me, and not worth pursuing. Besides, an ex-parte for this seems a little far-fetched.

 

[CJane]

I'm confused.

How is she supposed to notify you 21 days before child leaves that she wants him AND 21 days before child leaves that plans have changed?

Also? Why does it matter whether she's driving ALL the way, part of the way, or not at all. Child will be with Mother. That IS the point of visitation, is it not? The spending of time with the other parent?

An Ex parte is for an EMERGENCY. What is the EMERGENCY?

 

[tmmorton]

It was already set when she was to have him...she was suppose to have the travel plans finalized 21 days prior to him leaving...itineraries were suppose to have been given to me at that time and she was suppose to let me know 24 hours after the tickets were purchased. She finalized the plans and stated in her final travel plan that she would be driving him to Florida.

The point is I was completely unaware that our son would be flying, didn't know the flight plan, airline, anything...and she blatantly LIED to me about it. doesn't that account for anything? That she was never going to tell me that he was flying? what is the point of it being in the order if she doesn't need to notify me?

 

[tmmorton]

Is this not a concern that she is deliberately lying to me about her travel plans? That her blatant disregard for the truth is a concern? That she is failing to co-parent? So, she can fly him all over the united states during her visitation? I don't get it. There wouldn't be an issue if there weren't deliberate lies. She is deliberately lying for whatever reason...I don't know. That is frightening. Not to mention she just left Michigan in november to live with her new boyfriend. She just left. She has called 5 times since November to talk to our son. These are all a part of my concerns. I guess i can not convey the enormity of the situation here. It's huge to me.

 

[OldandTired]

Mr. Morton, I completely understand your issue here. My ex was exactly the same way. She lied for as many times as she could get away with it, and never once followed the Courts orders.

Since she has lied about the travel arrangements, presumably you have proof from an airline that you have confirmed there is a reservation for your child, then contact her, let her know that you are aware of the flight arrangements, and that since the travel arrangements have changed and you weren't notified within the given period of time, then you will await her 21 day prior notification, and any addition fees owed to the airline can be paid by her.

Lying costs in one way or another. Hold her to the CO.

 

[LdiJ]

Mr. Morton, I completely understand your issue here. My ex was exactly the same way. She lied for as many times as she could get away with it, and never once followed the Courts orders.

Since she has lied about the travel arrangements, presumably you have proof from an airline that you have confirmed there is a reservation for your child, then contact her, let her know that you are aware of the flight arrangements, and that since the travel arrangements have changed and you weren't notified within the given period of time, then you will await her 21 day prior notification, and any addition fees owed to the airline can be paid by her.

Lying costs in one way or another. Hold her to the CO.

Sorry, but that's bad advice.

The purpose of notification is so that dad is aware that she is taking her parenting time and so that dad is fully aware of when he has to put the child on the plane.

In this instance, mom is picking up the child from dad. What she does after she picks up the child is none of his business unless its illegal or seriously dangerous.

If he were to go to court on this he would make a fool of himself, and make himself look like a control freak.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If you are dealing with Berrien or Van Buren counties there, they will NOT consider this something for an ex parte motion.

Mom is picking up the child. YOU are NOT having to transport the child to the airport. Therefore, anything that happens AFTER the child is picked up from your place is on MOM's time. If she wanted to fly all over the country for those 8 weeks, she can. Now, do you have any provisions in that court order about notifying the other parent on vacation plans?

 

[Ohiogal]

It was already set when she was to have him...she was suppose to have the travel plans finalized 21 days prior to him leaving...itineraries were suppose to have been given to me at that time and she was suppose to let me know 24 hours after the tickets were purchased. She finalized the plans and stated in her final travel plan that she would be driving him to Florida.

The point is I was completely unaware that our son would be flying, didn't know the flight plan, airline, anything...and she blatantly LIED to me about it. doesn't that account for anything? That she was never going to tell me that he was flying? what is the point of it being in the order if she doesn't need to notify me?

Fine. Take her to court on contempt once she flies the child down there and back. And then piss off the judge because you decide you want to beat mom up over the fact and control every thing she does. She lied to you? Dearie it is raining outside my window. Oh I lied to you. It is not actually raining. Have a hissy about that. How does this change do anything negative to the child? All it does is tick off your controlling jackass gene. I think there is surgery to remove that by the way. GET OVER IT. Ask mom what the flight number is from South Bend to Florida, kiss your child and tell him to have fun.

