Motion for Mediation or simply to Order?

[MeMyselfNI]

State: Ohio.

State: Ohio.
Sorry this is gonna be lengthy. I just want to make sure I am doing things correctly. We are both pro-se.

I have a pre-trial hearing coming up in a couple of weeks. Currently there is no order for visitation and that is what this hearing is for. The mother and I were never married. At the same time I filed for this hearing to establish my rights and visitation, I also submitted a shared parenting plan that was pretty detailed (I got it from deltabravo and tweaked a couple of things and also added a few things that are relevant to the parents). This was late November.

As of now, the mother has not submitted a plan at all and has only stated she is not going to sign it and has stated that I should get visitation only and not joint legal custody. She offered no reason whatsoever. She also claims that it's too controlling (which it isn't...she just doesn't like the idea that now she has to run things through me as well and she can't make all the decisions). Just seems like the typical "I get your money and will call the shots, too" woman. At this same time I filed the parenting plan and to establish visitation, I also a motion for temporary visitation, with a few stipulations included because it was close to Christmas at the time. I have seen the children before, but mom won't let me see them now. She filed some stupid response, but because her response failed to follow proper rules of civil procedure, I filed a motion to have it dismissed. Then they added my motion Motion on Temporary Visitation, in addition to a pre-trial hearing.

As far as the parenting plan goes...it'll be 8 weeks since this was filed and she hasn't even shown the court what she wants, except for some garbage about not giving me ONLY visitation and no joint legal. BTW...she's got nothing on me...no criminal record, no drinking, drugs, etc...I am a clean person. If at the hearing, she has NOT filed anything as far as what she wants or her own plan, can I simply motion to order on my shared parenting plan (after all, 8 weeks is plenty of time to file SOMETHING). OR is it standard for the court to establish visitation then the parenting plan later (even though the kids are not "strangers"...they know me and have spent time w/me unsupervised)? Kids are 8 by the way.

I don't think the Judge will tell her that she needs to file one (I would think that would be considered "legal advice), but if they deny my motion to order on my plan, should I motion for mediation or wait it out to see if she files something STILL and motion again to have my plan entered into the court. I just don't see any point in mediating my plan when there's honestly nothing wrong with it and since she failed to submit her own plan. She really doesn't have a clue what she's doing. I am not saying that to be mean, but it's true. She thinks a court of law is like what's on TV during the day haha).

Also, what happens usually at these pre-trial hearings?

She's doing her case pro se, too...but relies on name-calling and making baseless accusations as her defense. When she files this garbage as her "response", I file the appropriate motion to have it striken because it usually doesn't follow the rules of civil procedure, doesn't include any evidence, and/or doesn't state an "action" that is required. Meanwhile, my stuff has case law, evidence, follows local and state procedure, etc. I will be filing a motion to have her mentally evaluated by the court because of her actions (letters, phone harassment, name-calling) and will be requesting she held responsible for all costs since she has brought this on herself.

There's more to this that I have questions on, but I asked enough and ranted on too long with this one. Sorry if anyone trailed off and thanks for any advice. Hope this made sense.

 

[Zephyr]

it can't hurt you to request mediation, it shows you are wantring to work with the other parent, and if mom refuses it or doesn't cooperate during mediation, well that does not look good for her

 

[MeMyselfNI]

it can't hurt you to request mediation, it shows you are wantring to work with the other parent, and if mom refuses it or doesn't cooperate during mediation, well that does not look good for her

That's what I kinda thought. Since the mom doesn't know what she's doing and since she hasn't even indicated what she wants nor has she submitted any type of plan, I would think that she would have to prove how MY plan is not in the best interest of the children. I would certainly hope during mediation she can't state "well, I want this in there" -- after all, she had 8 weeks to submit her plan or what she wanted.

Also, I served her with "Request to Produce" and "Interrogatories" close to a month ago and I am pretty confident that she won't fill them out. Her attitude is "I won't do anything until a court tells me to do." She even put it in writing and I've already filed that with the court. Once she doesn't comply with that (which she is required to per Ohio Rules of Civil Procedure), I will file a motion to comply and motion for sanctions for a monetary amount, which rules of civ procedure allow me. I am just letting her setting herself up as uncooperative and trying to delay everything as time is ticking away when she'll lose all control.

I've spent alot of time learning procedure, court rules and all that. I pretty much have everything strategically planned out. Once she fails to fill out the request to produce and interrogatories and I file a motion to comply, I am also going to file a motion to restrict her parental rights and responsibilities based on her previous behavior and actions that indicate how it was not in the best interest of the children. I've had to file a Motion to comply so I can get info regarding kids doctors, school stuff etc because she failed to provide that to me until a court tells her too (that letter is on file, as well).
So, I've already started to display to the court a history on her as far as not cooperating with me. Meanwhile, she thinks it bothers me, but I sit back and laugh at her because she's digging herself a hole.

How do judges usually view a parent like her who has to be "ordered" to do everything? Do they actually do anything about this type of behavior or are simply like "you deal with it"?

Oh geez...another long winded one

 

[Zephyr]

That's what I kinda thought. Since the mom doesn't know what she's doing and since she hasn't even indicated what she wants nor has she submitted any type of plan, I would think that she would have to prove how MY plan is not in the best interest of the children. I would certainly hope during mediation she can't state "well, I want this in there" -- after all, she had 8 weeks to submit her plan or what she wanted.Also, I served her with "Request to Produce" and "Interrogatories" close to a month ago and I am pretty confident that she won't fill them out. Her attitude is "I won't do anything until a court tells me to do." She even put it in writing and I've already filed that with the court. Once she doesn't comply with that (which she is required to per Ohio Rules of Civil Procedure), I will file a motion to comply and motion for sanctions for a monetary amount, which rules of civ procedure allow me. I am just letting her setting herself up as uncooperative and trying to delay everything as time is ticking away when she'll lose all control.

I've spent alot of time learning procedure, court rules and all that. I pretty much have everything strategically planned out. Once she fails to fill out the request to produce and interrogatories and I file a motion to comply, I am also going to file a motion to restrict her parental rights and responsibilities based on her previous behavior and actions that indicate how it was not in the best interest of the children. I've had to file a Motion to comply so I can get info regarding kids doctors, school stuff etc because she failed to provide that to me until a court tells her too (that letter is on file, as well).
So, I've already started to display to the court a history on her as far as not cooperating with me. Meanwhile, she thinks it bothers me, but I sit back and laugh at her because she's digging herself a hole.

How do judges usually view a parent like her who has to be "ordered" to do everything? Do they actually do anything about this type of behavior or are simply like "you deal with it"?

Oh geez...another long winded one

just so you don't set yourself up for a big disappointment- the purpose of mediation os to find a workable common ground- so if YOU are requesting mediation be prepared to bend a bit, mom should be able to add stuff or tweak stuff within reason.

 

[MeMyselfNI]

just so you don't set yourself up for a big disappointment- the purpose of mediation os to find a workable common ground- so if YOU are requesting mediation be prepared to bend a bit, mom should be able to add stuff or tweak stuff within reason.

I definitely don't have a problem "bending a bit", but I know the mother will try to all decision making abilities of me eliminated or restricted just because she doesn't want to consult with me on anything. She has no legal reason for doing it and can't prove anything, so I would anticipate that a mediator would be able to see exactly what she is doing.

One thing I am curious about, but I am considering filing an amended shared parenting plan which would make me the primary residential parent (since the mother doesn't work and doesn't have her own residence anymore). But if I did that, I think I would have to re-file it and start over. The one I submitted has her as the parent where children get mail, go to school and that type of stuff.