+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 15 of 15
  1. #1
    MrQ8787 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    8

    Mother is not following the court orders, please help!

    I'm the father and I live in fort worth. The mother lives in San Antonio with my daughter. I have joint legal custody per San Antonio courts and the mother has physical custody. We went to court in august of 09 and it was decided that I would pay child support as well as medical for my daughter, in return I received visitation, one weekend a month and alternating holidays, spring break and the better part of the summer. I also had to do 3 supervised visits before I could take my daughter on my own. Child support was to start on October of 09. October came around and I've been paying on schedule every two weeks like I was ordered to. While trying to set up my first supervised visit for September (had to fly out, pay hotel, rental car + expenses since the mother was not willing to meet me in Waco, forcing me to have to go to San Antonio from Ft. Worth for visits). I was to go out there for the 13-19th of September. on the 9th of September. I've been trying to reach mom to see if the days were still ok for her to supervised the visits with my daughter. I had no response for several days and when I finally heard back from her, I find out that she's left my daughter in the care of HER family here in fort worth and she's off in San Antonio (I think, not sure where she's gone off too) collecting child support while my daughter is 10 minutes away from me. I need to know what my options are here, If my baby is not with her mother then I believe she should be with me, her Father! She used to be so far away but now she's 10 minutes away and it seems unfair that I'm still not allowed to have my baby with me when I am fully capable of caring for her, providing for her and loving her here in my home. I've heard that the mother was thinking of joining the military and I'm afraid of what's to come. What are my options? what can I do? I want custody of my daughter because I know I can care for her better than her mother can. I have a stable house hold, I live with my family who is able to care for her while I'm at work. I come home at 4PM every day, I have a stable job and she wont need anything. Please help me, I feel lost and helpless. I just want to raise my daughter.

    Thank You
  2. #2
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Watching you eat your Cheerios
    Posts
    39,136
    Quote Originally Posted by MrQ8787 View Post
    I'm the father and I live in fort worth. The mother lives in San Antonio with my daughter. I have joint legal custody per San Antonio courts and the mother has physical custody. We went to court in august of 09 and it was decided that I would pay child support as well as medical for my daughter, in return I received visitation, one weekend a month and alternating holidays, spring break and the better part of the summer. I also had to do 3 supervised visits before I could take my daughter on my own. Child support was to start on October of 09. October came around and I've been paying on schedule every two weeks like I was ordered to. While trying to set up my first supervised visit for September (had to fly out, pay hotel, rental car + expenses since the mother was not willing to meet me in Waco, forcing me to have to go to San Antonio from Ft. Worth for visits). I was to go out there for the 13-19th of September. on the 9th of September. I've been trying to reach mom to see if the days were still ok for her to supervised the visits with my daughter. I had no response for several days and when I finally heard back from her, I find out that she's left my daughter in the care of HER family here in fort worth and she's off in San Antonio (I think, not sure where she's gone off too) collecting child support while my daughter is 10 minutes away from me. I need to know what my options are here, If my baby is not with her mother then I believe she should be with me, her Father! She used to be so far away but now she's 10 minutes away and it seems unfair that I'm still not allowed to have my baby with me when I am fully capable of caring for her, providing for her and loving her here in my home. I've heard that the mother was thinking of joining the military and I'm afraid of what's to come. What are my options? what can I do? I want custody of my daughter because I know I can care for her better than her mother can. I have a stable house hold, I live with my family who is able to care for her while I'm at work. I come home at 4PM every day, I have a stable job and she wont need anything. Please help me, I feel lost and helpless. I just want to raise my daughter.

    Thank You
    What exactly does your court order say about visitation?

    Why do you have to have the supervised visits?

    What makes you think Mom isn't taking care of the child adequately?
  3. #3
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    With Capt'n Hook
    Posts
    11,320
    I think he's saying the mom lives in San Antonio, but the child is near Fort Worth where he is. If that is the case, file for custody based on the child not living with mom.

    How old is the child?
  4. #4
    MrQ8787 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    What exactly does your court order say about visitation?

    Why do you have to have the supervised visits?

