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Mother refusing to let the kids go to father

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MO2008

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

The father has a letter from the lawyer stating that under Missouri law, until their court is final, he has temporary custody and neither parent is to remove them from the jurisdiction. The mother picked up the 2 children for her weekend visitation that was verbally agreed upon that she would get every other weekend. She is now refusing to let the girls come back to their home they've been in since they were born until they ask to leave (they are 6 and 2).

What is the father to do to get them back?
 


Humusluvr

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

The father has a letter from the lawyer stating that under Missouri law, until their court is final, he has temporary custody and neither parent is to remove them from the jurisdiction. The mother picked up the 2 children for her weekend visitation that was verbally agreed upon that she would get every other weekend. She is now refusing to let the girls come back to their home they've been in since they were born until they ask to leave (they are 6 and 2).

What is the father to do to get them back?
As the saying goes, verbal agreements aren't worth the paper they're written on.

Tell dad to tell mom he'll be picking up the kids at such and such a place, if she doesn't show, have the custody order in hand and call the cops, they'll make a report of the failure to return children, and then dad files for contempt of the temp order the first thin the next morning.

Why would you make a verbal agreement when a judge told you to follow an order? This looks bad on both parents part that this "verbal agreement" went awry.
 

MO2008

Junior Member
The court did not make any decisions... it is Missouri law that the home they are in for 60 days after petition filed is their home until court. It does not state anything about VISITATION... therefore, they made an agreement she could have them EOW until court made a decision... The letter does not state she can't have visitation. But, since their home is legally the home with father and she won't let them come home until they are ready, he wants to step in and get them back in their home.

I will notify him of your response on notifying her of pick up time and place (this he has already done even though she refuses, he has set this up for Friday morning at her sisters where she is living since she was evicted from her home). He didn't want to have to call the cops, but if that's the process I will let him know.

Thank you.
 
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Humusluvr

Senior Member
The court did not make any decisions... it is Missouri law that the home they are in for 60 days after petition filed is their home until court. It does not state anything about VISITATION... therefore, they made an agreement she could have them EOW until court made a decision... THE LETTER DOES NOT STATE SHE CAN'T HAVE VISITATION. But, since their home is legally the home with father and she won't let them come home until they are ready, he wants to step in and get them back in their home.

I will notify him of your response on notifying her of pick up time and place (this he has already done even though she refuses, he has set this up for Friday morning at her sisters where she is living since she was evicted from her home). He didn't want to have to call the cops, but if that's the process I will let him know.

Thank you.
Just so you know - a 6 year old and a 2 year old don't get to decide when they want to come home. They can't even decide between burt and ernie at that age - so mom is letting them run the show?

Follow the judge's order to the letter - that is the best way to make sure neither of you are in contempt.
 

acmb05

Senior Member
Just so you know - a 6 year old and a 2 year old don't get to decide when they want to come home. They can't even decide between burt and ernie at that age - so mom is letting them run the show?

Follow the judge's order to the letter - that is the best way to make sure neither of you are in contempt.
There is no Order. The OP already stated that.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
It is not unless of course a restraining order is put into effect. OP who the heck are you in this situation> AND DO NOT START ANOTHER THREAD. Put your posts in this thread. If mom is depressed and doesn't have a home where are the children when they are with her?
 

MO2008

Junior Member
I am the girlfriend of father, he works construction and asked me to find out this info for him but is going to call his lawyer today since she is refusing and other situations I haven't posted.

OG- The girls are at their aunts house where mother is living for now, or atleast while the girls are with her. But that home is 3 bedroom... 3 adults and 5 kids.... father does not like this arrangement but not sure he can do anything about it??

There is not a court ordered custody (they go to court on Oct 1)... it is Missouri law 452.310.3 R.S.Mo. according to the letter from the lawyer. It states:

"Upon the filing of the Petition in a proceeding for Dissolution of Marriage or Legal Seperation, each child shall immediately be subject to the jurisdiction of the court...until permitted by order of the court, neither parent shall remove any child from the jurisdiction of the court or from any parent whom the child has primarily resided for the 60 days immediately preceeding the filing of Petition for Dissolution of Marriage..."

So, it doesn't state that she isn't allowed visitation, therefore father has let her have them when she shows up on a weekend which is rare, now she got them for the weekend but is now stating she won't let them come back "til they are ready" and as OhioGal stated and as we all know.... they are 6 and 2 and cannot decide that for themselves. This is why father is stuck and unsure if the cops have to be involved or where to go from this?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I am the girlfriend of father, he works construction and asked me to find out this info for him but is going to call his lawyer today since she is refusing and other situations I haven't posted.

OG- The girls are at their aunts house where mother is living for now, or atleast while the girls are with her. But that home is 3 bedroom... 3 adults and 5 kids.... father does not like this arrangement but not sure he can do anything about it??

There is not a court ordered custody (they go to court on Oct 1)... it is Missouri law 452.310.3 R.S.Mo. according to the letter from the lawyer. It states:

"Upon the filing of the Petition in a proceeding for Dissolution of Marriage or Legal Seperation, each child shall immediately be subject to the jurisdiction of the court...until permitted by order of the court, neither parent shall remove any child from the jurisdiction of the court or from any parent whom the child has primarily resided for the 60 days immediately preceeding the filing of Petition for Dissolution of Marriage..."