 

[profmum]

Mr. Morton, I completely understand your issue here. My ex was exactly the same way. She lied for as many times as she could get away with it, and never once followed the Courts orders.

Since she has lied about the travel arrangements, presumably you have proof from an airline that you have confirmed there is a reservation for your child, then contact her, let her know that you are aware of the flight arrangements, and that since the travel arrangements have changed and you weren't notified within the given period of time, then you will await her 21 day prior notification, and any addition fees owed to the airline can be paid by her.

Lying costs in one way or another. Hold her to the CO.

This is not good advice.. Mum did not follow the CO about notification, true, and lied about driving the child down vs flying.. not an emergency by any means and if Dad tries to withhold the child from Mum as this poster suggests, he will get into hot water. OP, pick your battles with your ex.. bottom lines, you know now, how your son is getting to Florida with his Mother.

 

[tmmorton]

If you want a clear cut , straight legal answer go here and ask your question

Then you will know

Child Custody & Visitation

This was advice given to my current wife about this situation, on a different discussion board.

I have no idea why she was told to go here if we wanted clear cut, straight legal answers. The answers given here seem to be very much the opinions of the speakers and not those of someone with a law degree. Are there actually lawyers on this board that would like to reply?

I am actually about to leave for the court house right after I am done printing off my court forms. You all were right in your assessment that this wasn't cause for an ex parte order. So I have decided that I will enforce the 21 day notification by informing my ex that our son will not be leaving the state until she has fullfilled her requirements as per the court order.

I am also going to go in for a much needed change in custody. obviously not just on this fact alone, but on the multiple issues there are in our court case.

Thank you,

Tim Morton

P.S. thank you old and tired, I have to agree with you, and I don't think that your advice was bad.

 

[Zephyr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

I am the prime custodial parent to my 6 year old son. His mother moved to Florida 6 months ago and after moving we drew up a court order for her parenting time. She previously had every other weekend and with her move we allowed her 8 weeks in the summer and two weeks in the winter or spring breaks.

In the order it says that she is to provide his travel itinerary 21 days prior to him leaving. It also states that any changes to the travel arrangements be made at least 21 days prior to him leaving.

how is this even possible? If she makes/notifies you 21 days in advance but then needs to change the plans....what then?

If he is to be flying, she is to notify me withing 24 hours of the plane tickets being purchased, so that if he misses his flight because of me, I would be responsible to pay for any increase in fees.

She notified me, 21 days ago, that she would be picking my son up on the 22nd and driving him down to Florida. I have since learned that he would be flying down and that his ticket was already purchased. When asked about the transportation she said she was driving him down, again.

My question is: Do I have any recourse in this matter because she is not following the order?

who said he was flying?

The order clearly states how travel plans are to be handled, when I am to be notified and when she is to notify me of plane tickets being purchased. Over and over again she stated that she would be driving our son down to Florida from Michigan. It also states that when travel plans change from the original agreement, we are to notify each other in writing, and both parents are to agree to the change. This has not happened as she just lied to me about the flight. She said there was NO flight. It should be stated here that she has NEVER followed a court order.

both parents agree to the change? if the change doesn't affect you/inconvenience you- what do you care?

So what are my choices in this matter. I would like to file an ex parte order tomorrow morning but not sure. Please help.

I think that would be an incredible overreaction.....

 

[Proserpina]

P.S. thank you old and tired, I have to agree with you, and I don't think that your advice was bad.

If you want to ignore a Family Law Attorney's advice, over that of a NON attorney? Go right ahead.

Come on. Just because you haven't heard what you want to hear doesn't mean the advice you HAVE been given - you know, from an attorney - is incorrect.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

In my 14 years of dealing with the Michigan court system, you may get hit worse if you deny the parenting time on the 22nd. Mom is picking up the child - not requiring you to get a child to the airport. YOU may be required to pay for the lost ticket costs. If I were mom, I would nail you for that one.

I am currently dealing with someone, who if I didn't know better, tries these types of stunts. He'll be facing JAIL time over it.