    What makes you think Mom isn't taking care of the child adequately?
    Visitation requires the supervised visits cause for the past 3 years the mother has been in san antonio and Ive been in Fort worth. Ive tried to see her (my daugher) as much as possible but many times she would not allow me too (said had no time) and other times I didnt have the funds to fly/drive out to San Antonio, stay for 3 nights/days and pay expenses too.

    Basically the supervised visits were ordered so My baby could get to know me before I took her for my allowed weekends. These were SUPPOSED to be supervise by her (mother). They were to be 4 hours long each visit. Since my daughter is down here, the mothers family is supervising the visits.

    Visitation is this:
    3 supervised visits.

    After those, I get her one weekend a month of my choosing ( have to let her know 2 weeks in advance)
    All of spring Break - Every Fathers day - We alternate the holidays (1 year xmas with me, next year w/mom) - and about half of Summer Break.

    I believe she isnt taking care of her because:
    1. She has no stable household - she moves quite often and her last apt. she was evicted from.

    2. She's lived w/ 2 different men that Ive know of, she lets them live in HER apartment and encourages my baby to call them dad (I know this because she does it even when I fly/drive down there to see my daughter)

    3. Her family has just today told me that THEY have actually taken care of my daughter for 2 Years, NOT mom (Shes just turned 3, 3 weeks ago) I was NOT aware of this.

    4. Shes been in trouble with the law for fighting and is/was on probation for it.

    Quote Originally Posted by TinkerBelleLuvr View Post
    I think he's saying the mom lives in San Antonio, but the child is near Fort Worth where he is. If that is the case, file for custody based on the child not living with mom.

    How old is the child?
    She's just turned 3 years old three weeks ago. I was also recently told that my daughter was in Fort Worth for her B-Day but neither mom nor her Family informed me about it so I was not included nor present for her 3rd B-day.

    Any help/feedback/advise is MUCH MUCH appreciated.

    Thank You


    EDIT: Also, she has been here for 3 weeks that I know of for sure (In fort Worth) Does any of this give me ground to fight for full custody? Or at least Physical custody where mother would have visitation? Since she is clearly not taking care of her now, nor for the first 2 years of her life.

    Thanks Again!
    Last edited by MrQ8787; 11-14-2009 at 02:08 PM.
  5. #5
    Raisingmaddy is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Washington
    Posts
    199
    Quote Originally Posted by MrQ8787 View Post
    Visitation requires the supervised visits cause for the past 3 years the mother has been in san antonio and Ive been in Fort worth. Ive tried to see her (my daugher) as much as possible but many times she would not allow me too (said had no time) and other times I didnt have the funds to fly/drive out to San Antonio, stay for 3 nights/days and pay expenses too.

    Basically the supervised visits were ordered so My baby could get to know me before I took her for my allowed weekends. These were SUPPOSED to be supervise by her (mother). They were to be 4 hours long each visit. Since my daughter is down here, the mothers family is supervising the visits.

    Visitation is this:
    3 supervised visits.

    After those, I get her one weekend a month of my choosing ( have to let her know 2 weeks in advance)
    All of spring Break - Every Fathers day - We alternate the holidays (1 year xmas with me, next year w/mom) - and about half of Summer Break.

    I believe she isnt taking care of her because:
    1. She has no stable household - she moves quite often and her last apt. she was evicted from.

    2. She's lived w/ 2 different men that Ive know of, she lets them live in HER apartment and encourages my baby to call them dad (I know this because she does it even when I fly/drive down there to see my daughter)

    3. Her family has just today told me that THEY have actually taken care of my daughter for 2 Years, NOT mom (Shes just turned 3, 3 weeks ago) I was NOT aware of this.

    4. Shes been in trouble with the law for fighting and is/was on probation for it.



    She's just turned 3 years old three weeks ago. I was also recently told that my daughter was in Fort Worth for her B-Day but neither mom nor her Family informed me about it so I was not included nor present for her 3rd B-day.

    Any help/feedback/advise is MUCH MUCH appreciated.