So, it doesn't state that she isn't allowed visitation, therefore father has let her have them when she shows up on a weekend which is rare, now she got them for the weekend but is now stating she won't let them come back "til they are ready" and as OhioGal stated and as we all know.... they are 6 and 2 and cannot decide that for themselves. This is why father is stuck and unsure if the cops have to be involved or where to go from this?
Dad is going to need to get his attorney involved. There is no other way around that. Yes, the law does state that, but the police certainly will not enforce that. The courts MAY do something about it however if dad gets his attorney involved.

You however need to seriously take a back seat in this whole situation. Your involvement with dad is a bit problematic at this stage...getting involved with the legal aspects could be very damaging to dad.
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
I am the girlfriend of father, he works construction and asked me to find out this info for him but is going to call his lawyer today since she is refusing and other situations I haven't posted.

OG- The girls are at their aunts house where mother is living for now, or atleast while the girls are with her. But that home is 3 bedroom... 3 adults and 5 kids.... father does not like this arrangement but not sure he can do anything about it??

There is not a court ordered custody (they go to court on Oct 1)... it is Missouri law 452.310.3 R.S.Mo. according to the letter from the lawyer. It states:

"Upon the filing of the Petition in a proceeding for Dissolution of Marriage or Legal Seperation, each child shall immediately be subject to the jurisdiction of the court...until permitted by order of the court, neither parent shall remove any child from the jurisdiction of the court or from any parent whom the child has primarily resided for the 60 days immediately preceeding the filing of Petition for Dissolution of Marriage..."
Well I’m more comfortable with the children visiting their Aunt’s with their mother during their summer vacation, than I am with them hanging out at home with MARRIED Daddy and his new bedmate. Daddy's pretty busy working constrction ya know.

As a random chick on the Internet, I have as much say in the matter as you do.

At this point, Mom hasn’t moved out as she has not established residency, she on vacation. Dad offered EOW for Mom, Mom said screw that. Without a court order specifying otherwise, what she did IS legal.

Furthermore, I wouldn’t be shocked of the children were ordered to have primary custody with Mom during the temp orders. If Dad prefers them at their life-long home, HE can move out during Mom’s custodial time.

That’s why Mommies and Daddies shouldn’t find new bedmates while they are still married and not a drop of ink has been used formalize arrangements.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I am the girlfriend of father, he works construction and asked me to find out this info for him but is going to call his lawyer today since she is refusing and other situations I haven't posted.
You are in otherwords an adulterous mistress to a married man. Which means mom has a case for adultery and for lack of good morals for dad. Better watch or a restraining order can be put against you prohibiting YOU from being around the children until divorce is final. That is the FIRST thing I would do.

OG- The girls are at their aunts house where mother is living for now, or atleast while the girls are with her. But that home is 3 bedroom... 3 adults and 5 kids.... father does not like this arrangement but not sure he can do anything about it??
Oh well. Nothing wrong with that situation necessarily.

There is not a court ordered custody (they go to court on Oct 1)... it is Missouri law 452.310.3 R.S.Mo. according to the letter from the lawyer. It states:

"Upon the filing of the Petition in a proceeding for Dissolution of Marriage or Legal Seperation, each child shall immediately be subject to the jurisdiction of the court...until permitted by order of the court, neither parent shall remove any child from the jurisdiction of the court or from any parent whom the child has primarily resided for the 60 days immediately preceeding the filing of Petition for Dissolution of Marriage..."
Actually that is not this:
The court did not make any decisions... it is Missouri law that the home they are in for 60 days after petition filed is their home until court. It does not state anything about VISITATION... therefore, they made an agreement she could have them EOW until court made a decision... The letter does not state she can't have visitation. But, since their home is legally the home with father and she won't let them come home until they are ready, he wants to step in and get them back in their home.
Both of those are two very different things. Jurisdiction is the STATE of Missouri court system. And did the child also live with mom primarily for 60 days before hand? Where was mom during that time? Without actual custody decisions then mom could be considered the primary parent as well.

So, it doesn't state that she isn't allowed visitation, therefore father has let her have them when she shows up on a weekend which is rare, now she got them for the weekend but is now stating she won't let them come back "til they are ready" and as OhioGal stated and as we all know.... they are 6 and 2 and cannot decide that for themselves. This is why father is stuck and unsure if the cops have to be involved or where to go from this?

The cops are not going to be involved nor get involved. There are no court orders to the contrary. Also mom has NOT changed their residence. She is just exercising companionship with HER children. Which she is allowed to do for longer periods of time than just a weekend. A change of residence for the children would be enrolling them in a school not in dad's area or something of that nature. You have NOTHING.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Dad is going to need to get his attorney involved. There is no other way around that. Yes, the law does state that, but the police certainly will not enforce that. The courts MAY do something about it however if dad gets his attorney involved.

You however need to seriously take a back seat in this whole situation. Your involvement with dad is a bit problematic at this stage...getting involved with the legal aspects could be very damaging to dad.
LD OP is misinterpreting the law however and there is no proof that the children have resided primarily with dad without an order stating that. A court order is necessary to delineate the times that each parent has companionship. Without that mom has done nothing wrong. She can keep the children as long as she wants. She cannot sign them up for school at her address however. Or do other residential things with them.
 

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