    Thank You


    EDIT: Also, she has been here for 3 weeks that I know of for sure (In fort Worth) Does any of this give me ground to fight for full custody? Or at least Physical custody where mother would have visitation? Since she is clearly not taking care of her now, nor for the first 2 years of her life.

    Thanks Again!
    Do you know if the child is just there on vacation, or is there specified date when mom is supposed to pick the child up?
  6. #6
    MrQ8787 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by Raisingmaddy View Post
    Do you know if the child is just there on vacation, or is there specified date when mom is supposed to pick the child up?
    No Its not Vacation. Her family says she doesnt know when her mom is supposed to come back for her so its up in the air for now.
  7. #7
    MrQ8787 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    8
    They also dont seem o know what shes doing or planning on doing but according to them this is not the first time that my daughters been left with them and theyve also taken her (My daughter) from her (mother) because she was unable to take care of her.

    All of this was unannounced to me and I have figured out that before when I wanted to go see her (my daughter) and mom said she didnt have time really meant that she didnt have my baby with her and she was actually 10 minutes from my house, I was never told this by anyone (mother or mothers family)

    Please help me IDK what to do or what I can do...

    Thank You
  8. #8
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,153
    Quote Originally Posted by MrQ8787 View Post
    They also dont seem o know what shes doing or planning on doing but according to them this is not the first time that my daughters been left with them and theyve also taken her (My daughter) from her (mother) because she was unable to take care of her.

    All of this was unannounced to me and I have figured out that before when I wanted to go see her (my daughter) and mom said she didnt have time really meant that she didnt have my baby with her and she was actually 10 minutes from my house, I was never told this by anyone (mother or mothers family)

    Please help me IDK what to do or what I can do...

    Thank You
    You file for custody based on the fact that the child is not living with her mother. That is really all that you can do.
  9. #9
    MrQ8787 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    You file for custody based on the fact that the child is not living with her mother. That is really all that you can do.
    What are the chances of me getting custody?

    once the mother is served does she have the ability to come back and pick her up just to avoid/deny the fact that she hasnt been caring for her?
  10. #10
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,153
    Quote Originally Posted by MrQ8787 View Post
    What are the chances of me getting custody?

    once the mother is served does she have the ability to come back and pick her up just to avoid/deny the fact that she hasnt been caring for her?
    Yes, unfortunately once you file mom could very well pick up the child and take the child to live with her again, which would negate your argument to some extent.

    However, if you don't try, then the child could live with the grandparents long enough that THEY could have an argument for status quo.
  11. #11
    MrQ8787 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Yes, unfortunately once you file mom could very well pick up the child and take the child to live with her again, which would negate your argument to some extent.

    However, if you don't try, then the child could live with the grandparents long enough that THEY could have an argument for status quo.
    Isnt there some kind of temporary orders that could be set in place that would allow me to have custody until trial?

    Theres got to be something I can do, this isnt right and I dont feel that Im being considered equally AT ALL as my daughters biological father.

    Mother hasnt taken care of my baby for the better part of her life and in doing so without telling me has kept me away for the same amount of time.

    Im a willing father and dont care about the CS or court fees or anything else, its all monetary I can pay it all it doesnt matter if it takes me till the last of my working days to do so, I care about my daughter being in a good home where she is loved and can be brought up in a stable healthy environment.

    This whole process of CS, custody and visitation has left me distraught and untrusting of the court system, good doesn't always prevail over bad.

    Such a sad statement, so sad that its true...
  12. #12
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,153
    Quote Originally Posted by MrQ8787 View Post
    Isnt there some kind of temporary orders that could be set in place that would allow me to have custody until trial?

    Theres got to be something I can do, this isnt right and I dont feel that Im being considered equally AT ALL as my daughters biological father.

    Mother hasnt taken care of my baby for the better part of her life and in doing so without telling me has kept me away for the same amount of time.

    Im a willing father and dont care about the CS or court fees or anything else, its all monetary I can pay it all it doesnt matter if it takes me till the last of my working days to do so, I care about my daughter being in a good home where she is loved and can be brought up in a stable healthy environment.

    This whole process of CS, custody and visitation has left me distraught and untrusting of the court system, good doesn't always prevail over bad.

    Such a sad statement, so sad that its true...
    You can certainly ask for temporary orders. However part of the problem is that once you serve mom she has a window to respond, and during that window she could pick up the child and then argue that the child was just visiting the grandparents.

    I am not telling you not to try. In fact, I am specifically telling you that you absolutely should try. I just want you to be prepared for what might happen.

    If there is any way that you can pick up the child for visitation, and then immediately file you might be able to get away with keeping the child unitl the first hearing, which would put you in a stronger position for temporary custody pending the outcome of the case.

    However, you should NOT do that unless you are certain that the child is truly living with the grandparents, and not just visiting.
  13. #13
    MrQ8787 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    You can certainly ask for temporary orders. However part of the problem is that once you serve mom she has a window to respond, and during that window she could pick up the child and then argue that the child was just visiting the grandparents.

    I am not telling you not to try. In fact, I am specifically telling you that you absolutely should try. I just want you to be prepared for what might happen.

    If there is any way that you can pick up the child for visitation, and then immediately file you might be able to get away with keeping the child unitl the first hearing, which would put you in a stronger position for temporary custody pending the outcome of the case.

    However, you should NOT do that unless you are certain that the child is truly living with the grandparents, and not just visiting.
    If I were to do this would the fact that she didn't actually have my daughter with her for the first 2 years as she had said she did come into play or affect anything?

    Im 100% Certain that she is not here just visiting. Her (mothers) Family has no Idea when she will be back for my baby or what she is doing over there (San Antonio). They actually commented that they wished she would come back sooner cause they have 4 daughters of their own to take care of. What would I have to do to make sure that this fact isnt disputed? Id hate for her to say that this isnt true and then be able to get away with it. I know for a fact that its not short term and that the mothers intentions and whereabouts are unknown.

    Thank You so much for all the help and comments so far, I really appreciate this, I just want to make sense of this whole situation in order to give my daughter what is best for her and what she deserves.

    Thank You again!
  14. #14
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,153
    Quote Originally Posted by MrQ8787 View Post
    If I were to do this would the fact that she didn't actually have my daughter with her for the first 2 years as she had said she did come into play or affect anything?

    Im 100% Certain that she is not here just visiting. Her (mothers) Family has no Idea when she will be back for my baby or what she is doing over there (San Antonio). They actually commented that they wished she would come back sooner cause they have 4 daughters of their own to take care of. What would I have to do to make sure that this fact isnt disputed? Id hate for her to say that this isnt true and then be able to get away with it. I know for a fact that its not short term and that the mothers intentions and whereabouts are unknown.

    Thank You so much for all the help and comments so far, I really appreciate this, I just want to make sense of this whole situation in order to give my daughter what is best for her and what she deserves.

    Thank You again!
    The first two years of the child's life won't be relevant. What is most relevant is the current status quo.

    No one can tell you what to do to make sure that it isn't disputed, because it can be disputed. Its going to come down to credibility.
  15. #15
    MrQ8787 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    The first two years of the child's life won't be relevant. What is most relevant is the current status quo.

    No one can tell you what to do to make sure that it isn't disputed, because it can be disputed. Its going to come down to credibility.
    LdiJ, Thanks so much for he advise. I've set up n appointment with a lawyer here in fort worth and I'm also still talking to my attorney in San Antonio to figure out the best way to go about this.

    Like I said, I know this isnt temporary and I know I can provide for my baby better than she or her family can. Im going to look into the temporary orders.

    Thanks again youve helped me out with great advise as well as to cellect my thoughts and have at least some Idea of how to handle this. I really appreciate your time and efforts.

    Thank You

Similar Threads

  1. Court Orders
    By nckids in forum Other Government & Administrative Law Matters
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-13-2011, 06:09 PM
  2. Mother not obeying court orders
    By bystander14 in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 07-26-2005, 09:02 AM
  3. Court Findings vs Court Orders
    By AuburnAngl in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-03-2003, 11:46 AM
  4. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 03-31-2003, 10:05 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.